“Socks in red and blue please in Portuguese”, Owen said to Siri. He was getting ready for school and he kept asking for different clothes in all the colors and all the languages he could think of. He was in a great mood before he went to school. We got ready and headed to the bus stop. We only were there a few moments before the bus turned the corner. The closer it came the happier he got. When the bus was almost near us he started leaning down, moving from foot to foot, and his smile told it all. I kept thinking, please, oh please dear Lord let the next few weeks go slowly. I don’t even want to think about him being done with school soon. He loves it so and is thriving with it. I’m hoping summer school will happen for him this year. I’m going to put that out of my mind. Every time I go to the bathroom Owen has to come to fix the door when I walk out. He has to line the door up so he can see the hallway through the bathroom. It doesn’t matter what he is doing he has to come to fix the door. I have been trying to cook more recipes that Owen can help with. I want to work on his fine motor skills and he loves watching kids’ cooking shows so I thought I would try this with him. Tonight we made a jello poke cake. He helped me mix all the ingredients, started the mixer for me, helped me stir, and even watched me pour the cake into the pan. I showed him that it was baking in the oven. While it was baking I had him help me stir the jello. He wasn’t exactly thrilled because he was “a’cooking” with the cooking show and I guess he didn’t want to do the a’baking with me. When the cake was done I had him poke the holes in the cake for the jello. He did it but he truly wanted to be watching cooking instead of actually baking. I think our next cooking adventure might be a crockpot meal this weekend if we don’t make it before. When he wanted to go back to watching the show he was getting very frustrated that I wanted him to help with the jello. He started jumping up and down, making the whole floor shake. He began singing, “rollie pollie it’s a rollie pollie and I’m bigger than this”. When he was very little I wanted to do everything in my power to keep him from having meltdowns. It was a song I created to take his mind off the meltdown. Then I would rapid-fire questions at him to distract him. He was so little and really couldn’t answer the questions but I knew I needed him to concentrate on something else. He now uses it as a calming mechanism in stressful moments. As the night came to an end he took his bath and then he wanted to play our directions game so I told him which way to turn to the bedroom. It’s straight and left. He wanted to turn right and run but hey we are making progress. I tell Owen that he gets to choose his attitude and from there we grow. We may not always be happy but that is always the goal to work towards. Find your inspiration and move forward. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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Where do I begin and what rollercoaster was I on. I’m not the world’s best handler of all things epically out of whack or emergencies or non-emergencies. But hey I smile a lot. Owen lost one of his baby teeth today. It was a baby tooth but I thought it was an adult tooth. He bit down on his tablet because he was mad at me for telling him to go potty and then he promptly said, “pull a tooth”. Oh boy. So a few minutes later he hands me his tooth. Quick dial to the dentist, we were there before five and on our way to McDonald’s for “chicken nuggets french fries happy meal apple juice cheeseburger please” within twenty minutes after we got there. We were in the drive-thru line longer than we were at the dentist. Thankfully his dentist completely understood my sense of emergency and saw us even though they were technically closed. I should have realized it was a baby tooth from the lack of blood but it all happened so fast. Owen did great for the dentist except he was mad because he thought we were going to see the trains and they wouldn’t let him restart their computer. Other than that he did amazing for the whole thing. When we got home with his happy meal he devoured it all. I would have to say he is growing again. The rest of the night went fast. He had me searching for videos in multiple languages and telling me about animals in Hindi. I’m amazed how many languages he is listening to daily and his comprehension level seems to be soaring with every video he watches. He was telling me about the camel and where it lives and asking me about an elephant. Luckily I knew the French word for elephant but I had to answer in English. When he took his bath we read one of his bath books. He propped his feet up on the edge of the tub, grabbed his book that was floating by, and read the page about shrimp. I do believe it’s his favorite page. He said, “seahorse shrimp and jellyfish eat the shrimp yum”. I think he’s like his momma and we like to talk about food. He fell asleep in my arms and all I could think about is what my baby taught me today. Sometimes you have to breathe and know that everything is going to be alright. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Be kind to your own heart and know that tomorrow is a brand new day. Smiles to all and donut daze!
All I ever wanted to be was a momma. I wanted to be just like my momma to be precise. I remember the moment they put Owen in my arms and I promised him I would be the best mommy I could be. He was my dream come true. This morning was probably one of the best mornings we’ve had in quite some time. Everything flowed from one moment to the next and he slept late, for us. I woke up and it was after five. I felt all around me and he wasn’t there. It always gives my heart a start when I can’t find him. And then I heard him stirring in his bed. A few minutes later he was beside me but then we slept another hour. Ahh, the glorious sleep. I’m still shocked but I’ll take it. His words had such clarity and meaning today, interchanging easily between English and so many of the other languages he knows. He was talking about one of our paintings and it had a bird on it. He listed off different birds and then started talking about a crow. “She is a crow” and then followed with “up in the sky”. I’m not sure what story he was referencing but I love when he explains what he is thinking about. He talked to Siri all morning. “Turn right that way in French”, he said. I thought oh we are in for it now. He is going to learn to tell me how to drive in all the languages. I heard him run to the living room when he was sitting on his swing. A few moments later he clomped past me in his bunny slippers. He wore them for a while and it was almost as quick as he put them on that he kicked them off his feet. The progress feels huge today. He asked to wear his new sandals and he then asked for them to be off immediately. Hey, I’ll take it. He had three pairs of shoes on in one day. Huge, huge, huge steps. He got a violin as a gift. He played it with me. I helped him move the bow but I think he gave me that look informing me that I didn’t know what I was doing and I was only making it squeak. He plucked the strings for several minutes and did a great job though. We made chocolate-covered strawberries tonight working on his fine motor skills. I want to keep encouraging his cooking skills as well. I may have to find recipes we can make with air and water if I keep eating all the desserts and he won’t eat any. My favorite part of my day though was when he wanted to see the fish. Although I felt like a fish out of water because I have hardly been to any stores since the pandemic started. I have all our groceries delivered and that helps me out tremendously. I took him to Cabela’s and before we walked to their big fish tank he walked up to one of the mannequins and put his hand in its hand. He said, “hi how are you today”. My sweet baby O is amazing. God gave me a beautiful gift. Yes, it’s Mother’s Day but I feel like he is the one that I should be celebrating. Find what makes your heart happy and go after your dreams. Smiles to all and donut daze!
A Saturday would not be complete if I didn’t wake before five and go to bed after midnight. The days blend into the night so easily. Owen woke in a great mood but it seemed to change after I suggested he try strawberries and sandals. I suppose I don’t blame him. I’ve never been a big fan of sandals and I only started appreciating strawberries in the last few years. With his breakfast this morning I asked him if he wanted to try a strawberry. He said, “no strawberry today”. I said, how about you try a bite. It’s a rule I have for him that he has to always try a bite and then he can decide if he likes it. I wasn’t going to push the strawberry though because he has tried one before and didn’t like it. But like all of us, he might change his mind. He got it to his lips and I knew what was coming next. “Throw it in the trash”, he said and he did, running away as he did it. He’s been asking for sandals, brown pants, and bunny socks for a while now. He watches videos and will show me something someone has on and then he starts asking for it. Shoes have always been hard for him. We go back and forth between shoes with velcro or shoelaces. The velcro upsets him if it curls up after a while and the shoelaces bother him if they don’t lay flat. I always want to give him more options of shoes so in case something happens to his one pair he will be able to transition easily. So sandals it was. His grandma got him three pairs to try. He saw them and he said, “no sandals today”. I had a feeling I might hear that. I told him he didn’t have to try them all but he could choose which pair he did want to try. He chose one, let me put them on, stood for me, and then declared, “no sandals today” once again. After that, he was supposed to go to grandma’s house but I was also directed to sit, he wanted no lights on, and he didn’t want to get dressed but he wanted to go to grandma’s. A couple of hours later we finally got there. When we came back home I watched in amazement as he stood in front of the turned-off television so he could see his reflection and took his shirt off, put it back on, took it off, and came running to me once he had it so twisted he couldn’t put it back on. We’ve been working on this skill but this was the first time he’s done it without me asking him to do it. The progress is amazing. As the day wore on he started yelling in the living room for his “furmonica furmonica furmonica”. I asked him if he wanted to play his harmonica. He said, “no” but then sat there for ten minutes playing away. There’s great joy in seeing the planted seeds grow right before my very eyes. Never give up on the miracles yet to come. Every day I see amazing changes in Owen and I can’t wait to see what my smiley boy brings us tomorrow. Dream big, follow your heart and know your dreams can come true. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I’m tired. So much progress still leaves me tired at the end of the day. And I’m wishing I had a pile of those cookies Owen and I made the other day but that cookie dreamboat already sailed the seas. I truly need to put sweets out of my mind again but one layer of stress on top of another layer of stress got me sitting in donut pajamas thinking about cookies, cakes, and all the donuts. Owen had a semi-okay day. Some moments better than others and some made me want to cry. In general, he handles rain better than me. In fact, he states, “I love puddles” anytime he sees water and it’s quite the declaration for many reasons. He often talks in the third person and his love for puddles is an understatement. He will seek them out to walk through them. But this morning he had no love for the rain that was going into the drains near the bus stop. He started yelling about them being vacuum cleaners and taking the water to the ambulance up in the sky. I want to hold back the tears but I can’t. In all of his words were emotions that I couldn’t help him connect. I knew it was hard on him because he didn’t even want to keep walking to the bus stop. Luckily a car turned the corner where his bus comes from and it was the little bit of distraction we needed. It broke the moment up for Owen and we were able to cross the street. This is why his words and connections are so important. I hear more rain as I write these words. It makes my tears fall harder. I made lasagna today and I wanted Owen to open the refrigerator door so I could put the leftovers in the refrigerator. I could have opened it but I am working with him on taking instructions and following through. I asked him to come open the refrigerator door. He first went to our front door. When I told him to come back to the kitchen he ran to the refrigerator but then he had to make sure “no shock today”. He is worried about static electricity and being shocked. We both are super magnets it seems and shock each other all the time. Plus he randomly will shock things. I showed him how to touch the wall and then something else, hoping this would help ease his anxiety about it. He touched the wall, then went to the cabinet not connected to the wall, and then opened the refrigerator not connected to the cabinet, but he opened it and ran off. I put the pan down after the five minute de-shock event. He did it though. He opened the door. I have to focus on the amazing progress he’s had this week. And that bright smile that brings me so much joy. At this moment next year I know I’ll look back and say look how far you’ve come. I bet he’ll be getting his own snacks right out of that refrigerator. Focus on the days ahead and make them the best yet. Smiles to all and donut daze!
Owen was happy about his day ahead. He was excited about school and he knew today was therapy day. We got to the bus stop and he wanted to know how to say “bus”, “stop sign”, and “drive” in Portuguese. When he watches videos I’m amazed at how much he comprehends in all the other languages and is able to tell me about what they are saying. When I picked him up from school I talked with his teacher for a few moments. We are trying to prepare him for summer break. My heart aches writing it out and looking at those words. Every single break is hard for Owen. I know how much he loves school and then when he can’t go it throws him into meltdowns and sadness. By approaching it differently I’m hoping that it will be better for him. His teacher said to us, sixteen more days of school and then you will be with mommy until August. We then discussed what he had for lunch and he told me “spaghetti”. When we got home from therapy I asked him what he wanted to give his teacher for Teacher Appreciation Week. He told me, “August”. We printed out a calendar for his teachers and he drew on them and I knew she would understand. I asked him what planet we live on and he said, “earth”. I asked him to name a gaseous planet, he said, “Uranus”. I went on to asked him which planet has rings. He replied, “Saturn” and I thought he going to start asking me questions I don’t know so I better stop. I asked him, what's your favorite instrument. He said, “drums and donut” and spelling out the word donut. When we talk about certain words or letters he always says more words that all begin with that letter. He still struggles with the sound of some letters so we work on those more. His progress is outstanding though and as he pointed up he said, “u p that spells up up in the sky a rocket a bird a plane” and I knew the sky is the limit for my sweet baby O. Never give up on the miracle yet to happen. It’s coming. Dream big and dream often for tomorrow’s a brand new day. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I think we both woke up a little cranky. I know I woke a lot sleepy but there are not enough hours in my day. How is that even possible but there just aren’t. Even though I think we were both cranky I saw a spark in Owen’s eyes and by the time he got to the bus he was ready to go see his beloved teacher. Riding on the bus is one of his top priorities as well. We stood at the bus stop and he was telling me which way the bus was going to go and he was also intermingling his words with other languages. He was pointing in the wrong direction and I asked him if he was sure his bus was going to go that way. He said, “nah not really” mimicking one of the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse characters as he said it. When he talks I hear my words spilling out of his mouth, sometimes it’s a character he likes, or from a video he’s watched. I’m always amazed when his words are all his. Makes me thankful. It’s happening more and more now. It’s such a joy to hear his voice. We made chocolate chip cookies today. At first, he wanted nothing to do with it, screaming about wanting his tablet. I had to get past it. He truly knows how to get what he wants and I have to always walk the line as to whether it’s attitude or meltdown worthy. It is so easy to go either way. And I don’t want it to be a meltdown. When he saw the egg he was ready to make some cookies. He watches kids’ cooking shows and he loves them. He will tell me what they are doing so I knew he would like to make them. It was like he had been baking all his life. I had the ingredients all ready to go so that he could pour each one in. When I was getting the chocolate chips he took a bite of the cookie dough. I was shocked. One tiny bite was enough for him. I don’t even know that he got any off the whisk but he put it to his mouth. It brought me back to my own childhood. He’s not a big sweets eater and didn’t even want to try one of the cookies when they were done. The bite I gave him was quickly thrown away. I was thrilled to make cookies with him. I was glad that after the initial bump in the road he enjoyed making them with me. I started playing a game with him to try and teach him right and left since he struggles with it. I have him stand in a spot and then I tell him to go straight, once he reaches a hallway or a room I will tell him to go right or left, and then he moves forward. He still calls everything right mostly but he is going the directions I tell him so I think it’s starting to click. Progress is happening and I’m thankful for the steps he is taking. I sat eating our cookies tonight as I wrote about our day and it made the day even sweeter to my soul. Life isn’t always about how fast you get through the journey but about the steps you take to get there. Smiles to all and donut daze!
Owen fell asleep a lot quicker tonight than he did last night. It seems we were both in slow motion this morning when we woke. If only we could get one full night of sleep how fantastic would that be, I think. And I know it’s not going to happen any time soon. Owen is wanting to pick out his clothing more and more, telling me what color shirt he wants to wear, and it continues with his pants, socks, and shoes. It’s so amazing to watch him discovering life. I need to find a way to make it easier for him to pick out his shirts, pants, and socks. His shoes I keep by the door on our coat rack. He has three pairs to choose from now but he still goes for the blue pair. I have to overthink the options of how best to group Owen’s shirts, pants, and socks for the day. This requires an organizational level I haven’t quite mastered yet. His dresser is hard for him to open so putting everything in his drawers doesn’t seem the best way for him. Hanging is an option but then getting everything off the hanger seems like it would be hard for him right now. I feel like it needs to be more like in an armoire with shelves but I’m sure I’ll figure out a reason that wouldn’t work too. I think I’ll save that for a rainy day or at least when I’ve had more coffee. When he got home from school he started walking around talking about his eyebrows and buffalo in Korean, wearing his bunny slippers, clomping about laughing hysterically holding his tablet to his ear that had Mickey Mouse going and not at all related to what he was talking about. After a while, he sat down asking Siri how to say everything he could think of in what are his go-to languages right now. He goes through cycles but now he is sticking mostly with Korean, Arabic, French, Russian, and Portuguese. However, when he is watching videos it seems like he is watching Hindi, Norwegian, and German. I believe maybe Dutch but I’m not sure what the actual language is. I’m guessing only because of the title. I’m still amazed at how much he understands because he will tell me in English what he is watching. I got him a new easel that has a chalkboard on one side and a whiteboard on the other. It was so exciting to watch him take the marker and draw, changing back and forth with his left and right hands. When he moved to the chalkboard he drew “baby red bird up in the sky”, telling me how the bird flew “up up and away”. The joy comes in knowing that tomorrow I get to see my baby grow again. I remind Owen every day to believe in himself, that he can do anything if he sets his mind to it and believes. I know he is my miracle and I am thankful for all he has taught me. You only get as far as you are willing to go. Believe in yourself and keep moving forward. Smiles to all and donut daze!
Owen feels like he has matured overnight. The tent for his bed hasn’t helped him sleep any better but he still loves it. He woke to come find me and I didn’t get much sleep after that. I’m always torn. I keep hoping that each night will be the night he sleeps all through the night. I could let him sleep in my bed all night or I could sleep in his but if you have ever seen an octopus carrying 14 pizzas while walking on stilts and talking to everyone they meet while walking their dog that’s how Owen sleeps. One day I’ll get this figured out. When he woke for the day he listened well. He knew he had to get ready for school and quickly did all the steps. I got a great report from his teacher today. I love that she sees such growth in him. We had a therapy session for him tonight and he was so patient as we waited. Instead of using his tablet the whole time he talked with me and answered some questions. It felt great. When we came home he got a little anxious as we went through each of the lights. I reminded him that mommy was driving and we would home soon. He had done so well at the appointment I didn’t want the trip home to make the evening hard. Luckily we made it home before he got completely upset. When we left for the appointment he hit his hand on the door or maybe on the wall. He cried out in pain holding his hand. He immediately started saying “be careful did you hurt yourself are you ok I’m fine I’m fine” but clearly he was in pain. I heard all of my words pouring out of him as he was standing there almost on the verge of tears. I held him for a minute trying to figure out what he did and what part of him was hurting. He held out his finger to me. I saw no blood or scratches. Maybe he jammed it or hit it hard enough it was stinging him as he stood there. After a few more minutes he was ready to go again. He didn’t mention it the rest of the night so I think it was more of a shock to him. As much as I hate seeing him hurt I’m thankful for his words and that he could at least show me his finger. I know it’s all coming together for him. Every day I see how far he has come. When we got home I asked him what he wanted for dinner. He told me shrimp. We sat together eating dinner and he ate all of his shrimp and most of the ones I made for me. My sweet baby O is growing right before my eyes. It took him hours to fall asleep tonight, tossing and turning before he finally did. My heart does little flips with him, praying for peace and comfort all night for my baby. His smile and laughter fill my heart with joy. Look for the bright side of life and keep moving forward. Smiles to all and donut daze!
Today felt like a good day to have one of those great days. Sure we had our moments but those moments even lead to victories. I have to say Owen amazes me more and more every day. He was watching a video and it was in Hindi. It was about a bee. I said, “what is the bee doing” and he said, “flying to the flowers his home is a hive”. Then he said something and I can only assume it was in Hindi or another language. Tears are forming in my eyes thinking about the little boy that would hardly look at me and the doctors told me he might not ever talk. He does talk and not only does he talk but he sings and speaks in more languages than I can even imagine. And in full sentences. That’s the beauty of the internet. My son is teaching himself every language he comes across from the whole wide beautiful world. And the exciting part is he is understanding what he is saying and able to tell me what is happening right on the screen in front of him. I’m watching this amazing miracle unfold in front of me. This morning he helped me make chocolate covered pretzels. He stood there holding the pretzel rods with me as we dipped them in the chocolate. He even tried one. He’s not a big sweets eater even though chocolate milk is his favorite drink. He ate some of the chocolate though. We’ll try other varieties and other options. Chocolate chip cookies are next on our list. He loves watching cooking shows so I thought we should start making more things together. We had barbecue sandwiches for dinner. I’m trying to teach him how to eat a sandwich without squishing it. Who doesn’t want to squish a sandwich but he sat there eating it after he took one side of the bread off. I was surprised he was eating the barbecue and then to not put it in his hair was one of my big blessings for the day and even bigger was it didn’t go in his toes. We sat and laughed a lot today. He played with his rollercoasters. He asked me for things with manners. And he fell asleep in my arms under his tent. We chose to count our blessings. And we can count them one by one. My miracle smiles back at me every day. Find your blessings and know that you are worthy of every single one of them. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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AuthorI'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart. Archives
May 2024
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