Sweet Baby O - Our Autism Journey
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Kindly Thursday - our autism journey

7/17/2025

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Owen woke up around four maybe. The time all blended together but thankfully I said it isn’t time to get up, you have to go back to bed, and he did. He came back after five. He wanted me to get up but I held my ground for about 45 minutes. That didn’t keep him from coming to me every few minutes with his tablet facing me so the light would shine on my face. He wanted me up. And up I got.

He was calm but very excited about going to therapy and this led to lots of repetitive behaviors and words. His excitement was building as to how his day would go. He knew what he wanted for his day ahead and he was sharing it loudly with me every few moments.

Yesterday I felt great and on top of the world. Owen was calm so I was calmer. Today it was nonstop emotions from him the moment he woke up and that spilled over into my own feelings. He wanted me to react to every single thing he said and did things to get me to react to those moments. I tried hard to redirect him and not show my own emotions so he would move forward. He mentions his behaviors that he knows he isn’t supposed to do like spit on someone but he focuses on them because he knows it gets reactions from me and others. When you have a child who never forgets a thing you are faced with interesting moments you have to work through. And sometimes any part of your reaction causes the waterfall to continue.

He has been asking more about pictures, calendars, and times of activities so I’m trying to figure out the best way to handle all of those for him. It’s all new territory. It truly is wild to me what he is now able to process and is requesting. If we ever mentioned timeframes, calendars, or pictures before he would scream, have meltdowns, or run into another room, and now look at him grow. It’s still a learning curve of what will work.

He is handling the clock I got him but I’m not quite sure what he is referring to with it. He keeps telling me the red section and there is nothing red about the clock. However, because read and red sound exactly the same it could be in translation. It will be one more mystery to solve. He has made incredible progress with reading time so I know he will get it.

We got to his therapy and he was very excited. I sat there waiting for him, praying that he would be able to handle it all. He has been doing better with his exercises so I hoped today would be a good day for him even though he was extremely hyper. He was a little thrown off by the order of his therapist since one was off today but he was able to do his exercises and enjoyed it.

We came straight home because the rain had started to come down pretty hard. We waited out in the car until it stopped enough that we could go inside. Owen wasn’t thrilled to wait but he at least wasn’t screaming. We finally were able to come inside.

The night went quickly. He was still in the mood to push all the buttons he could. He sat with me before bed and he seemed to calm down some. He was hoping that some of his friends could go to the movie with him next month. I love that he wants that to happen. Bedtime came and hopefully we both sleep all night. We will see where the journey leads us tomorrow. I’m thankful for his progress and his big laugh. Find kindness, share joy, love fully, and pray for tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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Happening Wednesday - our autism journey

7/17/2025

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By eleven last night, Owen was up several times. He thought it was Wednesday already. I prayed and prayed that this was not how the night would go. Almost seven hours later he reappeared having slept until almost six. He then proclaimed he slept all night and was very calm.

He had his usual questions, concerns, and wants but mostly the calm and wanting to push my buttons was happening. A great start to our day that I truly wasn’t sure how it was going to go. I even slept about five hours straight I think. I was so worried with last night that it would be bumpy but I think he woke from noise and needing to go to the bathroom.

I had another doctor's appointment so he knew he was going to my mom's house. He was very excited about this. We got ready and went to meet her. He was listening and paying attention to what needed to be done. Out the door we went.

The other day when we went to his therapy the road by the windows he likes to see was blocked off. Now every day that we go someplace, he asks if he can go by the windows and then he talks about the road being blocked off. This is not something that he will forget quickly and every time we go someplace he will ask about the streets being blocked off.

I dropped him off and then went to my appointment. My numbers were all over the place so more medicine changes and supplements to come. After I left there, I went to pick up Owen and then we got his requested Tudors on the way home.

We got home and had our lunch and then we worked on his scribbling. I explained to him that he can scribble, but instead of doing it with his writing that we should try scribbling for art. I told him that we could scribble and then make it into animals or other objects. At the same time, we then would write as well so he could do both skills. I explained that scribbling was fine, but he needed to be able to write so that he could express more of his emotions and feelings and others would be able to understand them.

We took out the markers and I let him choose all the colors that he wanted to use. Then he went back in and made the ears, eyes, nose, mouth, and tail in green. I asked him what he wanted to name it and he called it Monster Music. He was pretty calm doing the exercises. He was excited about scribbling. He wasn’t sure at first about making it but he was happier as we went through it. He was more excited about naming it.

We then worked on his writing and he was able to write his name several times in a smaller amount of space. I give him tiny sections of the paper that he has to write in and keep his letters close to the box. Each time we do it he’s getting better about writing, but it’s not something he really wants to do. He would however like to continue to scribble or as he says “tear a book.” We have talked about this behavior and I want him to understand that it’s different to tear a sheet of paper than it is to tear a book.

“Uncle Wichard on YouTube,” he said. He has talked a lot about Richard and it’s always heavy on my heart when he asks about him. He will say things like “he’s never coming back.” It’s hard to explain that my brother is gone. He understands about people moving, but how do you explain the loss of someone? I miss him so much. I wonder some days if Owen can tell then I’m trying to fill the hole in my heart and it always seems to be on those days he talks about him more. It’s like he knows I’m thinking about him too.

He went to bed quickly and was extremely ready for his therapy tomorrow. We had a good day and for the most part, he was extremely calm. I pray for another good night of sleep and a great day tomorrow. I’m thankful for his progress and his amazing Music Monster. Today is the day to accept those challenges and make them your victories. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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Bigger Tuesday - our autism journey

7/15/2025

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Sleep was better than some nights but not as good as it could have been. Owen was beyond excited for his next car ride to appear. He couldn’t wait for our friends to pick him up so they could go hang out at church. He was very happy about it all and he also wished he could make his friend happy. He let me sleep a little longer but he was definitely hoping I would hurry and get up.

He kept checking to see when I would get up. He wanted to go out to the porch to watch for our friends to pull up. I told him he had to eat breakfast still and it was four more hours until they were coming to get him. He was excited it was finally time to get ready and out to the porch we went. When he saw them he was so excited. They were off to church and I was off to a busy day at the cancer center.

I had to get my bloodwork done first and unfortunately, my port was not letting blood return. The flush was working but instead, she had to draw blood from my arm. She explained what was happening but all I heard was wha wha wha and something about a story if medicine didn’t work. She was wonderful about everything but me and medical don’t always get along so I leave it all up to the experts.

Next up was seeing the doctor. I asked him about the port problems and he also explained it but I was still like the deer in the headlights. He told me they would be addressing it when I had my infusion but my doctor wasn’t too concerned. I need to do some more vitamins and supplements because of my labs but nothing was horrible.

I went to my infusion and the nurse explained it again. She explained it a little differently and I got it, kinda, on the third try. This is why I leave the medical stuff to the medical people and I leave the praying to the praying people. And sometimes that is all the same people. They did some kind of medicine in my port and after two tries they got my blood going again and started my infusion.

My friend told me he was doing good. He was wondering if he was going to see his grandma. She was going to get him after her appointment. He was excited at church but he was also happy for his grandma to go pick him up. I’m so thankful for everyone who helps me with my amazing dude. She picked him up and took him back to their house.

My infusion ran a little long because of them were working on my port. Thankfully everything else went smoothly after they got my port going. Everyone is so wonderful there and very helpful. I let my mom know when I was done and I met her to pick up Owen.

We got home and he was excited about everything. He told me about his day and he played different videos for me. He knows he is going to spend some time with his grandma again tomorrow while I have another doctor appointment. He has already been out of bed several times thinking it was tomorrow so I pray he sleeps tonight. I’m thankful for that big smile, especially on the busy days. Never let your dreams stop being important. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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Cherish Monday - our autism journey

7/15/2025

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“Six oh oh!” Technically Owen slept a few minutes after and I mostly slept. I was completely in and out all night. He was in a great mood and asking about all the things he asks about but he was doing good and calm. I was thankful for all of that.

He was excited about his day. He knew he was going to his grandma’s house while I had my doctor’s appointment and then I was going to pick him up for his music therapy. He listened to the instructions and what we needed to do before going out to the car. On our way to meet his grandma, he wanted to drive by the windows, but they were blocked off for an event they were having. I told him we couldn’t go by it because of the streets being blocked off. He talked about this all the way to meet his grandma. He was trying to understand why he couldn’t go the way he wanted to go. I try to use this as a learning experience for him, and hopefully it will start to make more sense.

I picked him up from his grandma‘s house to go to his music therapy session. The whole way there he wanted to know if his friend was going to be there. He screamed at me on the way there after I had answered correctly the whole time and then answered randomly. I never know exactly how to answer him and when I try to redirect him, he will go right back to the same topic. He talked about screaming and being a big boy. I know he is trying to make the connection that screaming is not the option.

His friend was not at therapy today and that was the talk of the town. His therapist said he did good and acted tired. I was holding onto the tired part. She said they were able to change lyrics and add things to the songs they worked on. He was upset about his friend but he was able to tell me about the songs they sang on the way home.

We came home for a little bit before his vision therapy. He told me to order the pizza when we were going. Before we even left the house, he told me he wanted me to open the door at his vision therapy because he is afraid the door is going to shock him. In a way, this is a good thing because then he doesn’t get that far ahead of me. It was raining very heavily and I remember so many times when we would have to cancel appointments because he couldn’t handle going out in the rain.

He did incredibly well at his session but he was hyper. Very very hyper. We got our pizza and headed home. I was glad we had a good day. We worked on knowing that it would be one more month till he started school. I hope that it will help him to understand timeframes better as we go along.

Tomorrow I will go for another one of my maintenance infusions and he will go to stay with one of our friends. My mom will pick him up for me and he is very excited about this. He can’t wait till our friend comes and picks him up in their car so he can play with her kids. I pray this doesn’t wake him up tonight since he is so excited. I’m thankful for his progress and all that he is accomplishing. Let today’s challenge be tomorrow’s accomplishment. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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Mostly Sunday - our autism journey

7/13/2025

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To say we had a rough night is probably the understatement of all understatements. Owen woke at 12:30 and from there it was every hour and every scream for every reason. He was happy as a lark once I got out of bed by 4:30 because “no sleep for mommy” was going to happen. He was laughing at everything and I was not. The walking zombies had nothing on us. The only thing he was upset about was that we were not going to church.

I think his emotions got the best of him between all the excitement from yesterday, the adventures of the week ahead, and the continuation of his not wanting me to sleep. The first time he woke up he went quickly back to bed without talking too much. The second time he wanted his tablet and to make sure we were going to church. The third time he wanted me to get up to get him some milk and to make sure I wasn’t sleeping. The fourth time he wanted to tell me all the things we aren’t supposed to talk about like seeing people lose their teeth. The fifth time I gave up.

I’m not quite sure why he has decided that I should not sleep but this is one of the biggest things he talks about besides his best friend and when he gets to go to camp again. My closing my eyes has become quite the conversation with him and I truly hope this phase phases itself out quicker than it came in. Redirecting him off of this topic only makes him want to talk about it more and that is definitely not something I want because that only makes it even more interesting to him. Oh, how I pray this moves on.

The internet went out and he let me know immediately. He jumped right in with the prayers. I was thankful there was no screaming and I’m even more thankful that his prayers worked quickly because it was only out for about ten minutes. We have the backup plan but when we are home he doesn’t want to connect to my wifi he only wants to use the one at home. He stood next to me only talking about it not connecting to the internet even though he could connect to my wifi. I told him he could still play his games but that did not deter him either. And thankfully about that time, the internet was back on with him proclaiming “prayers answered.”

He was so sleepy that everything was worth the giggles and he wanted to talk about all the things he knew he shouldn’t talk about. Licking my head was also a top priority. I never imagined that would be something that I would have to learn to ignore because if I don’t embrace it he will try to do it all day long but if I act like it is no big deal and put my head down so he can reach it most of the time he won’t even attempt to do it and moves on. The rollercoaster of emotions is mine to sit in as I try to figure out how to redirect my little genius on wanting to talk about this.

He is ready for a busy day tomorrow. He will be with his grandma in the morning while I’m at my appointment and then he will go to his therapies. We worked on more of his exercises and he told me he wanted to do more scribbling tomorrow. I said, “How about writing” and he said, “Not tomorrow.” We also worked on telling time with an analog clock. He is doing great with the hours but still learning how to read minutes.

He was attached at my hip all day, making sure my eyes stayed open. To quote Owen “I pray sleep tonight.” He was calmer as the night went on probably because pure exhaustion was setting in and to once again quote him “I pray.” I’m thankful for his progress but I sure hope the sleep is what wins tonight. Celebrate your accomplishments and know you are one step closer to your goals. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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Vibrant Saturday - our autism journey

7/12/2025

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It was middle-of-the-road news but I suppose success. The two o’clock wake up call was too much for Owen to handle. He needed to tell me what was going to happen for his day ahead. Thankfully he went back to bed and came back after five. The screaming didn’t happen until I stopped answering the backwards questions with all the wrong details. He is so happy about going.

Sometimes the noise is deafening. Between the excited noises, random screams, tablet screeching, and the other noises of life they go in and out of my own brain’s storm. The screams from bedtime still lingered in my mind waiting for them to happen again. My heart aches knowing he doesn’t understand what the screams do to me. I pray every day for my words to echo through his mind that everyone deserves kindness and grace, and screaming is never an option. He is making incredible progress and I have to keep believing that he will get this too. And screaming will eventually be a thing of the past.

God had a plan and we are just here to be a witness to it. Owen was so excited to be going to the movie with our friend and then she was going to take him to his grandma’s house. That is why he woke up at two because he wanted to discuss this very important moment in his day but thankfully he went back to bed until five.

He asked many times when she was coming to pick him up because he wanted to get out to the porch to watch her car pull up. “Shortly she is coming shortly,” he kept saying to me when she still had over three hours until she was coming to pick him up. It was finally time to get out to the porch. He was so excited about it but distracted by people parking in front of our house. Her car pulled up and they were off.

She let me know he was doing wonderful. He had lots of questions but it went well.

She told me he made the connection that what she was wearing was her choice. I’m so thankful for all the people in our lives who are helping my son grow. After the movie, she took him to grandma’s house and he was thrilled. I went to pick him up several hours later. We stayed for a while before we left to come home.

He was very good on the way home. We stopped at Chick-fil-A. He was very happy. We were talking about states on the way home. I am working with him on the states and books of the Bible. He likes the books of the Bible better.

When we got home he asked for pictures from the day. I’m amazed how he is now asking for pictures. I showed him the pictures I took of him in the pool at his grandma’s house but he also wanted pictures of our friend’s car. It truly amazes me that he wants them. He would scream before if I even tried to show any to him and videos were even harder for him when they were of people he knew. He is truly making huge progress.

Bedtime came and I fell asleep sitting next to him before it was his bedtime. When he realized I did he started screaming at me to wake up. I looked at the clock and it was bedtime. He started asking to keep his tablet. I told him if he hadn’t screamed at me to wake me up he could have still had his tablet until I woke up. Thankfully bedtime was much easier than last night and he went right to sleep. I pray we both sleep all night and get to go to church tomorrow. I’m thankful for his amazing progress. Be the smile someone needs to see. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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Completely Friday - our autism journey

7/11/2025

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At least there was no screaming when Owen came to me at three o’clock in the morning so he has been a lot calmer about everything but there were too many exciting things he wanted to talk about. I persuaded him to go back to bed until five but he took his tablet with him.

He woke at three but waited until “five oh oh” to talk to me with all the details. He said, “Owen not going anywhere today” but then said, “Owen go to Tudors turn at the letter building go to the park slide shock you.” Lots of info but not sure which part will take over. He told me he does want to wear shorts and not take a bath until later.

He is always thinking and now expressing more about his emotions. He was talking a lot about the camp he went to at his therapy place. He told me “Do it again next year” and then talked about hoping his friends would be there. So much heart in all of that. He is learning and processing so much.

Tomorrow our friend is going to pick him up and take him to a movie that our church is sponsoring for special needs families. I showed him which one it is. As soon as I showed it to him he knew the movie or at least the characters so hopefully he will have fun. She is then going to take him to see his grandma. He is very excited about it and can’t wait to go.

My sweet baby O was all giggles talking about it throughout the day. He can’t wait to go on his “movie adventure” as he was calling it. Oh, how wonderful it is to have him excited about going places. I asked him if he wanted to go do something today and he said no many times throughout the day. I told him we could go anywhere but he said he would go tomorrow. He was very focused on talking about his friend and hoping that he would go to camp again so he could help his friend through it.

I am trying to have him do different exercises and school activities. I don’t push it by saying it is related to school until he says someone’s name or talks about it like when he says “arts and crafts.” Depending on his mood it can make it harder but he is doing so much better with scissors and writing his name. He always likes to talk about scribbling so I’m hoping to move him forward through that.

Some days the emotions are what get me. We had a great day and then the night was hard. He stood by my bed screaming at me and repeatedly asking the same questions that he already knew the answers to. There was no redirecting or changing his mind, he just couldn’t stop. He wants me to say the same words and if I don’t he spirals quicker. My heart aches. If I say all the right words it ends and if I don’t it continues. He finally went to his bed once he talked himself into answering all the questions being asked. I was thankful for that.

I pray he sleeps tonight and that he wakes up after “five oh oh” but I know he is very excited about tomorrow. He was extremely happy today with lots of giggles and I pray for that for tomorrow. My greatest reward today was to see him write his name by himself and I could read it again. It’s been quite some time since he tried to scribble it for me. Let joy always win the day. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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Greeting Thursday - our autism journey

7/10/2025

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Not a successful sleep night but as Owen said, “no scream at mommy.” He was up early but he was telling me he wanted to see his speech therapist. He was talking about words he wanted to work on and he was very excited about seeing his other therapists as well. And of course, he had planned his food day ahead.

He wanted to eat all morning. It’s interesting how some days it is all about the food and sometimes he doesn’t want to eat a thing. I suppose that is like all of us. He did however want me to know all the food places he wanted to go after his appointment. I told him we would have to wait and see. I try not to take him to the same places every time and I certainly don’t want him to think every time we go to an appointment we get food. With that being said I absolutely love that he wants to go to food places and he now tells me what he wants. His words are so beautiful and incredible. I know how much he had to work for every one of his words and the conversations are incredible.

I am having to brush up on my Spanish. He asks me questions and when I answer them he is expecting me to answer in Spanish. I have answered him a few times in Spanish and now the expectations bar has moved way up. There are so many times he will start the answer in Spanish before I can even think of what the English answer is. And my Spanish was always rusty to begin with.

He said, “Mommy happy.” I said I’m happy but I’m tired. I told him I wanted to take a nap and he said, “Keep your eyes open.” I thought oh boy no nap for me. He is so quick with answers when he has a plan up his sleeve.

He couldn't wait to get out the door to get to his therapy. We got ready and he told me all about who he was going to see and what they were going to do. I was hoping he would have incredible sessions especially since he had been up since three plotting how his day would go.

He did great with all three therapists. He had his moments, who doesn’t anymore, but he was able to do a lot of the exercises. He said he wanted food but instead he wanted to drive around. He told me that it would be a surprise but he wanted to stay home and order food tomorrow. The food king has spoken.

So many days I’m exhausted before I even get out of bed. By the grace of God, I’m able to pick it up a notch every day. Or at least most days. I’m thankful for his progress and how he is learning to express himself now. Each day I focus on the good stuff and try, truly try to let the other go. Let each day remind you about the good stuff. The littlest of victories lead to the biggest accomplishments. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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Venture Wednesday - our autism journey

7/10/2025

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I will call last night a success. Owen woke up around 4:45 but he went “back to bed no screaming at mommy” as he said. He wasn’t as excited about giving me extra time but he was calm about it. He was beyond excited for his day ahead and I was very thankful for that. He was also counting his days until he saw his best friend and all his other school people.

He was going to spend some time with one of our friends. I am so happy that he is getting to do things he likes with people he can’t wait to be with. He asked me what instruments he was going to take with him and I said it was up to him. “He said, “Play the music on all of them. He took his drum, ukulele, and harmonica. He was so happy.

He loves watching people come to our house from the porch. We went outside and he couldn’t wait until their car got here. It was like he was being picked up in a limo to go to a very important meeting. He was thrilled and kept asking if I had seen it yet. “Don’t see it yet,” he kept saying. The excitement he has been showing lately feels like some of the days when he was little and would get the giggles. It does a lot of good for my heart. He saw their car turn and he was off on their adventure.

He had a wonderful time and came back home with numerous stories to tell. He couldn’t wait to tell me all about it. He wanted to know when he was going back to visit them again and he was excited about all the things he did when he was there. I’m so thankful for people who pour so much love into my son.

I told Owen I was making manicotti for dinner. He said, “Manatee.” I repeated the word manicotti to him again and told him it was kind of like lasagna or spaghetti. This time he said, “manicoffee” and I liked his version better. He ate some of it, but he stuck more with the side dishes we had.

The rest of the afternoon he remained pretty calm and was excited about the days ahead. Hopefully, soon we will be going to see the horses and he wants to go swimming once again. Bedtime came and he fell asleep quickly. I’m thankful for a great day for my sweet baby O and all his incredible growth. Hopefully, he sleeps past ”five oh oh” and lets me sleep as well. He’s excited about going to his therapy sessions tomorrow. And before I know it, he will be back in school. I’m thankful for his progress and his incredible growth over the summer so far. Always remember the sun will shine again. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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Faith Tuesday - our autism journey

7/8/2025

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Mostly slept, mostly listened but definitely pushing the boundaries of all things sleep related. Owen wanted me to know every step that he was doing. He woke early but then went back to his room until “five oh oh.” From there it was time to get up. He was already torn between wanting to stay home and going to all the restaurants and parks that he could list.

He was very excited about going tomorrow to visit with one of our friends. He told me he was going to play music. I’m thrilled that he is talking about music. The more he is exposed to different opportunities I feel like it will help him to become stronger with his singing and playing different instruments. He told me he was going to take his drum, ukulele, and harmonica.

Our program advisor was calling today and I didn’t tell him until after we woke up this morning. But that was about nine hours too early. He couldn’t wait for her to call us. He told me he wanted to answer the phone after he heard the cricket ringtone. I knew this meant he wanted to stand about six feet away from the phone and yell hello every few minutes while we were on the phone.

He would ask me about every five minutes when she was calling and then he would go through everything he was going to say. When she finally called he was so excited. He kept putting his fingers to his ears and telling me “fingers in your ears so you can get excited.” I think that is how he can handle all the emotions. She could hear his excitement about talking to her on the phone. I told her she should see his smile and she said she could see it because of the excitement in his voice. This has been a long time coming. When she used to call it was so hard because he would scream the entire time we were on the phone. The progress is incredible even though he still has problems with phone calls it is nowhere near like it used to be.

He was watching an episode of the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and there were dancing cows. He was showing me the video and I took his hand and we started dancing. He was laughing hysterically as the cows were moving and we were moving. I reminded him that whenever he sees a car that he has to be careful and remember to always stay out of its way. He has no fear or concept that he has to watch out for vehicles.

I gave him a haircut this morning. Later in the day, he told me “Mommy gave me haircut short now.” I asked him if he liked it and he said yes. It had been a while since I cut his hair and it was getting very long. He still doesn’t love haircuts, but I’m able to do more of it all at one time now.

I hope he sleeps tonight and the excitement of tomorrow doesn’t wake him up too early. He said, “Let mommy sleep six oh oh” so we will see. There were a few little moments and lots of repetitive questions but he truly had a fantastic day. He ended up not wanting to go anywhere, but he has a busy week ahead so it was good for us to stay home. The littlest of victories leads to the greatest of rewards. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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    I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.

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