Tears For A Thoughtful Thursday

Owen came to my bed a little after four. He immediately started talking about going to school. I answered, it’s nighttime, get in bed with me, pulling him up as I was saying it. He was asleep again in a few minutes, but I could tell this was going to lead to a rough morning. I tossed, and turned for a bit, knowing sleep would be hard to come by. When it was time to get up, I laid there as long as I could. I wanted to shed the tears as soon as I got up. His cries for “sweep” got me immediately. Sometimes, he has a hard time processing his first moments when he wakes. I have a hard time, too. He generally wants the lights on when he first wakes, running through the house to turn them on. Today, he screamed from my bed, as I turned the kitchen light on. “No”, he yelled, “sweep”. He came to the light, flipping the switch, still screaming. I told him to go turn the other light on; hoping to distract him. I try to just keep moving forward. The screams get you, they come in droves, never knowing when the will start. We had to get ready for school. I hoped that if I kept talking to him he would calm, or maybe I would. Luckily, he wanted to go to school, but then he focused on what we would do after school. “Today is Monday”, he said. I told him it was Thursday. He wanted to go bowling, and to the coffee shop. I have a scheduler that shows the days of the week, months, weather, and other events we may be doing; like our bowling days. It has taken him months to even want to look at the calendar, and I know that he still doesn’t understand what it means. Yesterday, he sang “happy birthday dear Owen and fwiends”, followed by several Christmas tunes, and then wanting to talk about Santa being at the North Pole. The North Pole, for us, seems to be pretty busy these days. Anything he can’t see goes to the North Pole. I had told him he couldn’t see Santa at the store, until he came back from the North Pole. Now everything goes there. Some days my emotions run thick, sitting heavy on my heart. I look at Owen’s smile, and that gives me a whole new motivation. Find your passion, and keep moving forward. Smiles to all and donut daze!