Every single noise echoes through my mind like a herd of elephants trampling the bushes through a storm of mass proportions. “Bwanket pwease”, he yells over and over again. My heart pounds through my head. The elephants trumpeting again. My heart aches and rejoices more times than I can count each day. The emotions are never-ending and the love never dying. Sometimes breathing feels hard. I can’t imagine what Owen goes through. I wonder if he feels lonely or if he even understands that concept. I know I do. I feel like there is no one else in the world that could possibly understand these emotions, yet I know that there is someone crying reading this. Maybe they aren’t crying for the same reasons but they are crying. The last few days I have really been struggling, knowing that I have to keep pushing forward, but feel no mercy from the world around me. Physically and emotionally exhausted, hoping and praying for a calm in our ever-changing world, but yet seeing progress in Owen that keeps me in a positive light. The last few weeks have also shown me that for every tear I’ve shed there are victories coming. Today at bowling Owen was going through his own calming mechanism and counting down the balls once I told him how many he had left. That’s what keeps me going even on shaky knees. Things that we worked on months and even years ago are working. He’s growing and so am I, even though his growth is easier to accept. Be inspired by the world around you. Know that you can make a difference. And make today matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.