I’m emotional and I’m exhausted. Owen went to spend a few hours with his grandma today. Before I picked him up I ran a few errands. When I got to her house I stood at the sink to wash my hands. Owen came to me and hit me, yelling, “turn it off”. From there it kept going into full meltdown mode. He pushed me a couple more times and then we made him sit and apologize to me. As soon as he got up he started throwing the pillows off the couch. He wanted to watch TV, but he was having a hard time processing it all. He ran from room to room and then to turn the TV on. I told him we were leaving, that he could watch TV at home. He kept spiraling. We tried to distract him. Finally, I told him that we were going home, but he could play frisbee with the dog next door. This really didn’t register with him what that meant so my mom told him he could go to the swing. It still took convincing, but out the door, we finally went. He’s getting bigger and stronger. I want to make sure he understands his emotions and that we have to be nice to others. And I want to cry. People tell me this gets easier. I tell them it just gets different. This is my little boy, my heart, my soul, and he struggles with different things every day. When we walked outside the neighbor saw us and he got the frisbee for the dog. Owen was still not processing everything at first, but after a few times of seeing the dog catch the frisbee, he was ready to throw it to her. The difference felt amazing. He played with her for about fifteen minutes, still struggling but juggling his emotions much better. The night went pretty calm after that until bath time and when he came to his room I still had some laundry on his bed. Before I could get to him he threw it all on the floor, screaming about his bed. Owen’s squeals and squeaks and squawks and screams get me. I want to laugh and cry and scream right there with him and hold him tight through all his emotions. I’m thankful it only took him about an hour to fall asleep tonight. His smile, that’s what I hold on to and the happy moments that he ran across the yard with “de puppy” playing. Find your joy, hold it close to your heart, and remember to smile through your day. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.