Blog Archives - Sweet Baby O

A Hairy Subject

3/30/2015

So Lynn you are wearing a shower cap... Are you getting ready to take a shower?!?! No, I'm getting ready for bed. Most nights I feel a like I should be on an episode of Little House on the Prairie. So again, Lynn why the shower cap? I wear it to keep Owen from pulling my hair.
I am not sure what the need is but he wants to pull my hair. Sometimes it is easy and is just a comforting thing for him, like when he is drinking his almond milk and I'm holding him. Other times he will give me a hug and then pull my hair with such force I don't know where it even came from. Then there are other times when he just walks up to me and because he is upset for one reason or another will pull my hair. There really is no rhyme or reason it just happens.
I have been told varying numbers for Owen's delay but the general number is about 40%. It is so weird to me that I can tell he knows his numbers, letters, colors, animals, fruits, vegetables and the list goes on but yet he can hardly say any of them. He can pick some things out like when you say "Owen where's the ball?" he will show it to you or get the ball. I wonder though if the hair pulling comes from a frustration from lack of communication.
I have read a lot about hair pulling or other acts such as this and from what I've read kids that are old enough to communicate answer with I don't know why I do it. I keep wondering if someone has the answer as to why they need to pull hair or eat hair. I keep hoping that he will grow out of it.
There are many other actions that Owen does as a result of needing to show who he is. I keep trying to figure out the toddler side of Owen, the sensory side and the autism side or is it just one big ball of Owen. I know everything is interrelated but I wonder what actions are things he just can't control and the toddler side of life.
All I can say is on this journey Owen and I are a team. My precious little dude may be a hair puller but the bigger thing he has pulled is my heartstrings. I will read, write and talk about everything I can until I figure out how to help my baby and others like him.

Textured moments

3/28/2015

I often wonder what it is that makes Owen like something one minute and then hate it the very next minute. Is it the feel, the smell, the sound, the color, the texture? Well yes, all of that. It is an ever changing world to him. It seems the more I learn about sensory processing the more I understand but the more questions I have.
Before Owen was diagnosed with autism I noticed a lot of things that would set him off into meltdown mode and I started noticing what would calm him down. We would often walk down by the post office. He would touch the bricks as we would walk by and then he just wanted to stay there and run his hands across the bricks. He would stay there for twenty minutes or more if I would let him. The bricks had a vertical line pattern to them and he would put his fingers right on the edges, often humming to himself as he did it. The humming is a constant with Owen when he is trying to find a happy spot in his body, a calming mechanism if you will.
As time progressed I have found a lot of other textures that make Owen happy. He tends to like harder surfaces more than soft things like stuffed animals. He has never been one to have a certain toy or use a pacifier. The need for these textures seem to be at certain times for him. It is like he is trying to find a connection to himself and his surroundings.
When I realized how much Owen liked textures I starting trying to come up with ways to help my little guy. I asked a lot of my friends if they could think of things with rough, hard textures. With some of these suggestions I came with the idea to make him a sensory book of textures. I found a lot of different materials to use and then my friend added a few more and sewed it together for him.
Owen loves input into his feet so I came up with the idea to get him some of the welcome mats for him to play on. The hard ones with all those little spikes. I also got a few that are more like carpet. I placed them all over his room and he will jump on the mats and then come rest on the softer one. I put one in front of the tv and he will jump on it as well. I forget sometimes that it is there when I go to tv area but I don't forget for long. I am amazed how much he gets from that stimulation though.
I am always trying to come up with new ways to help Owen get the input he needs. It would be wonderful to hear form other parents that have other ideas how to help their little ones. Please share my blog with people you know. Thank you all for the wonderful support I have gotten. It truly means the world to me.

Blog Time

3/23/2015

I started writing a blog when I took my son Owen off of dairy. It was amazing all of the changes that started happening right after I took him off milk. He has now been off cow's milk for almost three months. I put him on almond milk and the first few days were a struggle but then it was just like his regular old milk and he was fine with it. I am so thankful that my friend suggested to me that I take Owen off of dairy products. Not one doctor has suggested looking into his diet. Taking your child off of dairy may not be the solution for you but Owen is proof to not give up and keep trying different things. Owen is now off of gluten, I think... that stuff is in everything. I'm not sure if it is making as big of a difference as the milk did but I'm still trying to see how it goes.

This is the new blog. I was writing it in a different format but it wasn't as friendly so I moved it. Please share my blog with anyone that you feel it might help. I have some exciting things I'm working on and will be letting you all know soon. Please let me know if you have any questions or suggestions.

Sleep, What's That

3/23/2015

Sleepily I write about sleepless nights. Somehow the brain tells us to sleep and somehow it tells us not to sleep. I wonder what it is that tells our brains that we need to wake up.
Owen very rarely sleeps through the night and if he does he is normally up by five. The doctor said try melatonin but all it really does is put him to sleep, not keep him asleep. I wonder what the solution is.
When he wakes sometimes it is just a matter of him coming and getting in bed with me and he is out again. There are some nights he screams at the top of his lungs for twenty minutes or longer. And then there are some nights we are just up for the rest of the night. Those are the nights I just wanna say, oh my! There are nights he wakes up multiple times and each time is different.
I have tried feeding him right before bed and I’ve tried not giving him any food or drink and hour before bed and it really doesn’t change the outcome. Hopefully, as I learn more about autism and I explore it further I will learn the ins and outs of sleeping, or lack there of sleeping.
So here’s to a sleep filled night of donut dreams or at least the sheep jumping properly. Night night and sweet dreams to my baby love. Hoping and praying that sleep finds him and comforts him all through the night.

To Cool For School

3/23/2015

So where do we go from here!?!? Today was Owen’s last class with Birth to Three. The day came and went like all the other days but yet there was this hole in my heart like what’s next.
As I approach this next stage in Owen’s life I wonder which way should I turn, what services do I need to get for him, what are the right decisions!?!? Being with Birth to Three was great. They helped us a lot, they were that extra team player that I needed most.
I keep trying to figure out how the magic number of three is a good age to stop providing services. It really makes no sense to me. All sources say that the early years are the important years but yet as parents of special needs kids we then have to wade through all the sources to find help for our children as soon as they turn three. I know every state is different so I’ve heard outside of West Virginia there are states that work with kids until they go to elementary school. This makes more sense to me.
So here I sit waiting impatiently until tomorrow when I find out if Owen is accepted into preschool. The process seems long to me. I hope that he gets approved and then I can make the decisions I need to for my guy.
My thoughts have come so far but yet remain the same, I need to do everything I can to help my baby. Today is just one step closer to that goal. I know what matters tomorrow is the smile on Owen’s face.

The Word

3/23/2015

March 11, 2015! Finally someone gave Owen the diagnosis of autism. What does it change? Nothing. How do I feel? Relieved and mad and sad and happy and confused and ready to cry and want to rejoice and and and. What’s the real answer, how am I really supposed to feel, does it make a difference, does it help, does it change anything… well no, just makes me know I am even more determined to help my son be exactly who he should be. Today didn’t start off any differently than any other day, he just now has a label and my title is still mom. We are the faces of autism!

Food Matters

3/23/2015

How do we eat!?!? How do we even figure it out… we just eat. It is something that comes naturally or is it… When Owen eats it is like an event. A whole competition right there in his tiny little brain.
Food is such a necessity but yet as parents it seems like it is always a challenge to get our babies to eat or maybe it is to eat the foods we want them to eat. With Owen it seems like his food choices change daily. It also seems like he makes choices as to what he eats depending on where he is.
I think Owen knows what he wants to eat he just doesn’t know how to ask for it. He occasionally will ask for mulk which is what he calls his almond milk but there are very few other words that he really will say. He asked for nuts one day and hasn’t said the word since, which seems to be typical in Owen’s world.
When Owen starts eating food that’s when the adventure begins. He really doesn’t like to use silverware. At one point he could use them but it seems he doesn’t really want to use that skill anymore. He will let me feed him though.
I’ve read a lot about sensory issues and eating and it all leads me to believe this is going to be one interesting road. When Owen gets his food it is pretty much a guessing game as to whether he will eat it or not. One day he likes green beans the next day he does not. Or better yet he will eat something for me that he won’t eat at the babysitter’s house or for my parents. Owen will eat ham and cabbage that my mother prepares at her house, sends home to me and he will only eat it here. Will not even think about eating it at her house at all.
When Owen eats he is like one big party all by himself. There is something about sensory babies and the way they eat that is still such a puzzle to me. It is like he has to experience every part of his food. The touch, the look, the taste are all very important to him and don’t forget the smearing over his face. I think he might like that part. He is literally covered all over his face with it. The hard part is he doesn’t want it wiped of his face. I think it overwhelms his little body when I go to wipe his face and hands.
Learning to help Owen enjoy food is a very interesting process. I hope that the older he gets the easier it is for him to just eat his food and not have to process and think about every bite that he takes. I hope that I can help him figure out about textures and smells and make it easier for him to just enjoy eating. Tomorrow will bring a new food choice I’m sure and a new tale to tell.

Owen's Voice

3/23/2015

I sit and wonder sometimes what Owen is thinking. I just wish sometimes he could talk to me. He has come so far but that puzzle piece is still missing. I feel it is so close. I wonder what his first sentence will be. I wonder what he really wants to ask me. I wonder if he will be able to tell me how he felt when things started making sense.
Today we went to the store and he was great. He was engaged in the whole process. Pointed out the mawmaws to me which are bananas. I wonder why he calls them that but he does it every time. He know how to say the letter B but yet he calls them mawmaws. I hear him do that a lot, he will call something a version of the word or something completely different but using the same “word” for it every time.
Sometimes my emotions run over and get the best of me. I waited so long for my tiny little miracle. He is my heart, my soul, my world. I want to do every thing I can to make his world as complete as he has made mine. Life is a beautiful thing, his smile is my gift every day! In my eyes his words, even today are crystal clear because he is trying to find his voice and share it with the world.

Sing A Song, Not Just Any Song

3/23/2015

Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes… we have moved on to a new song tonight. I tried to sing this song yesterday and I was met with great resistance. We like what we like, which I suppose goes for all of us.
For awhile the only song I could sing to make Owen happy was the Wheels on the Bus. I must have sang it 100 times a day at first. Then all of a sudden I would get two words of the song out and he would start screaming. I still wonder what made him love the song and then equally turn around and hate the song.
So today when we sang head, shoulders, knees and toes several times without screaming I was happy. The hardest part of this journey is not knowing how to comfort my baby. I can tell he doesn’t like something but the words aren’t there to help him through this.
Hopefully tomorrow he will still like this song but when tomorrow comes and he doesn’t we just learn a new tune. Little challenges happen all the time but big love is right there making those challenges seem so tiny after all. Tomorrow is a brand new day.

Dressing Time

3/23/2015

I sit here and watch my little man and I wonder what he is thinking. Sometimes I think I know and sometimes I just cry. His eyes are bright and blue and full of curiosity and I think he is smart so why don’t the words fall from his mouth?!?!
Right now he is watching how gravity works. For about twenty minutes he has watched how things fall off a shelf. Once everything has fallen he puts them back on the shelf and starts the process all over again. I often wonder if it is a game or a need or maybe just the way he learns.
At almost three we are still working at some of the basic skills. He says very few complete words, he very rarely asks me for food and cannot dress himself, yet somehow he can memorize a video just once after he has seen it. The brain is so mysterious.
I try to explain to him that we need to do things like get dressed, that I have to change his diaper hoping that he will understand he really needs to use the potty and even what bedtime is but I don’t know what he understands. I wait for him to understand it and everything just click. Still waiting, still praying.
Every time I dress him I make a big deal about each step. I say Owen we have to take your night clothes off and put on what you are wearing for the day. I then go through each of the steps to tell him what is happening. I try to make him push his arms through his shirt or I leave his pants hang just lower than they should to see if he will pull them up. I see more interest in this every day and I was so excited when he actually took his coat off for me but yet he can’t put his coat back on.
The smallest steps mean the most. I get so thrilled when he figures out a new thing, my heart leaps for joy at these tiny moments and then it seems my every day challenges don’t really matter anymore. Today is a brand new day and together we will walk this path of exploration, footloose and cow’s milk free.