In a few words or less Owen had my emotions churning. This pandemic has been hard on all of us but I think about my sweet baby O and my eyes fill with tears. He doesn’t get it, he doesn’t get it at all. How could he. One minute every single day is filled with activities, therapies, events, and fun, and then the next day nothing, absolutely nothing. We still aren’t over the hump but at least we are doing a few things. But his routine, his activities they all haven’t returned yet and I’m not sure when they will. One of his new doctor’s offices is by the bowling alley that we spent every single Saturday at. I worried when we started going for the appointments that it would trigger emotions for him that he wouldn’t be able to handle or I couldn’t explain why we still weren’t going. Last night he cried out for his previous teacher, today he kept saying, “I’m not going bowling today”. I told him that we weren’t going bowling but we would try to go soon. When is soon going to be I wondered, wanting to cry for the routine Owen so desperately wants back and needs. He had a relatively calm day otherwise. A few moments here and there with pumped-up emotions and screams for one reason or another. I helped him keep on top of the meltdowns but he’s back to biting and pulling my hair to settle himself if we don’t stop them. We did a lot of counting and our breathing techniques to keep us moving forward. As the day turned into night he kept saying, “two more minutes”. Even though I hadn’t mentioned bedtime he knew it was fast approaching and he wanted to stay up as long as possible. We went through our routine, quiet time, supplements, bath time, bedtime, dog books in the bed, music relaxation video, and today’s countdown to sleep was him naming every possible shape he could come up with. The trapezoid, rhombus, and parallelogram are some of his favorites to talk about. And I’m always thinking square, I’m good at squares. He drifted off to sleep and my thought was when will he wake up to start his day, scratch that, our day. Through tired eyes, I heard his joys, saw his big smile, and was amazed at all the phrases he can now say in Japanese, Chinese, and Korean. Focus on the journey ahead and make your dreams come true. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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