Some days my mind doesn’t stop because it is constantly being questioned by Owen. How do I stop the train I often wonder. He slept ok but he woke with lots of opinions and anxiousness. We got ready to go to the bus stop but he couldn’t process all the steps he had to do. I always have him get his shoes and try to put on his clothes. He wanted nothing to do with the steps. I got him dressed because I can only wait so long for him to do the steps before we are late for the bus. When he got home from school he immediately started talking about the week ahead. He wanted to confirm what he was doing. That seemed to go on all night. And if he wasn’t confirming what his schedule was like he was telling me who he wasn’t seeing. It feels like the more his communication skills grow the more he shares memories from years before. It’s like he is now able to tell me what he did when he was two so he goes over all those memories. It fascinates me that he still likes the same Mickey Mouse Clubhouse episodes he liked when he was little. He watches them in every language he can find too. He was watching a video and he brought it to me. He wanted me to ask Siri for other videos from Hong Kong. He then put the video on the tv and immediately started laughing at what they were saying. He then came to me asking me to find nursery rhymes in Arabic. The night went on like this. When I got him in bed he was very agitated. “Blanket please”, he said to me. The blanket was completely wrapped around him and over his head. He started yelling it. I told him we don’t yell at each other. He yelled louder. I asked him what he wanted me to do since he already had the blanket on him. He was not pleased with this question. After a while he let me hold him and he quickly fell asleep. Some days my emotions scream for understanding from Owen. We had a fun night even though he was on edge. We played several games together and sang songs in numerous languages. Well, I listened to him sing them. He gave me a “big hug” tonight and for that I am grateful. My sweet baby O is growing up so fast. Tomorrow is a brand new day, rejoice, and share your smile. Smiles to all and donut daze!
“Yeehaw”, Owen exclaimed. So this is going to be fun. He doesn’t quite understand how much joy that him yelling out random yeehaws delights me. We slept better than most nights but still not completely. He was ready for school though. We got dressed quickly even though his “blue pants” were too blue. He left with a spring in his step and a “yeehaw” as we walked out the door to the bus. When he got home from school he was very clingy. He wanted to go everywhere we hadn’t been in a while and he wanted to discuss people I couldn’t even imagine he remembered. It’s amazing how much he remembers. For the first hour he was home he was concerned that I was going to take him to the “baby scissors baby sister babysitter” he had to work through to the actual name. He made sure I knew he wasn’t going. After a while, it all ramped back up again. He starting listing off the names of people he hasn’t seen in six years. How he even remembers them all I don’t know. He wanted to sit with me and any time I got up he would tell me to sit. He got up a few times and then would run back to make sure I was sitting. Sometimes I think as much as he likes to go places it can also be very overwhelming for him. He didn’t want dinner at first but the longer the night wore on he ate. He sang for me tonight, even letting me sing a little with him. He asked me when he was going to see his teacher and friends again. He has to be reassured of everything. When he got ready for bed he got his second wind for a few minutes and took off running around the house after his bath. He settled down quickly but he couldn’t decide which shirt he wanted to wear to bed. He got mad because the same shirt he wore to school was not ready for him to wear tomorrow. Luckily I convinced him to wear something else. He got into bed and immediately started reciting word for word the conversation he had with Alexa earlier. He said, “Humpty Dumpty in Russian Alexa” and immediately belted out into the Russian version of Humpty Dumpty. And with that, he fell asleep. I’m thankful for his inspiration. Find your inspiration and rock your world. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I wanted the day to be very laidback for Owen after his emotional Saturday. Turns out he was very much in tune with my emotions. We slept like we generally sleep but he woke with a purpose and that purpose was going to “church church church”. Clothes have become an obsession again, however, now it’s not only my clothes but his as well. I got ready for church and my jeans were jeans instead of being “not black not pink not tan”. And his jeans were not jean enough. This all caused him to beat his foot on the ground and tell about what I should be wearing which was exactly what I was wearing, jeans. Going to church he could tell I was getting sad and he said, “she crying”. I wasn't at the time but this seemed to help him be a little more in control of his emotions and he started talking about animals. When we left church he was mostly happy but once again he wanted me to turn right at the kangaroo. He went on to talk about “there’s no lion there’s no walrus there’s no hippopotamus”. I feel like I’m on a safari but I really don’t know where we are going. The highlight of my day was when he started yelling, “yeehaw”. He was watching a YouTube video that explained how to play a game and the guy kept saying it. It became the go-to word of the night. As it got closer to bedtime he started mentioning all the different steps we take and said, “two more minutes”, his usual delay tactic. He can tell his schedule without even knowing what the actual time is. He can feel it. He fell asleep quickly in my arms and was ready for school tomorrow. I hope tonight is the night he can sleep. Find your strength, keep moving forward, and know that you are important. Smiles to all and donut daze!
Some days the rollercoaster ride seems like it will never stop. Owen woke in the middle of the night but once he got back to sleep we both slept late for us. Well, a little after six feels late for us. He woke in a great mood and he had the day planned but what you plan at six in the morning is not what always happens at the end of the day. Sometime between wake up and time to go to grandma’s he became a little agitated. He was having a hard time processing what was happening. He was still in a great mood but he kept asking for “two more minutes”. I didn’t want to push him because sometimes that makes it harder on him. He did pretty well on the way to see grandma. I asked him which way he wanted to go since he wasn’t yelling at me. When we got there he seemed like he was a little more on edge. He told me goodbye but when I came to pick him up my mom told me he was having a hard time. My heart breaks in these moments. I hate that it can be so hard for my sweet baby O. He had told my mom he wasn’t going bowling but he also told her he wanted to go bowling. As soon as he saw me he said, “want to go bowling or want to go home go home”. I asked him if he was ready to go bowling and he said, “go home”. Some days I push it. He had told me one of the previous times he didn’t want to go but it was more reactionary than processing. This I could tell he was really struggling with. We didn’t go. He wanted to go home and as soon as we got in the car to leave he started telling me the directions for home. He did great on the ride home except when I “didn’t turn right at the kangaroo”. Once we were home he was joined to my hip. He ate some veggie chips my mom gave him that were triangle shaped. When they were gone he asked for more veggie straws but as soon as he realized I actually put straws on his plate and not the triangles he said, “more veggie triangles please”. I was excited that he asked for them like that. It always makes me happy when he can verbalize exactly what he wants. I told him he ate all of the other ones and he went back to munching away on the straws. Once he got into bed I could hear all his words jumbled together, pouring out of him as quickly as possible. He screamed about “where’s Mickey Mouse” and I told him we would see him tomorrow. He then went on about all the driving directions and started crying, sobbing, “I didn’t go straight”. He finally fell asleep in my arms and all I kept thinking is why does it have to be so hard on him. I kissed his forehead, told him I loved him, and tomorrow will be a brand new day. Find your strength, push forward, and know that you are not alone. Smiles to all and donut daze!
Some days you have to believe in the hope of tomorrow and set your sights on that moment. Yesterday is written in stone so we must focus on our future. Sure I look back at the past, sometimes even dwelling too much on it but moving forward is what we have to do. I look back over the years and think about the moment that may have changed our lives. I took Owen off of gluten and dairy when he was little. He now has them back in his diet but taking him off dairy is what I think was the biggest change for him. I’ll never know but for us, I feel it was the right choice. I look back at the video of him being able to say the letters as he pulled them out of the box is all the proof I need. And now today I can’t tell you how many languages he speaks. He’s still making connections to all his words but I think about how far he has come. He woke at some point in the night but he went right back to sleep when he came to me. When it was time to get up for school he immediately started talking about “two more minutes”. He didn’t want to get up yet. However, he did want to go to school and was very vocal about it. The bugs were making way too much noise for him and he wanted me to “turn the bugs off”. He picked up my hand and moved it in the direction of the window. I told him that I couldn’t turn them off but he doesn’t understand that. I remember telling my Grammy so many times that the bugs were too loud. I remember I would call her late at night or early in the morning complaining about the bugs waking me up. His words reminded me of those times with my Grammy. She told me there was nothing we could do about them. She didn’t care what time you would call her she was always up or ready to talk. We didn’t have much time so we got ready and quickly headed to the bus stop. He wanted to walk in every which direction but he was happy to be going to school. We stood there for a couple of minutes and then his bus arrived. The smile he had was contagious and off he went to see his teacher and friends. When he came home from school the night went fast. We played some games together, ate dinner, and he helped me paint. Getting ready for bed was not the option Owen wanted but he fell asleep quickly once we got there. I’m thankful he had a good day and I pray tonight is the night he sleeps. Go after your dreams and change your world. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I didn’t think I could be any more exhausted until I realized how exhausted I was. I heard this noise but in my fog of sleep, I didn’t know what it was at first. It got louder and louder and then I realized Owen was awake and had the tv on, watching one of the apps he likes to play on YouTube. I opened my eyes enough to see that I didn’t want to know what time it was. I yelled out to Owen to come here. I heard “no” from the other room. I didn’t want to get up. I tried again. I told him it was nighttime and he needed to turn the tv off and go back to bed. Well, surprisingly he turned it off, got his tablet, and went to his room. A few moments later I realized how loud tablets could be. He was in his room but he had his tablet turned all the way up. Oh, how I wish they would either make tablets with parental volume controls or an app that actually works to limit the volume. By this time I was pretty much completely awake so I got up to go to the bathroom, and make sure he turned his tablet down. When I got to his room he was belting out a tune, singing with Alexa. I told him to turn it down and try to go back to sleep. We still had several hours to go before it was time for him to go to school. I tried to fall back asleep but I kept hearing him talk to Alexa, asking her all kinds of phrasing in different languages. It was finally time to get up and he was still in his room. I was surprised he stayed in there. When it was time to walk to the bus stop he was ready to get dressed however he did not like the particular “blue jeans” I had picked out for him but he did put them on. He thought they were too dark. I was able to convince him they were the same color as mine and he put them on. I knew my boy was ready to go to school. He was also ready to go to “therapy therapy therapy”. He told me “mommy gonna pick me up mommy going to pick me up”. He’s still working on sentence structure and often will say phrases multiple ways. When I picked him up from school his teacher said he had a great day. It’s always music to my ears. We got in the car and off we went. He was very calm the whole ride there, only telling me a few times the way to go. He had another great session and then we came home. The night went quickly and he wanted to sit with me on the couch playing his video games and more singing. Him singing and not me of course. I’m thankful for a good day for him. I’m hoping h sleeps through the night since he woke up so early. Never give up on the hope of tomorrow. Find your strength and keep pushing forward. Smiles to all and donut daze!
Sometimes one moment of your day makes you look back, take a big breath, and say thank you God for all you have done for me. Owen woke ready for school. He also woke ready to tell me he was going to pull my hair but didn’t. He says it in a matter of fact way because we’ve discussed it so many times. It’s the confirmation he isn’t going to do it by telling me he is going to pull it. He will also say, “stop pulling my hair” even though he is not pulling my hair or someone is not pulling his hair. He does this with phrases he is trying to process or relate to. He can also recite word for word commercials, videos, or songs that he listens to. Add in that he can also do it in numerous languages. He stood near the air vent and said, “winter is hot summer is cold”. He went on to talk about fall and spring and how fall will be hot and spring will be cold. This is where I have to follow exactly what he is talking about in the moment. Because he was standing near the air vent I knew he meant the air that comes from the vents during each of the seasons. We had the same conversation for days and days and days when winter turned to spring and the cold air was coming from the vents. In winter he loved sitting on the vents much to my dismay so he was not happy when cool air started coming out instead. When he came home from school he was happy when he got off the bus and then he heard the birds. “Birds make noise”, he said, “turn them off” he continued. I told him that I couldn’t turn them off they were the baby birds that lived on our roof. He walked up the steps talking about all the other outside noises including that the “stop sign make noise”. He goes through spurts where the noises bother him and other times he doesn’t pay any attention to them at all. He doesn’t like headphones or anything on his ears. Plus any noises that he does want to hear he will turn up so loud I can’t even imagine. Once we got inside the outside world didn’t bother him even though we could still hear it. He moved on to watching videos about the apps he likes to play. He ate a big dinner and requested more. He wasn’t ready for bath time even though he asked Alexa for thirty minutes to say “I want a bath please in Russian” changing the languages every few times. I’m thankful he had a good night. After his bath, he ran to play his keyboard for a few minutes. I told him to go get in bed and he said, “good night piano good night Alexa stop” and off he ran to bed. Today is a moment in time but tomorrow the possibilities are endless. Smiles to all and donut daze!
There are days when I feel like I’m running in circles and I’m sitting down. Owen woke at some point and got into bed with me. If he could give me more than a sliver of the bed I might not mind it so much but he likes to have his head right in my neck or at least his head on my pillow. I’m like dude I gave you the comfy pillow for that reason. I get it, he needs to have that input but I wish he understood a little bit more about personal space, especially when I’m sound asleep. He woke seemingly a little more confused than most mornings. He wanted to go to school but then he was really upset about going to school. I told him he would miss seeing his teacher and friends if he didn’t go. That changed his tune. He said, “tell the bus driver hi”. I got his jeans because “no camo today” was said multiple times. But when I got his jeans they were too blue. They were a darker shade of blue. I had gotten them over the weekend and they were brand new to him, and way too dark. He yelled out, “no black pants blue pants”. I told him they weren’t black they were blue but he got more upset. Back to the drawer they went and I got him another pair. I didn’t want a tailspin to turn into a meltdown over these jeans. Some days he is a little more relaxed about it and other days blue jeans are blue jeans. He then turned his attention to the fact that I wasn’t wearing the approved blue jeans either. I had leggings on instead. This also did not go over well with him. I told him that it was fine and we had to hurry to get ready to go. He got distracted when I mentioned his teacher again. We got to the bus stop with him wanting Siri to answer tons of questions. His smile was huge when he saw the bus turn the corner. When he came home from school he seemed calmer than he was in the morning. We laughed a lot. He has been asking about going to see the horses but he says, “horses no horses” and it’s hard for me to tell if this is a yes, no, or maybe. He asked Siri and Alexa to say every animal he could think of in all the languages. “Iguana in Arabic”, he yelled out, laughing hysterically as he heard Alexa and Siri competing to get the words out quicker. I asked him what he wanted for dinner and he said, “no walrus for dinner please” and I couldn’t argue with that. He thought it was hilarious and then started telling me other animals he didn’t want for dinner. It didn’t take much to convince him it was bath time and then he fell asleep quickly. I pray tonight is the night for sleep. I’m thankful for his laughter. Dream big and follow your heart. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I suppose we slept a little better than most nights and I’ll just move forward. Owen woke with a purpose, school. He got a little sidetracked about his tablet but school was where he wanted to go. He talked all the way to the bus stop about the moon. He didn’t think it was supposed to be there at that time and then he told me about the planets, listing several of them and what they are made of. He was excited about seeing his friends and to “tell the bus driver hi”. He knew that we were going to the park when he got home from school. I try to give him a little independence as we walk but I’m also always on the alert that he might run. He likes to push the boundaries. He also likes to see my reactions. When we get to the bus stop he wants to ask Siri how to say different phrases in numerous languages. He asked her, “I want chocolate milk please in Arabic”, telling me that it was a man that was speaking. He went on to ask her several other questions as his bus turned the corner. He ran up the bus steps and off he went. Immediately when he got home from school the firsts words out of his mouth when he got off the bus were “the park let’s go to the park”. I told him we were going to eat a snack and then go. The ride to the park was another story. The stoplights were not our friends. And he kept yelling at every streetlight “lamp it’s a lamp not a lamb lamp not a lamb lamb is a lawnmower”. This is where everything gets blurred for me. He is referencing a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse with the lawnmower but I’m not sure why he goes back and forth with lamp and lamb except maybe because of sounds and learning the words. When we got to the park it was hot and Owen had one destination on his mind, the slide that gives mommy a heart attack. He can read me like a book and he can tell I get anxious when he is on it. He likes to hang off of it, leaning over the edge, or not moving from the steps. He wouldn’t go down it and another little boy wanted to go on it. He finally came down the steps instead of going down the slide. The park didn’t last long between it being so hot and him wanting to go hang out on the slide. Before bedtime, he was sitting on the couch. I was in the other room and he said, “sit with mommy please”. Yes, my sweet baby O I will come to sit with you I told him. I’m thankful for his laughter and the sparkle in his eyes. Find your strength, push forward, and know that you can accomplish great things. Smiles to all and donut daze!
Who needs sleep, really. Owen came to my room maybe around two. I was way too exhausted to even attempt to get him back to his bed. I swear he is one with an octopus. I don’t know how he can take up so much room, pull the tiniest of my hairs in his sleep, and make so much noise but there we were. He woke extremely rested and happy it was “church day church day” and I was happy it was church day but I’m still exhausted thinking about the sleep I didn’t get. He did pretty well listening to me this morning as we had to get ready for church. He asked me the weekly questions that he always asks me when we go anywhere. He wants to make sure I have gas and I have money. I often wonder how much he understands about it but I always try to explain that gas makes the car go “vroom” and we need money to buy things that he wants like chicken nuggets. When we were in the car he said, “I get to see my friend Alex tomorrow”. My heart is full. He actually said a full sentence expressing his feelings. He was telling me about riding the bus and seeing his bus drivers. He went on to talk about his teacher and aide, plus, the rest of his friends. On the way home from church, he was very calm but once again referenced “turning right at the kangaroo”. He gets very adamant about it but I still don’t know what he means. It’s in the same area every time but at home, he will say things like, “this old man not kangaroo” and other similar sayings. I made pork chops for my lunch after getting him his requested chicken nuggets. I always have him try a bite of different foods and then he can decide if he likes it. He ate a small bite and said, “no more please” which I thought was wonderful. I didn’t think he would like the kind I made, especially since he hadn’t had it before but I was glad he still tried it and had great manners about it. I was very proud of how he listened today for the most part, except at church when he wanted to run all through the building. Hopefully, tonight will be the night he sleeps all night again. Or at least shares my bed and not taking it all. He fell asleep talking about school tomorrow and seeing his friend at the park after school. I love these connections he is making. Find your inspiration and watch your world grow. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.