This was the Mondayest Thursday I have felt in a long time. Crash, boom, bash feels like how the day went. I heard lots of noises last night and I guess Owen did too. He was awake before two. It may have even been one but the clock was not something I was interested in looking at so “upper night” it was for us.

He was upset when he went to bed because he did not want to do the steps for bed. He told me “Five more minutes” after I had been telling him for thirty minutes it was time for bed. When he wouldn’t go I told him he wouldn’t have his tablet when I picked him up for therapy. Wrong words at the wrong time caused him to think about it before he even went to bed and I’m sure it was part of the reason he woke up. The key is to keep him calm before bedtime but he is getting to the point where he wants to push bedtime even though he is requiring more sleep lately.

He ate several things before we even got ready for school. He was hyper and all my words were working about as well as they were the night before. The calmer I am the calmer he is. I have to remind myself instead to explain the situation and then tell him what will happen. That still doesn’t always work but I have to be calm.

We got ready for school and out to wait for the bus. He talked about me not bringing his tablet for the ride in the car to his therapy. It was very much on his mind and he also reminded me that he wanted me to talk to his friend’s dad to see if they could go to the park together. I love that he is making plans and wants his friend to join him. I told him we would have to wait and see.

When I picked him up from school he asked me if I brought his tablet and I told him that I didn’t because of his behavior last night. He was very calm about it. He saw his friend as we were walking to our car. He said hi to him and asked if he could go to the park. I talked to his dad and hopefully, we can one day.

On the way to therapy, he asked about his tablet a couple of times but then he talked to me about the pool and asked if it was fixed yet. It is hard to explain that it was closed for safety reasons. I told him that it didn’t look like we would have bad weather tomorrow and we would be able to go. I explained that the weather was a safety concern like how his swim instructor explained “walking feet” to him around the pool. The morning I can emphasize the safety part of the pool the better I feel about everything.

He was a combination of tired and hyper at therapy but they all said he did pretty well. I knew he would be very happy to be there and even if he was tired he would power through. He did his breathing exercises with his speech therapist to calm down so I was glad about that. On the way home he touched the door handle again. I told him if he did that again he would not be able to go swimming tomorrow. He did not do it again. I think he is making the connection because I related it to safety like at the pool.

He was very tired and I hoped that translated to him sleeping all night. He’s excited about going to the pool after school tomorrow and keeps talking about it needing to be sunny. We aren’t supposed to get storms tomorrow so I hope we can go.

Progress is being made by both of us. That’s what I keep telling myself. He is making many new connections and each day I am trying to focus on the good stuff. Let yesterday go and focus on your happiness for tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Today I’m focusing on the good stuff. I keep reminding myself of this and it’s working. The calmer I am the calmer Owen is even if he almost broke his glasses.

Sleep is still evading me but thankfully Owen has been sleeping much better again. He was talking through yesterday’s adventure at the pool. He was talking about how “the wood got wet.” He didn’t say “the woods” only “the wood” so I was not sure what he was referring to but I liked that he was thinking it through. I told my mom about it and she told me that when he is at her house he always wants to have the campfire. When it rains she tells him the wood got wet.

We were faced with more storms today and lots of wind. I told him we probably wouldn’t be going to the pool so he said, “Ask Grandma black computer.” I said we would have to see about that and it depends on a lot of things. He said, “Ask her.” He headed off to school not knowing if we were going anywhere when he got home and I didn’t know either. Sometimes even when I think we know we don’t. My mom said it would be fine if he did come so I figured I would see how it all played out.

When he got home he concluded that the “weather broken” and I told him we weren’t going swimming but the weather should be better on Friday. He said, “Dollar General” and I said sure. He said, “No stay home” and that was that. I said do you want to go anywhere else he said, “That’s too many cars stay home.” This reminded me about yesterday when we were leaving the pool he wanted to get in a “burgundy maroon car.” I told him we can’t take any car we want. He said, “Yes we can.”

For some reason, his tablets did an update in the middle of the afternoon. This was not on the top of our “fun things we wanted to happen today” list. Both of his tablets decided to go through an update at the same time. The one tablet did fine but the one he wanted was just spinning. I gave him the tablet he didn’t want but that did not make him happy. He doesn’t realize that his glasses can break very easily and he almost broke them when I gave him his other tablet. This is when our breathing exercises start and we talk about what happened. I want to prepare him for broken things and life happening but it is incredibly hard in those moments to do it. I try to reference back to these times when we can talk through them again.

After he got his other tablet back the night went smoothly and I reminded myself the next time he needs new glasses I will be getting him some very flexible ones. He ate a lot for dinner and wanted more snacks before bed. He’s excited about his Thursday with all his therapies.

He fell asleep singing Old MacDonald and yelling out his music therapist’s name saying it was her turn. I see so much progress and even through the hard moments he is learning to process them and find calm. Believe in the miracles yet to come. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Sleepy boy has been sleeping later. Owen is growing and growing. He was ready to go to school and see his best friend. He asked if he could go to the park with him and I told him that I needed to talk with his parents. He asked about him again right before he got on the bus. I’m so glad he is building this friendship with him.

He knows he was supposed to see his doctor today for more of his sensory treatment but they called to let me know they had to cancel the appointment. He asked if he could go to the pool today and I had told him that we would go tomorrow but I knew once his appointment was canceled he would want to go today. The pool is constantly on his mind now. I think it is more like the diving board hit he is ready to learn.

As soon as I told him that his appointment was canceled “pool pool pool” was the new chant. I have a feeling he will be wanting to go a lot during summer. I’m thankful that he has found something he loves doing and it is a great exercise for both of us. Not to mention that he tends to sleep a little better after the pool.

I’m thankful that he has set his mind on this goal. It is amazing to me that he is focused on jumping off the diving board and listening to all the instructions I give him. I am very adamant about the steps he has to take before he is allowed to jump off the board and I want him to understand water safety as best as possible. It is not something that he fully grasps but the more I go over the rules with him the more it will continue to keep him focused on safety.

Water safety is something we learned even more today. This one was hard. And it’s one of those things I wish he didn’t have to learn and glad he did. I didn’t even think about the weather. It was rainy off and on all day. I wanted to take him because I’m so proud of how far he has come and the goals he is working on. We just got to the pool and had only been in the water for a few minutes. The thunder came. It didn’t even dawn on me since it is an indoor pool but I know the rules. You have to get out.

It was going to be at least an hour before we could go back in. He got out but he wanted right back in. He sat on the edge at one point but at least he didn’t jump in the pool. The lifeguards were all very nice and were sorry they had to make us get out. The thunder was quite strong at one point and shook the whole pool area.

The meltdown was hard. My heart was breaking for him. I hated that I hadn’t thought it through but also glad he is learning more about safety. He thankfully was listening to me and we worked through his breathing techniques.

We got home and he was calm. He also asked every few minutes if we could go again tomorrow. We should be able to and I will remember to look at the weather from now on. I keep reminding myself that it was good for him to experience it because he needs to understand all the parts of safety. I’m also thankful that the lifeguards understood what was happening and were very kind.

The night went quickly and pool plans were being made. I’m thankful for his growth today. Each day is a stepping stone for tomorrow. Kindness and grace go a long way to always helping others in so many ways. And a smile goes just as far. Smiles to all and donut daze!

A very happy O when he woke up and he slept all night again. Owen has been pretty calm in the mornings. He is ready for his adventures today. He no longer wants to wear his glasses. He told me because he wants yellow ones.

Yesterday he told me he was going to burger boy and tried to go outside. I told him he can’t go outside without me. I overthought that a lot today. I have extra locks on my door and alarms but I am always trying to teach him about safety. I talked to him again about it today. There is no doubt in my mind he could find exactly where he wanted to go but I want to make sure he knows he can’t do it alone.

We got ready to go wait for the bus and he was talking about his friend and everything they were going to do. I’m so glad he has a friend he wants to do things with. He reminded me that I was picking him up from school and he was going to music therapy and vision therapy. He asked which way the bus was coming even though he knew and within a few moments, he was off to school.

I picked him up from school and off we went to his music therapy. The boy had fun at therapy and always wanted his therapist to come with us. When we left he wanted to go to burger boy and the other statue. He got out at the burger boy but he doesn’t want to stay right there he wants to walk everywhere and climb to sit with the burger boy. I think he would need a forklift.

We came home for a bit and then off to his vision therapy. He did most of the activities she had planned but told her what he wanted to do. When we got there he wanted gum like our friend shared with him and the doctor. I gave him a piece and he talked to the doctor about why she didn’t have one. He chewed it for quite some time and then spit it out.

We got home and he was quite content. He played with his tablet and he sat with me. It was a busy day but a good day for my sweet baby O. I’m thankful for his growth. Each day we can learn to let go of what is holding us back and go after our dreams. Dream big and make it happen. Smiles to all and donut daze!

I woke up early to go to the bathroom. He heard me and started talking. I said nothing and stood there for over five minutes praying he wouldn’t get up. It was barely four. He fell back asleep and I rejoiced. He woke up one other time talking but went back to sleep again.

I heard him stirring again and he started talking to me I said, “Good morning sunshine” and he answered, “Good morning sunshine how are you I’m fine.” I love it when he goes through the conversations with me. I’m trying to get him to understand he needs to let me answer part of this but I’m happy he is having a conversation with me.

He was very calm, listening to instructions and eating a lot. He is definitely growing. He had a full plate of cereal and requested pancakes, plus he wanted more cereal. He asked when we were going to the pool and if he could see the burger boy statue after church. I ate the rest of the pizza we had since he said he didn’t want it and then of course he asked for it after he ate his second or third breakfast. I told him sorry dude and I will get him another one soon.

When we were getting ready to leave he wanted to sit in the front seat. I told him I would look at the age. He has to be thirteen so I told him he had two years even though he only has a little over one so we would have plenty of time to prepare. He said, “No more two years.” He had a good day at church and wanted to go see his favorite statues. Some homeless people were standing at the burger boy going through their stuff repeatedly so I didn’t stop because I wasn’t sure how he would handle it. He was fine with not getting out.

This dude is determined to jump off that diving board. He asks constantly to go. I think he would be happy if we could swim every day or at least every other day. He asked when he would go back for another swimming lesson and I told him in March.

I’m thankful for a good day and how much progress he is making. I always say autism is as much about how I handle it as it is about Owen having it. Each day I try to give myself the kindness and grace I always talk to him about that we need to give everyone. Our life is not always easy to explain but the love sure is. Be inspired by the sunshine and dance to the beat of the rays. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Let’s celebrate this moment because Owen slept until five on a Friday night. If I hadn’t gotten up to go to the bathroom he would have slept even later. He laid in bed saying “I want chocolate milk please” and “Gimme a hug.” I told him I could hug him but he would have to come to the kitchen for his milk. He stayed in bed for about ten more minutes. He was very calm all morning but he did want to know when he was going to see his grandma and when he would get to go to the pool again.

I was asking him lots of questions this morning and he knew his birthday was March 14th. I asked him what year he was born and he said, “in Espanol.” He knows what year but it’s still a process for him to answer the question.

On the way to grandma’s house, he said something about going and I said, “I’m taking my baby to see his grandma.” He said, “I’m not the baby.” He is right he is a big boy. I love the connections that he is now making. He had a great time with Grandma and asked about going to the pool repeatedly with her too.

On today’s edition of what Owen wants are a “fast black big car” and a pool. As soon as we got close to the pool he asked to go. I told him we couldn’t go today and he told me he wanted one. He did fine on the way home but he locked the door when I came to let him out otherwise he did fine.

When we came inside he took his pants off and he always pulls one leg all the way through. He realized it and like we are working on with his coat he was trying to pull it back through. I was so excited that he attempted to do it.

Sometimes the loneliness is overwhelming. He is learning how to have a conversation but he isn’t always focused on answering me. Sometimes it’s like all of us and he does not want to talk at the time. Other times he can’t process it or does not understand how to express an answer to what I’m asking him. I remind myself to focus on the progress and I know he will continue to do amazing things.

The dude asked to go to the pool all day long so depending on how the day goes we may go tomorrow. Sometimes Sundays can be hard for him to process everything but he really wants to jump off the diving board so it is important to him and that may help calm him. It might also be a lot busier at the pool so I’m not sure how that would go depending on his mood.

I’m thankful for his incredible progress and how far he has come with his conversations. Each day the challenges of life are there but the victories are that much sweeter when I see the steps he takes. Today is your stepping stone for tomorrow. Be ready to shine. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Owen woke early this morning but his best friend and the pool were on his mind. He was pretty calm even though he woke up so early. The noises got him this morning I think.

He is getting better at listening to directions. I told him the steps he had to do to get ready and he followed through with each one. I try to give him several steps in a row and he is getting better about the follow through. We got dressed and out to wait for the bus.

I had a feeling he would want to go to the pool when he got home but I thought there might be a chance he says no, slim chance but you never know since it was Friday. The first words out of his mouth were “pool” and “grandma.” I am so glad he wanted to go. You never know since it is a Friday but this boy is working hard to learn how to swim so he can jump off the diving board. He wanted no snack and was ready to go.

He was determined and I’m so proud of his progress. When we first got there he still wasn’t putting his head under water but he was practicing floating and kicking. He wanted the diving board and would ask each time he did something but he was not ready. He still struggles to jump into the water from the ladder. He wanted to do it but it was hard for him to process it quickly by the end of our time he put his head under the water at least ten times from jumping off the ladder into the deep end.

I told him he has to be able to go down in the deep water, swim the length of the pool, and breathe without swallowing the water before he can go off the diving board. He was ready to go back before we even left the pool. He kept asking when he could go back.

He wanted a pizza for dinner tonight. He was so happy. I gave him two pieces and he said, “No ten more pizza” like he was ordering chicken nuggets. I said eat those two first. He ate four pieces of pizza and kept asking for “ten more pizza.”

Bedtime did not go smoothly. We painted together and then he didn’t listen about going to the bathroom. We go through these stages and he wanted to stay up. I told him he had to go to bed so he could go to grandma’s house tomorrow. He finally decided to go to bed and was asleep quickly.

I am praying for him to sleep all night but knowing it’s Friday there is always a chance he won’t. He is making huge strides with so many things. I’m so proud of him. Each day is a gift. Even though there are challenges in life we can focus on the good stuff and remember that tomorrow is a brand new day. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Maybe if I could stop overthinking the overthinking I could move forward on several things. I think about where we’ve come from and where I want us to go. Right now that’s my motivation. I see progress and I want it to continue for both of us.

I suppose my body thinks sleeping is optional right now. I always talk about how noises wake Owen but he is like his momma. Every single noise woke me up last night but thankfully he slept. He woke ready for his Thursday. He talked about going to therapy and couldn’t wait to get his day started.

He was also more calm about where his people would be today. He only asked if his friend was going to be there one time. And he asked if his best friend could go places with him. He talked about going to the park and numerous other places. He kept saying “I hope so gotta ask them” when I said we would have to talk to his parents to see if they would meet us someplace.

When I got him from school to go to therapy he was trying to race after his friend so he could talk to him more but he was already getting in his car. I didn’t get to talk to his dad about them going anywhere but I will another day. He made his plans for the days on the way to therapy. Today he wanted to go home after he finished and tomorrow he wants to go to the pool and get a pizza on the way home. I wonder if he will want to trade our car in again.

He did great at therapy and he was ready to get home so that he could prepare for his Friday. I’m excited that he wants to do things on Fridays now. This was a long time coming. He has wanted to stay home on Fridays to prepare for his Saturday but he wants to jump off the diving board so he wants more practice. I’m so proud of his determination.

Lots of snacks and dinner came and went. He requested for me to go get him a black computer, a black laptop, and a black big car. I see a pattern. The teen years are coming. He was happy and calm for the evening. Bedtime wasn’t his favorite moment but sleep came quickly. I hope he wants to go to the pool tomorrow when he comes home.

My happiness came from him continuing to talk to me about his friend. Each step forward is a step. Sometimes you have to look back to where you have been to see where you are going. Keep growing and let the inspiration guide you to an amazing tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Owen slept late again. He woke with a purpose and was ready to go to school to see his friend. He was happy that he was going to see his doctor after school and he couldn’t wait to go past his favorite statue the burger boy.

We had a few minutes before we had to get ready for school. He sat with me under the blanket and laughed at the game he was playing. I love the mornings when he is laughing. Even though his anxiousness for who was going to be at school today was still there he wasn’t as elevated about it as the last few days.

We got ready and we started to head outside to wait for the bus. He told me he wanted to wear the “black winter hat” this morning. Could his color be changing to black I kept wondering back to the black cars he now wants. He was so happy about the hat. He told me he wanted to show the bus driver. Off he went to school happy about his hat and getting to see one of his favorite people later in the day.

I picked him up from school and we headed to his appointment. His doctor called to let me know she wasn’t in blue pants and to see if we should reschedule. I said we would come because he has been calmer about it more recently. The whole way there I prepared him for her being in black scrubs and he seemed like he took it okay. We got to the parking lot and he was focused on finding a big black car. He reminded me he wanted Chick-fil-A after his appointment and he wanted to see burger boy.

He did great with his doctor. He had a tiny moment with her not wearing blue pants but nothing bad and he handled everything well. She was very impressed. He has gained fifteen pounds since he was there last time and filling out in height. It makes me so happy that he is now gaining weight in his age group. He has always been incredibly small for his age so this is great to hear.

She talked to me about his next set of immunization shots. He has to have them by seventh grade. She said they can be spread out and explained why she thought she would do them in a certain order. We are going in six months for his first one so I can prepare him for it. She is such a kind and considerate person to understand and help us prepare for these times ahead. I’m thankful Owen has a doctor that cares so deeply about her patients.

We left and he said he wanted to get out at the burger boy but he didn’t. He loves telling me one thing and then it being the opposite. Then he said no Chick-fil-A and that he wanted Burger King. I said not today he had already selected Chick-fil-A. I told him he couldn’t change his mind about everything. He told me “black car and Burger King tomorrow.” He has a plan.

The night went quickly. He was very calm and was excited about his favorite day ahead. He can’t wait to play ball on the playground again with his best friend. My heart is happy and I’m thankful he has a friend. Sleep happened and hopefully, he will get lots of rest again. His laughter is what fills my heart. Find joy and let the world hear you sing it from the rooftops. Smiles to all and donut daze!

I’m not sure how many times you can wake up before it’s time to wake up but it was that many times. There were so many noises last night so little time. Thankfully Owen slept through them all.

He was pretty calm again but wanted his people and routine. He wanted to wear a red shirt like his best friend. He doesn’t have many red shirts but it’s incredible that he wants to be like him. He told me he wanted to go do lots of activities when he came home from school. The pool and Clay Center were on top of his list. He then told me he wanted to go to a carnival. He was full of information. He told me when he went to the pool he was going to sit on the diving board. I told him he had to breathe and swim first. He had plans, lots of plans.

We went out to wait for the bus and he started talking about his day. “Are you sure,” he randomly said but I could tell it was someone else’s voice he was using. He will do that when he uses certain words. It’s like he’s almost completely mimicking them.

The pool was first on his list when he got off the bus. He was very excited to go and said, “Pool first no snack” but then decided he wanted one while I got dressed. We left shortly after that and he listened to all my instructions.

He did amazing. I still won’t let him on the board yet but he jumped off the stairs that were in the 10 ft end and his head went under twice. He wanted that big splash but he will get there. He practiced a lot of kicking and more jumping in the shallower end. He wanted to hold my hand when he jumped but I tried to pull him forward. He is so strong he was pulling me up while he was on the stairs. He asked for a few more minutes before we had to leave but was very calm when we did.

What was funny though when we walked out to the car he said, “black car let’s go shopping I’ll take that one” and started walking towards it. I said we can’t just take someone else’s car and he said, “How about that one” and pointed to a different black car.

I think this is a great time for him to learn how to swim. He is listening better while in the pool than he did when he was younger. It is good exercise for both of us and I like going when hardly anyone is there.

The night was calm and he ate well. He goes to see one of his favorite doctors tomorrow for a wellness check so he is very excited about seeing her. I’m happy he likes going to see his doctors. There have only been a handful of times when it was hard and that is mostly due to the blue pants meltdowns.

Bedtime is always something he doesn’t want to do anymore but it seems to go quickly. I’m thankful for a great day with my sweet baby O. You can choose to let yesterday define you or you can choose to let yesterday inspire you for your dreams coming true tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!