I prayed the change in Owen’s routine yesterday did not disrupt his sleep and thankfully he slept all night. My sleep however seems to be fleeting. He woke up talking about Halloween and continued to talk about it until the bus picked him up and took him to school. He said that he wanted to go trick or treating but that surprised me. Going door to door would be hard for him. Maybe next year this will be something he wants to try. When we were waiting for the bus to pick him up, he started talking about missing his vision therapy yesterday and I knew he wanted to make sure his routine stayed the same for his other days ahead. It’s hard to confirm every day ahead when you never know what might change it, but I told him that his routine would be the same for tomorrow and we would be talking about the days. I also learned the answer to the question is yes Owen knows Old Macdonald Had A Farm in Spanish. I didn’t doubt that he knew how to sing a song in Spanish, but I’m always amazed at how much she knows. When he came home from school. He was very calm but wanted nothing to do with going to trick-or-treat. he was ready for a snack, and to talk about the next few days. That’s the ripple effect of not getting his routine on the days that he expects it to be a routine. I can definitely tell he is growing again because food was consumed in great quantities. He was still concerned about his loose tooth, and I hope that it will be out soon. He was very concerned that his Thursday and Saturday were going to get changed so he kept asking about the days ahead. I tried to reassure him as best as possible but it’s still hard when you don’t know when something might change. He wanted a very quick bath so that he could go back quickly to his tablet. He only had a couple of minutes, but he was then ready for bed. Once again, he was out without too many minutes passing by. I’m thankful for the month of October, and all of the progress we have made. I’m thankful for how much he has enjoyed Halloween and all the little things that have led up to this. Each one of those steps has led to one of our greatest victories. I’m hoping that our November days will be exciting to him and maybe do some of the different activities that I am trying to plan. Hopefully, tomorrow goes according to his plan and the rest of the week stays the same as well. Each day is a gift and I’m thankful for how Owen is growing. Find your strength, share your story, and know that you are important. Smiles to all and donut daze!

It always seems by the end of the day there are things I should have figured out by the middle of the day. When you are the queen of overthinking it happens. Owen thankfully slept all night. Me not so much. If I’m not waking myself up everything else wakes me up. I suppose it is from years of Owen waking up three, four, or more times in the night. He woke up hungry and consumed with his day ahead which also included his tooth being loose. He wanted me to make him breakfast but he also wanted me to “sit on the white bed.” He tells this to me a lot. He wants me to do something but he has a hard time processing it. He ate most of what I made for him and we had a couple minutes to get out to the bus. When we were waiting for the bus he wanted to play a game with me. He hasn’t wanted this in quite some time. Off he went to school knowing I was going to pick him up for music therapy. It was raining most of the day so I made sure I left early to get him. His teacher said he had a good day, except that he was concerned about his tooth. I figure it has a couple more days before it comes out. He did great at music therapy. His therapist said he likes to make up different variations of what she is doing. We got home and he had a snack. I had a mop bucket sitting there, and I went to the bathroom. I came out and he was standing in the mop bucket with his pants completely soaked. We then had to change his clothes before we could go to his vision therapy. This made us leave about five minutes later than we normally would have. The traffic was backed up and every way I tried to go it was stopped traffic. There was no way we were going to make it in time. We still had a mile to go and we were already fifteen minutes past our time. I had let them know that we were running late and the traffic was completely at a stop. Owen was having a huge meltdown over the stop-and-go traffic. I let them know that we weren’t going to make it and I got him chicken nuggets for the ride home. He was trying to process that we were not going to go to his session and kept saying that the doctor was busy. After we got home, he was much calmer, but it still took a while for him to realize and be OK with the fact that we were not going to his vision therapy. The night was full of music and song. He did not want to go to bed and once again told me that he would go to bed next week. But as soon as his head hit the pillow he was out quickly. I’m praying that he sleeps all night and I’m thankful that this is another growing experience for him even though it was difficult. I pray as time goes on he will understand that and we can’t always control the traffic or our circumstances but we need to learn how to process it and breathe through the moments. I’m thankful that he was able to still have a great evening and he’s ready for his Tuesday. Believe in yourself and the rest will follow. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Sleep is a glorious thing. Owen slept all night and even woke up late. Mud can wear a boy out. And waking up at two the night before added to that I’m sure. I wish I could have slept at the right times. I fell asleep pretty much when he did but then I woke up and couldn’t fall back asleep. He probably would have slept later if I hadn’t had to go to the bathroom. He woke with the mission of the day “church church church.” Then he realized it was “trunk or trick” day but he quickly walked through this. I can tell he is making more connections to Halloween. He said, “Trick or treat trick or treating trick or trunk or treat.” He quickly went back to talking about church and who he was going to see. He asked about November and when that was going to happen. We’ve talked about November and that we will celebrate Thanksgiving. I explained that during the month of November, we will find things to be thankful for and people to appreciate it. I want him to understand what kindness and grace mean in the light of our thankfulness. We got ready for church and I put tan shorts on him. He said, “Mud I get to play in mud.” This is where I said I’m not sure if we will find mud because it hasn’t rained that much yet. I sat in church watching the leaves fall outside while I was listening to the message. The beauty in that moment wasn’t lost on me. Each leaf was part of our story. There is so much beauty and wonder in our lives. We don’t always have the answers but we can find solutions in the connections we make and the lessons we learn. And Owen is making so many of those connections. He knew we were going to church, eating lunch, playing for a little while, getting his costume on, and then going back to church. He went over and over each step. I wanted to get there early so he could get comfortable with everything but we didn’t get there as early as I wanted because he had to get his Robot BeatBo before we could leave. He was ready but he had to go through the steps again before we walked out the door. I’m not quite sure when his toy became part of his Halloween dreams but it very much was part of his mission for the day until it wasn’t. The line to get in was longer than he would have liked to park but he did fine. From there we walked the whole parking lot looking for a princess and a place to hide Robot BeatBo. We found neither so then he decided he wanted to hide it in the door inside the elevator but got sidetracked by the bouncy house and slides, plus that rock pit that wasn’t technically part of the Halloween attractions. We had four teenagers that helped run after him. He proclaimed “lay down” numerous times and did. He had a lot of fun but I could tell he was very overstimulated. I told him to count to ten and he did. Then he told me to do it in Spanish and I said go right ahead. He proceeded to tell me something in Spanish and then counted. He was going to go on the slide one more time but decided he didn’t want to wait and instead was ready to go see the statue, burger boy, and the school he had never attended. We then came home and it was bath time, which he said he was not taking until next week, and then we ate dinner. I think he was asleep before his head even hit the pillow. I’m thankful for a good day even with a few of the hiccups we had. Halloween has now become something my son looks forward to and that makes my heart happy. Live in the moment, learn from your past, and know that today is your day to let it all go. Smiles to all and donut daze!

The two o’clock party train left the station early but Owen was happy to start our day. He has it on his mind about all the events over the next few days and that it will be November soon. He also was beyond excited to get to Grandma’s house. I had fallen asleep after one so my eyes had pretty much just shut when he came around the corner to tell me it would be November soon. There was no use trying to convince him to go back to sleep but that’s what my brain always tells me to try. He said tablet and I said bed. He started asking when he was going to see his grandma and we still had about seven hours at this point. When you are up at two in the morning you eat a lot of breakfasts and after number three we finally got going. It was looking like Owen’s dream of a rainy day was going to come true and I could tell he was already plotting his adventure to the park. I dropped him off at his grandma’s house and I plotted to see if there were any places he might want to go that were having fall or Halloween festivals, knowing that mud would probably win. When I went to pick him up I asked him if he wanted to put on his costume and go to another trunk or treat or a fall festival. He said, “Little park.” This boy was on a mud mission which I was fine with. Technically I am also very fine without any mud ever but it’s an incredible joy to see him loving the rain and mud. He asked his grandma to go with us and she met us at the park. He jumped in the puddles and asked her to jump with him. She told him she could stick her toe in but she didn’t have the right shoes to jump with him. He jumped with her right there and got water spots all over her “blue pants” that he wants her to wear every time he sees he. He glared a little at first and squinted his eyes but then he jumped again and that was it, lots of spots on grandma. Our miracle moment. Puddles spots on someone else’s clothes and still no meltdown. Beyond thankful for these days. We left the park with acorns, mud, and water in his shoes and one very happy momma. I asked him if he wanted something to eat on the way home and he said no until we got home and then he said pizza so I told him we could get it one day next week. The joy from these incredible moments is what carries me through our days. Our victories were strong today. And through tired eyes, I rejoice even with the other parts of the bumpy road. Find your victories, celebrate them big, and know that they are important. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Routine is probably at the top of the list for what Owen wants but I think it is followed closely by location, location, location. It has always been interesting to me how he can do something at one place and not want to do it at another. It can be very situational. My mom would make food and Owen wouldn’t eat it at her house but she would send it home with us and he would eat it at our house. His teacher told me he had fun today but he didn’t want to wear his costume. It’s interesting because he told me to make sure I put his shoes in his backpack but when we were waiting for the bus he told me he wasn’t going to wear his costume. I told him that was his choice and he told me he was going to wear it tomorrow. It feels like this is a situational thing like so many other things for him, school is for school. I’m thankful he had fun doing the activities though. When he came home from school we were home for the night. There was no convincing him we should go anywhere. I offered a few Halloween ideas but “nopedy nope” was said and he talked about doing things tomorrow. Fridays are for staying home. And I don’t blame him. He goes so much and as much as he is enjoying Halloween this year it is still very taxing on him. It throws his routine off and it is overstimulating in many ways. I think Saturdays have become mud-hunting days. I don’t know that we will find any tomorrow but there are several fall festivals around so hopefully, he will want to go to them. He wanted an early bath, a huge dinner, and for me to not sing all the Spanish words I knew as a song. He kept asking for five more minutes when it was bedtime but quickly realized he was too tired to even argue his point. He’s excited about his Saturday and I’m praying he sleeps tonight. I’m thankful for the progress he is making and his laughter that fills my heart with joy. Today is the first day of the rest of your life so let’s make it grand. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Even on routine days, they are not always routine. Owen didn’t want to get out of bed this morning but he was certainly ready to get to school and start his day. The last few days he seems like he has been sleepier but it’s been a very busy week. He was happy for his day. I asked him what he was going to do at school and he said, “Math.” He has been watching videos about greater than and less than so I think he wants to learn more about it. His teacher told me they were working on that a few weeks ago and ever since then he has been watching videos. When I picked him up from school he said no trick or treating. I’m not sure if he thought we were going someplace else instead of his therapy or if it was because they were going to do a little trick or treating at his therapy place. He was highly elevated today but was able to do the exercises. He is losing a tooth so that is part of it and when they did the trick or treating he wanted lollipops. When he lost his tooth before he wanted lollipops to come from the pirate tooth fairy. When his therapist told me about the lollipops I thought we are prepared now for when he loses this one. I sat in the lobby for his first appointment but he was not taking no for me not to go to his second. He did well though. He wanted a different swing and he was able to do some of the stretches from the cards. He also transitioned himself so he touched his toes by bending over towards the ground instead of lifting his foot, up to his hand. This was a huge accomplishment for him. On the way home he was not happy I didn’t take him everywhere but he was already very elevated with his emotions and anywhere we went he would be having a hard time processing it all. He was talking to his tablet, “Skeleton in Espanol” and then he continued “That is skeleton in Spanish.” He then continued to talk to his tablet about singing in Spanish. It’s amazing to me. He was not pleased about bedtime but he stood in front of me yawning and said, “No bed today next week next week.” It wasn’t long and he was out. I’m thankful for his growth and determination to give it his all. Look for the beauty in the world and let it be your guide to smile. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Another happy morning. I asked Owen if he wanted to go to more Halloween activities. He informed me “Yes more trunk or tricks” but he told me that he wanted to take birds with us. I said, birds? He said, “Yes waddle waddle.” I’m wondering if I’m learning duck or pigeon today as our language. He told me that he wanted to go find a princess and go to another party he said. I think he has got this Halloween thing down and I am loving it. He was holding two of his fingers up using his thumb. He counted to two and then said, “2 o’clock ding dong.” He knew we were going to one of his appointments and he was really happy about seeing his doctor and therapist. His bus arrived and off he went to school. I was waiting for his bus to arrive and there was a car parked in the wrong direction in front of our house. I kept praying they would pull away before Owen’s bus arrived. The person in the car cannot even begin to understand how this will affect my son. It’s a public street. They are waiting for someone and have every right to be there. But at this moment I’m watching the clock and I wish they would drive away. His bus pulled up and thankfully when he got off of the bus, he was distracted by the fact that we were going to his appointment. The bus pulled away, and he walked up our steps. He watched the bus turn the corner, and then he started looking at the car, I didn’t want him to get distracted by the car so I kept telling him to walk up the steps. He was still there for a minute and continued to watch the car and I told him that it was OK and we were getting ready to leave in just a minute. Thankfully he went inside and we got ready to go. He had a great appointment and was very glad to see them. He got a little upset because I didn’t go to the railroad tracks and gas station on the way home. He told me that in November it was going to snow and he’s still wanting snow boots but when I asked him if he was ready to see the snow he said no. When he got ready for bed, I told him to go to the bathroom. He said, “Go potty tomorrow” and I said well you should go tonight. He said, “Go potty next week.” He went and then was asleep quickly. I’m thankful for another great day. Find your strength and make today matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Some days the wheels turn but the destination is not what you expected. Routine is hard for Owen when it doesn’t turn out exactly like he planned. He thrives in routine but the only thing ever truly expected in life is the unexpected. He woke up happy and he was excited about his day, but it was hard for him to imagine he wasn’t riding the bus home. Wednesdays are for routine but as much as I want life to always be routine for him, he needs to understand that it’s not always that way. I had an appointment that I had to go to, and he was going to be picked up from school by our friend. He was excited about the fact that he was going to see his friend but he also wanted his routine. When we were waiting for the bus, Owen kept about his afternoon and what would be happening. Our friends were going to take him to the park until I could come and pick him up. He asked me about today and then he asked me about the days ahead. He wanted to make sure that he was doing the things he thought he would be doing for the next few days. This always happens when he has a routine schedule change. He started asking about his Friday before he even left for school. When his routine gets changed, he has to make sure that he can hold on to when the routine will be his again. I picked him up at the park, and he was ready to go. We talked with her friends for a few minutes and then we left to go home. I told him we could go a couple of places on the way home, but he had to choose which places he wanted to go. He chose a school that he’d never been to but the bus had driven him by and he also chose what he calls burger boy, which is a little museum with a burger boy statue. He was not happy with my driving skills because I did not go to more than the two places. He screamed at me and he tried to tell me all the directions he wanted me to go. When we got home, I explained to him that we had talked about only going to the two places. I also told him that we can’t always go in the exact same directions that he wants us to go or go exactly like the bus does. I try to let him see the different things that he likes but sometimes that makes the days harder. I never know which way I should do this or if I should just come straight home. Once we got home, he was very calm and he was ready for a big dinner and talking about the days ahead. He wanted to make sure his routine would stay the same and what else was going to happen. He fell asleep, talking about his therapy tomorrow and everything over the weekend. I’m thankful for his growth and knowing that he wants me to learn German tomorrow. Find your strength, share your story, and know that you are amazing. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Thankful once again for the sleep we are getting. Owen woke up happy about his day ahead. He knew it was going to be a busy day. Bus, school, music therapy, home, snack, and vision therapy were only part of his list. Yesterday he told me he wanted Chick-fil-A but I told him they were closed on Sundays. He told me he could have it today on his way home from therapy so I do believe he knew what he wanted for dinner. When we went out to wait for the bus he told me he wanted the new gate next door moved. I told him unfortunately I had no control over what they put up but I was sorry that it blocked his view. He told me he missed his “traffic block.” Every change is a change for him that he has to process. This could take him a while to understand that it has been changed and most likely they won’t take the privacy fence down. I asked him what his favorite part of the weekend was and he said, “See the animals.” We saw the animals for about two minutes but I love that he shared that with me and told me what he liked. He talked about turkeys this morning so I told him we will have to find ways in November to do things with turkeys and he said, “It’s Thanksgiving.” I’m trying to think of different activities we can do after all the Halloween excitement is over. I explained that trick or treat he gets treats and Thanksgiving is for giving thanks. I asked him if he liked getting or giving more. He said, “Giving” without hesitation. I said maybe we can start giving in November. He said, “Yes.” I picked him up from school and we headed to his music therapy. As soon as we walked out of school he started asking if his therapist was going to be wearing blue pants. They did a Halloween event at his therapy place so he had fun with that and turning off the lights. Coming home he was a little excited about the rest of his day and didn’t want to get out of the car but I finally convinced him to come in for his snack before his therapy. Chick-fil-A was a go after his vision therapy. He did great at his appointment and did all the exercises. She gave us an exercise to try at home called popcorn where he gets to lie down on the floor and then go into a ball like popcorn. He will love it. He brought me his tablet and said, “Look this is French,” as he changed the option on a video he was watching to French. He then said, “Let’s learn French you will learn French today.” So I guess I’m learning French now. The rest of the night went quickly and I’ll be excited to see what language I’m learning tomorrow. I’m thankful for my sweet baby O’s big smile. Dream of the possible and see what tomorrow brings. Smiles to all and donut daze!

When life gives you lemonade you can’t make lemons from it but you sure can rejoice in the moments that made the lemonade. We slept all night and we both woke up on a mission. One of our missions that we both agreed on was “church church church” and the other one makes us both happy for different reasons. Owen woke up talking about church and then immediately went on to mud. Oh how much he has changed in the last few months. My anxiousness, my anxiety for rain isn’t completely gone but it’s lessening. When for years and years and years rain has kept you on high alert it’s not something you let go of overnight unless you are ready to let go of it like Owen did or for now he did. He’s my little miracle but he also cycles through things that cause him stress like doors and windows not being closed the way he wants them to or light shining through the window wrong. I had paper covering a window over my door because the meltdowns were daily when the shadows would come bouncing across the room. My heart still breaks how much he would cry over that one small window. The other day we came home, he looked at the window from the outside, walked inside, and asked me to take off the paper. He has questioned the light and tells me “Paper gone” but when I ask him if he wants me to cover it again he says no. I hold onto the progress even though I question when he will want me to cover it again. We got ready for church and off we went. I asked him to sing in the car for me and he immediately started singing a song in Spanish. I recognized the word “church” in Spanish but from there I wasn’t sure what else. He then sang a couple of other songs and I think one was in German. We got to church and he was excited to get to his classroom and see his favorite people. After church, he was ready to find mud. Unfortunately it wasn’t as wet as he hoped but he had a great time playing on the equipment and he even rode his bike a little. And I can certainly tell why his tires need air. He also realized there were many hills and trails. He wanted to go on them. At our church, they have a bike park. I would love for him to go on it but I know he is not ready for some of the jumps so I can’t let him go with only me there. I would want him to stay in one area but I’m not sure if he would want to listen once he got in there. One day I have no doubt he’ll be able to do it but even if he is ready his bike wasn’t. His tires were almost flat from all the rocks he was riding over. He wanted to make sure we went “the brown underpass way” on our way home and then to see the windows and the stoplight. The rest of the day went fast. He wanted to take his bath early and he almost put his clothes on by himself. He talked a lot about his day ahead and he is very excited about all his activities. I’m so proud of all that he has accomplished and the progress he is making. Dream of the possibilities and watch them happen. Smiles to all and donut daze!