Owen slept all night round two. I’m praying for the third night in a row. I can’t even imagine it but I’m truly praying for it. When he woke he had two things on his mind checking for trains and going bowling. And I can tell you today didn’t go according to his plan. I look back over the day and it was fine but sadness and meltdowns were hard for Owen. He still had a good day and I saw progress but the emotions attached to those moments were hard. He came to find me when it was almost six in the morning. He wanted his tablet right away but I convinced him to go potty first. Then he realized he needed to find his bunny slippers and he talked to me about his boots and the fact that they weren’t brown shoes. I gave him choices of what he would like for breakfast and he selected waffles. He sat eating his waffles, singing Humpty Dumpty in Thai. I’m still amazed at how many languages he actually knows. We got ready to start our adventures. We first stopped at our beloved coffee shop and he wanted a coffee with me. I got him a frozen chocolate milk and I had a frozen coffee. He went to see his grandma for a little bit before our bowling adventure. When I picked him up he had very specific instructions on where he wanted me to drive. I needed to drive “straight by the yellow house to check for trains”. I do not know which yellow house he meant and I couldn’t go straight. I want to scream and cry and meltdown on the floor with him. It’s hard, it’s truly hard. There are no words I can say to him to convince him I have no clue where the yellow house is and why I can’t go straight and why I’m not checking for trains. This could have been instruction his bus driver said or maybe a video he watched and it could have even been from years ago. He forgets nothing. By the time we got to bowling, he was in complete meltdown mode. The thousands of thoughts run through my head of what I could have done to make this better. I calmed him down before I even attempted to take him inside but my emotions were there too. He did well with bowling once we got inside but there were still moments where I thought he was going to throw himself on the ground. Even though he was having a rough time he was also sad when bowling was over. We came home but it wasn’t the easiest of trips. And I had to get gas. I waited for more screams but they were minimal. I sit on pins and needles waiting for his actions and reactions to the world and then I wait for the reactions and actions of the world. I always pray that Owen doesn’t have a meltdown when we are out. When we got home he started talking about his days ahead. He asked for church and then his teacher, wanting to ride the bus to her on Monday. I breathed. I tried every way I could think of to distract him so I put M&Ms on a plate to count colors with him. He started grabbing them off the plate before I could even finish the instructions. He ate three but somehow he only ate the shell off them, rubbing them all over his face as he was doing it. I guess he likes sweets now or at least to taste them. He cried himself to sleep, screaming about checking for trains and going straight. So many wonderful moments from our day and so many clouds of rain sitting over our parade. I pray as the next few days turn into the next few weeks and months that he finds a peace until he can see his teacher again in August. I already know he got our next Saturday planned again. Follow your heart, believe in miracles, and grow with the opportunities of tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.