Today, I called yet another doctor's office to get yet another appointment for yet another heartbreaking moment in time. I suppose I should think positive, it is what I always tell everyone, stay positive but yet my heart is there waiting for the disappointment. The more we go to doctors the more I wonder. I took Owen to a doctor's appointment 6 months ago with no conclusions, no suggestions except keep doing what I'm doing and I'll see you in six months. Why does it take doctors so long to diagnose autism? Why if they don't want to say it is autism why don't they say it is a brain delay and treat the symptoms. Oh, your son can't talk, well let's get him in this extreme therapy. Your son doesn't stop jumping, let's get him in occupational therapy or physical therapy. Well that hasn't happened. Why wait until they are three or older when they always say the early years are so important?
I wonder what the days ahead will bring. I see such progress in him. I see such an amazing spirit. I see my little boy growing up trying to get outside of the internal trap that has ahold of his words. I beg his brain set them free tonight, let him speak glorious words but yet I think when he said "a is fo APULL" those were the most amazing, beautiful words I have ever heard.
So today... I start and stop and cry!