I took Owen to the bus stop this morning. There wasn’t anything much different than most days, except there was very thick fog. I tried to explain the fog to him, I want to talk to him about everything, but how do I explain the fog, how do I explain these moments. Owen will repeat my words, and phrases, trying to express what he needs, or wants. Sometimes, I hear my impatientness in his voice; his tone mimicking my tones, and expressions. It snaps me to my core, realizing the way I say things are exactly how he hears it, reflecting my moments of calm, or stress. “In a few minutes” he will say. It’s amazing how many tones I actually say that in, and that Owen will express. When we got home today, Owen started asking to take a bath. He wanted it immediately, but then he started asking to paint. I got everything ready to paint, and his bath concerns resurfaced. He yells, “it’s Monday when de timer goes off you can take a baff in a few minutes”. The words went on, and the emotions got stronger, all while wanting to paint, and then when we were painting. I don’t know if you ever get used to the screaming. And in the middle of his screaming, that was on the verge of a meltdown, he says, “wanna hug”, leaning into me for a kiss. I gave him a kiss, telling him it’s Tuesday. He went on to say, “it’s Tuesday timer go off you get a baff”. There is this invisible line that I have to try, and find, keeping Owen on this side of the meltdown. What do you give into, reinforcing those behaviors, and what do you allow, so a meltdown doesn’t occur. The fine invisible line was successfully avoided, and we stayed on this side of the meltdown. Dinner is being eaten, and then bath time will be had. Today, I find strength in knowing we are making progress. Owen’s smiling, the thought of a meltdown gone for now. Life isn’t always easy to explain, but know that your story is important. It may be different than ours, but someone needs to hear it. Share your story, share ours, and make today matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.