It’s not even seven o’clock in the morning and I can tell you I’m ready for seven o’clock tonight. I slept better last night than I have in many, many nights, but if I could get a few more hours of sleep I might be feeling tired instead of zombie exhausted. Owen slept through the night, but he didn’t even make it until five so here we are. Autism is as much about how I handle it as it is about Owen having it. I have to remember I’m allowed to have emotions even though he does not think this is a good idea. He has emotions all day and many of them are fully backed by screams at the loudest decibels you can imagine, but my emotions are not something he wants me to have. The screams aren’t always mad screams, but nonetheless, they are loud. It’s noise constantly. Last night as Owen was taking his bath I was reminded again how he understands no danger. He wanted to stand up in the middle of his bath. I have to teach him safety and to be aware of his surroundings, but it’s not a concept he understands. At lunch, there was a tornado warning siren that they test every month going off. He’s heard it before, but today he ran from window to window telling me to “turn it offT”. How do I even explain this. “Grab a boat to sign in”, he randomly says all day. He says the word boat instead of “an adult”. One of the apps he uses goes through a sign in process and he doesn’t understand the concept of what an adult is so he says “boat”. Add in his comprehension skills and he’s still learning what it all means. I’m proud of how far he has come and the sky’s the limit for my sweet baby O. I changed his blanket last night when I changed the sheets on his bed. I didn’t even think about it because I had been washing his other one and putting it right back on. This did not go over well. He likes the texture of his blanket. The only difference one has been washed a lot more. I convinced him it was fine, somehow and he was able to sleep. Tonight he was fine with it, but it’s a reminder to me that I constantly have to keep things moving and changing for him, yet keep them as consistent as I can so it is all seamless. Today I learn, tomorrow I grow. Find your strength and keep moving forward. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.