How big can the gone fishing sign be and where can I hang it so it stands out. I keep telling myself autism is as much about how I handle it as it is about Owen having it. And today I want to cry. I sip more coffee instead. The meltdowns have come hard, fast, and furious all week. One after another. More sips because those tears want to fall. How hard does this have to be for my baby. Over the years we’ve worked very hard to keep these meltdowns under wraps and then along came this week and bam meltdown central and no way to get around them. The triggers for his meltdowns are endless and then I really don’t know what’s causing them. My child’s brain is beyond amazing and calculating things before I realize there’s something to calculate. The goal, the hundred million percent goal is always to keep the meltdowns away. But this week one after another. I’m exhausted and I hurt for my sweet baby O. The one thing I have to remember is that I have to keep calm. It’s not an option, I have to be calm. I can tell you I want to be on that floor kicking and screaming with him but the calmer I am the more I can help him find his calm. Coffee is not keeping the tears from rolling now. I can see the glaze in Owen’s eyes when he is in meltdown. He can’t focus on me or anything else besides getting himself centered and the emotions set right. When he sees the chaos in whatever it is there is no calm for him. I knew early on in this journey we had to get him to find a different focus. I begged him to use other parts of his brain to find calm. I told him I knew he could do it. I made up a song and would sing it to distract him. When I saw a little bit of a change I would rapid-fire questions at him, trying to get him to respond. Back then he didn’t have words but it was more the means of a distraction. As the night wore on he calmed. He let me play with him on his tablet, even letting me select the options. He gave me numerous big hugs and put his forehead to my lips to kiss him. I tell him all the time he will move the mountains he chooses and he through our challenges we grow. Today was not easy but tomorrow can be beautiful. Seek happiness in every moment and joy within your heart will soar. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.