Life happens when you have something else planned. I thought Owen might sleep all night and I suppose I will look at it as him only kinda waking up early. I didn’t sleep at all so I suppose it didn’t matter.

After the initial shakeup of our morning, he was much calmer. And very hungry. Once again first and second breakfast was had and then he asked for “chicken and honey mustard.” “Why not,” was my response and I started making it for him. It was devoured and that was that.

It’s Easter. I think about what Easter means to me and how big of a day it is. I talked to Owen about Easter and going to church. That he was ready for but the rain wasn’t part of his plan.

I made sure we left early for church but it was still very busy and very rainy. Owen was not pleased when we got out of the car and it was raining so much. I am still always on edge hoping that he doesn’t start having meltdowns again over the rain. It was heavy but thankfully he kept walking inside. The cars and people were making him anxious.

When we got inside there were not enough blue pants but we made it down to his classroom. There were so many people and he was very focused. I dropped him off and went up to church. I knew with his reaction and all the cars I would need to leave a few minutes early so it would not cause a huge meltdown for him. Thankfully it all went smoothly and he was very happy that we had gone to church.

We came home and he seemed like he ate all day again. He is definitely growing. We played several games and he had a good afternoon. As the day turned into night he became more focused on what was happening the next few days.

He asked many times about going to music therapy tomorrow and he is hoping to see his friend there again. He also talked about going to his vision therapy after he eats a snack. He then asked about going places with his friend again and he had hoped he could have gone to church with us today. He can’t wait to go back to school on Tuesday to see him.

Our day started a little early but thankfully for the most part he was pretty calm. Before he fell asleep he came to me numerous times. I pray for sleep and a great day tomorrow. His laughter is the best and when I asked him to wear his bunny ears he did but he made me take mine off. I’m thankful for his smile and those big, blue, inquisitive eyes. Be inspired and let your inspiration shine. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Thankfully sleep happened! Owen slept until a little after five. I’ll take it after the days we have been having. It was a pretty calm morning as well. He was ready for his day and the days ahead so he could get to Tuesday for the bus to bring him home and especially to be with his best friend.

He wanted to make sure I knew he slept all night so he could go see his grandma. He also wanted to know about his Sunday, his Monday, and what was happening Tuesday. The countdown has truly begun.

He ate a lot of his breakfast before he asked me again when we were leaving for him to see his grandma. I told him in about five hours and he went through his whole day. He ate more of his breakfast and checked again. This went through first and second breakfast.

We got ready and we headed to his grandma’s house. This is where he started going back through each of his days. He wanted to make sure what he was doing today, tomorrow, Monday, and then finally Tuesday. He didn’t want to miss a thing.

As we were getting closer to my mom‘s house, he started getting more anxious about the way we were going. I try to get him to understand that we can’t always go the same direction and that sometimes we have to go different ways because of construction or accidents. When we turned down the road he didn’t want to go on. He immediately went for the door handle. I pulled over in a parking lot and talked to him about this behavior. Trying to relate to being dangerous is not something he completely understands. I am trying to get him to understand this isn’t a behavior that he can do. We have been working on this for a while so I told him the next time he did it we would go immediately home. I turned around and I started heading home. He immediately started telling me he was sorry and kept apologizing for trying to open the door. because he recognized it was a problem and he said he was sorry I told him that I would take him to his grandma’s this time but next time if he did it, we would go home.

We got almost to her house when I had to stop at a red light. This once again upsets him, and he told me to turn right, which is the opposite direction of his grandma‘s house. I want him to understand that he can’t continuously yell out directions or tell me where I need to drive. I’m hoping that each time we go out, he will realize that his behavior car needs to be calm and not demanding. It isn’t something that he will learn overnight, but I hope by continuing this process he will understand that he can’t do certain actions or behaviors in the car.

Danger is something I worry about all the time with him because he doesn’t understand what that truly means. It’s emotional knowing that my child doesn’t understand when he could possibly be in danger. I’ve yet to figure out how to make him understand what that is so I’m trying to give him Other ways to make those connections.

My mom took him for a drive as well because he likes to go look at different statues and locations. He went for the door handle with her as well, and she immediately brought him home. The child safety lock is on, so he technically cannot open the door, but if he rides with anyone who doesn’t have this on, it would be a huge issue immediately. This is something that he needs to understand. I pray for those connections, and I pray for his safety always.

When I brought him home, he was much better behaved, except that he made a spitting sound. This behavior tends to become magnified, and then each new behavior comes after that. I know that part of it is wanting attention and sensory overload for doing things like stopping at red lights, or not going in the direction that he thinks we should.

Once we got home, the evening went pretty quickly, and he was relatively calm, except that he wanted to know all his days ahead. He didn’t want to immediately go to bed, even though he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. Because he didn’t do the steps for bedtime. I told him that he could not take his tablet to church tomorrow. Again, I’m trying to get him to understand the consequences for his actions and behavior.

Even though there were these behavior issues, he still had a pretty good day and remained calm, even though he continued to ask about when he was going back to school. Routine is everything to him and I can’t wait for him to be back in routine. Laughter and his smile made my day. Find what makes you laugh and share your laughter with the world. Smiles to all and donut daze!

At least “upper night” was a quiet night. Owen woke maybe around two but he took his tablet quietly and went back to his room. There was no yelling or requests to go places. I was thankful for that. I got to sleep a couple more hours and he was happy playing on his tablet.

I fixed my coffee and got Owen some breakfast. He was asking about school on Tuesday and his best friend. He didn’t stop asking about school on Tuesday until he mixed it up with asking about when we were going to the park, seeing his grandma tomorrow, making sure he was going to church on Sunday, and wanting to go to see his grandma on Monday. But the biggest one was back and forth between school on Tuesday and making sure his best friend would be there.

He knew we were going to the park with our friends. He has a hard time with parties and overstimulation so I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it for him but yet I wanted him to have fun. I put everything in the car and we got ready to go. We stopped to pick up the pizzas and then headed to the park.

It was like as soon as I put the car in drive he started talking about his best friend. He was sad because he wasn’t coming to the park today. He wanted me to call his dad and talk to him but I explained I couldn’t. He doesn’t understand why I can’t make his friend show up. It breaks my heart to see him sad about missing his friend so much.

We got to the park and we met my mom there. Soon after our first friends arrived. We unloaded the car and the boys started playing on the equipment. Then more of our friends arrived but Owen kept asking for his best friend. He sat talking to one of the other mothers asking her about his friend. He tried to get everyone to look for him. I told him he would see him next week.

The kids all had fun and we ate our pizza. Owen wanted to pick up the trash around the park. I have to constantly remind him not to pick up stuff from the ground. I try not to think about it or get overprotective but he doesn’t understand the dangers of what could be there.

I was thankful for a good day at the park. It was great to have everyone there and just enjoy the time. It’s always wonderful to be with people who love your child and understand what you are going through. I felt frazzled and tired but having my friends there as much as having Owen’s friends was wonderful for all of us.

We came home and his focus truly didn’t change but thankfully he was calm. He is ready to see his grandma tomorrow and as long as he at least sleeps part of the night and no screaming he will be going. He ate a lot for dinner so hopefully, his full belly will help him sleep. He only asked me a few more times about his friend but at least he was calmer about it when he asked.

I’m praying when his routine comes back next week he will start sleeping better again. Today did my heart good. I didn’t get to spend much time talking to everyone today but it was wonderful to be with people who care about us. I pray for sleep and I’m thankful Owen enjoyed his day. Find what makes you smile and let the whole see your joy. Smiles to all and donut daze!

There were so many noises echoing through the night air I was worried Owen was going to wake up again but thankfully he slept until almost seven. I think his days were finally catching up to him. I heard him in his bed asking about his tablet but he didn’t get up for some time. He then walked into the living room and sat on the couch, still not getting his tablet. I think exhaustion had set in.

He finally got up and started talking to me about going swimming. I was thinking we could go earlier in the morning but the schedule was not going to work for us. He decided he wanted to go to see his grandma before he went to therapy. We got ready and headed there, making sure we had all our gear for swimming after he got done with his therapy.

On the way there I asked him what his favorite animal was and he said, “Hermit crab kinda like a lobster with a shell.” I then asked him if he could tell me his favorite food. He said, “Fish but first we get a hermit crab and then a dog kinda a big dog.” We were on a roll so I continued. I asked him his favorite color and I was not shocked by him selecting blue but I was surprised when he came up with “five and four and three” as his favorite numbers.

He stayed with grandma for a few hours and then I picked him up to go to therapy. The whole way there he was focused on going swimming after therapy and saying “focus on today” which he wasn’t completely focused on today but instead more of the statement about focusing on today.

He did fine at therapy but he was distracted by his days ahead. He has a hard time focusing on the day at hand. We then headed to the swimming pool. All day he has gone over the steps he needs to accomplish before he can jump off the diving board. I’m glad he understands that he needs to do the steps and learn the process before he can jump off the diving board. If he wasn’t so cautious about jumping off the edge of the pool I wouldn’t be as adamant about the other rules but he needs to completely focus on pool safety first. He wants to always hold my hand when he gets ready to jump in the pool. I’m thankful that he is thinking through it all though.

When we got home he ate his dinner and he wouldn’t stop talking about going back to school on Tuesday even though he was excited about tomorrow. He kept saying that he would ride the bus home on Tuesday. His routine is everything to him.

We are going to the park with his friends tomorrow to celebrate his birthday but he is struggling with even talking about that part since it was two weeks ago. I know he will enjoy being there though. I hope that he sleeps tonight so he can enjoy his day. I love hearing his laugh and seeing his big smile. Always remember to focus on the good stuff. Smiles to all and donut daze!

No sleep is something I’m beginning to think is on trend for Owen. He was up by two and continued to scream at me about wanting to go to the pool. This is hard, harder than hard. He once again didn’t like the fact that I told him it was the middle of the night and he needed to go back to bed. He did not like this option.

Two turned into three and four and five. No more sleep for us and lots of emotions about everything. Owen finally realized about five o’clock that I meant we were not going to the pool, we weren’t going anywhere. I had plans tonight to go do comedy but I was too tired to even think about it let alone remember my lines to even say.

Finding time for yourself is one of those self-care things that is supposed to be at the top of the checklist but when your own sleep schedule isn’t exactly perfect and then you mix in someone else’s sleep schedule there is generally not a lot of sleeping going on. I pray we find sleep tonight. And just because I’m exhausted or he is exhausted doesn’t mean we sleep.

Once the day got going he was much calmer even though he was focused on going back to school next week. He asked more times than I can even imagine about school on Tuesday and if he was going to ride the bus. I’m trying to get him to understand he needs to focus on the day we are on but how incredibly hard is that for him when all he wants is his routine? My mind spins thinking of all the specialists he has gone to over the years to help him with this but he has a way of working through any and all exercises we do.

“School next Tuesday,” he said repeatedly over and over and over again. He was his mantra for the day. Seeing his friend on Monday was great and also hard for him because he missed him. He wants to go places with him but he can’t. Hopefully, over the summer we will be able to do more.

“Do not pinch me,” Owen quickly said. He hasn’t pinched me in quite some time but those words come tumbling out of his mouth a lot. When he was little I would tell him we don’t pinch each other and I would also talk to him about how he would pinch his food instead of picking it up to bite it. Eating has been something we have worked on for years. His teacher would talk to him about crumbling his food because he would pinch a piece of it and then basically pulverize it so now he says, “Don’t crumble it” but technically he still does. Each step forward is a step though and progress is being made.

He wanted to fall asleep in my bed but I made sure he went to his bed. It’s always a guess where he will sleep better but he was already practically sleepwalking to his bed and was out within minutes. I’m praying for sleep for both of us.

He has his therapy tomorrow and I made sure that he knew that was the only thing we were doing because I didn’t want him thinking he needed to wake up to go swimming even though if he does sleep all night I might take him in the morning. He asked to go to Dairy Queen with his grandma after therapy so we will see how the day goes. I’m thankful that he was calm by the end of the day and I pray we get back on a sleep schedule for the rest of his break. Through the challenges of life, we learn to appreciate the victories even more. Celebrate your victories no matter how big or small they are. Smiles to all and donut daze!

The journey is not complete without an “upper night” at least once a week. If the up all night comes without attitude I can handle it more than with the preteen attitude that comes with turning all the lights on and some screaming. Owen was not pleased I suggested that he go back to bed without his tablet if he wanted to go to the pool today. And that is pretty much how the entire day went.

Sleep is one of those things I crave but never seem to get enough of. When you have your own set of reasons you can’t sleep it is always interesting when the timing of your not sleeping is completely different than the timing of someone else’s.

Owen wanted to go to the pool at two or three in the morning and kept asking about it. This was not up for debate with him. I explained to him that we couldn’t go to the pool when it wasn’t open and because of his behavior we were not going to be able to go when it was open. As hard as it is I need him to understand that if his behavior is bad then he has to learn to deal with the consequences. I told him we would still go to his therapy but otherwise, we were staying home.

He once again wanted to take his best friend to therapy today. It’s hard to explain that I can’t just make this happen. I’m hoping that maybe over the summer we will be able to do more activities with his friend.

Each and every break is hard. I tried to not cry a river today. There was nothing calm about our day. The repetitive behaviors were hard and he was very concerned about what day he was going back to school. Not sleeping does not help this process at all.

I got a call for Owen today from his program. It was hard. They asked specifically to speak with him and I explained that he doesn’t take phone calls well. He has only held the phone up to his ear a couple of times over the years and it always leads to many emotions for him and some meltdowns. FaceTime was even harder for him but he is starting to process it all better now.

We went to his appointment and he wanted to see the therapist first not the doctor. I kept telling him that he was seeing the doctor first but this only upset him. When we went in the room for the doctor he started to have a meltdown. He immediately was fine once he saw the doctor but it was all hard for him to process. He was happy once he got to see his therapist and from there the appointment went fine.

On our way home more behaviors in the car. I tried to let them go but I reminded him that if he doesn’t sleep tonight and has more behaviors he will not get to go to the pool tomorrow. He said he wanted to go but his behaviors all night were filled with attitude including when bedtime happened. He didn’t want to go to bed. He refused to go at first. I am trying not to let every single action and reaction keep him from doing something but I want to work on his behavior before he becomes a teenager.

I am praying for sleep. I need sleep and I hope that he does too. Each night I remind him that he is amazing and that I love him. I want him to hear positive words before he goes to bed. We had about fifteen minutes where he sat with me and talked while playing on his tablet. These are the moments that always fill my heart with hope. Find hope in the little things and know that you are amazing. Smiles to all and donut daze!

I think my plan may have worked. Owen slept until after six. He then came and sat with me, talking about all the things he wanted to do this week. He said he wanted to go on the diving board but he told me the steps he has to do before he can go on it. He sat with me for at least five minutes before he talked about his grandma or his tablet. This morning definitely felt like a huge victory. He then said he was going to grandma’s in a little bit.

I love the mornings when he is calm and focused. I told him that we were going to see his grandma and that made his day. I think it was after third breakfast that we finally got ready but we were in no real hurry. He wasn’t convinced he liked his new “blue pants” but he wanted to wear them. The dude is growing and he needs all new clothes. Very few things fit him anymore.

He had a nice time with his grandma and we plan to see her a couple more times during spring break. I usually arrive a little early to pick him up. This gives him time to adjust to us leaving. I did the countdown of time and he still wasn’t doing the steps he needed to leave. He wants to go to the pool tomorrow. I told him if he didn’t listen to my instructions he wouldn’t be able to go tomorrow. He said, “Behave and sleep tonight.” He wants to go to the pool.

I’m not sure why his “best friend” was at therapy today but it about bowled Owen over. He saw his dad in the waiting room and he could hardly take it. He walked around the waiting room and then sat next to me continuing to talk about him. His friend came out from his session and Owen could barely look at him because he was so excited. He had this huge grin on his face. They let them talk for a minute but it was hard for him to even say anything he was so excited. His friend left and Owen walked back with the music therapist talking about seeing his friend.

He had a good session and is truly enjoying music therapy. When we left he wanted to stop at the park to see if his friend was there. I told him he wouldn’t be but he still wanted to stop. He said he wanted him to come to our home. He never wants anyone to come over ever so that is huge even if he doesn’t get to come.

When we were at the park he was pointing to the sky looking at different clouds and then asked for a zeppelin and Megamort from the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. I love how he is making these connections to everything. It feels like incredible progress once again.

We came home and he had a snack before he went to his vision therapy. He requested for me to ask his friend’s parents if he could come to his appointment with him. I told him that I wish I could take them places but it has to be his parents’ decision. It is hard for him to understand that I can’t make them meet us somewhere. I hope that it will work out one day though. He did incredible at vision therapy and I see tons of progress. He was very calm during his session and that helped his focus.

The night went quickly. He talked about his friend again and all the activities we will be doing this week. He knows that he has to sleep tonight and behave to go to the pool. More progress is being made. He’s excited to go to his sensory therapy tomorrow afternoon. It will be another full day for us if all goes accordingly. When it was bedtime I asked him to put his tablet on the tablet so I could charge it. He said, “table” and I realized he was telling me that he is not allowed to put his school tablet on the dinner tablet because he might spill his drink on it. He amazes me with his memory. I’m thankful for a good start to our day and a calm finish. Focus on the good stuff and the rest will follow. Smiles to all and donut daze!

I generally say change is hard on Owen. I can one hundred percent say change is hard on me. Maybe I could say even harder on me because I dwell on it and hold his so close to my heart. There’s a moment of brokenness associated with change. All change isn’t bad but the moments you ride through the ripple effect feel unending but then it happens and change is your new moment in time and it will all be fine.

Sleep happened for Owen. In fact, I heard him wake up and then he fell back asleep or at least stayed in his bed for another hour. I heard him get up and he immediately started talking about going to church. I was thankful he got rest. He then got his tablet and started eating his breakfast.

He sat on the couch playing on his tablet. He brought it to me and he showed me one of the screens he was working on. He read what was on that screen but he left off the T on the word “they,” and he said “hey” instead. He did the same thing with “that” and changed it to “hat.” I’m amazed at how his brain works. He emphasized that they were T words but left it off.

He knew he wasn’t getting to take his tablet to church because of his behavior at bedtime last night. He asked to take chocolate milk instead. I found that fascinating. We got ready to go and he told me one more time he wasn’t taking his tablet because he didn’t go to bed last night on time.

In the car, I asked him why we go to church and I talked to him about prayer. I asked what do we pray about and he said, “Dear God.” I asked him what he was thankful for and he always says “Owen” because I always say I’m thankful for him. I said what else are you thankful for? He said, “ferrets kinda like a weasel” and “hermit crabs.” There is never a dull moment. He then said, “All animals are great.” God hears all prayers.

We got his requested Burger King after church and then we came home. He had a great afternoon and was very calm. He was laughing at everything and he sat with me playing some games. He wants to go see his grandma tomorrow and he is going to go but I told him we would find out in the morning, hoping that his not knowing will help him sleep.

We have many things planned for the week ahead and he seems to be planning more because he asked if he could go see Santa. He told me we had to ask his music therapist. She has close ties to Santa but I told him we probably wouldn’t get to see Santa this week. Maybe Christmas in July or in December. He laughed and he said, “Santa North Pole.” He fell asleep quickly after his same prayer again, asking about grandma, and I’m hoping all his dreams come true. And he sleeps late. Laughter truly is the best and his laughter makes my heart sing. Live in the laughter and love in the moment. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Five o’clock in the morning works for me on a Saturday. I’m thankful we slept that late. I made sure Owen knew he was not going to his grandma’s house today since she had other plans and maybe that worked. He knew he wanted to go bowling but we always go later in the day so I think that helped him sleep.

Owen came to get his tablet from me and then went through all our morning moments. He was ready for this day. Breakfast turned into lunch at least with food. It is oh so true my boy is growing. He is requesting more food and different things.

I’m not sure which is harder answering or not answering. “School school school,” Owen said. If he said it once today he said it hundreds of times. This goes for many other activities, people, and places he listed off all day long. It takes a lot of brain power to not answer him or work on redirecting him. It doesn’t stop him or truly detour him in any way. But I will continue to try all the ways I possibly can to help him process to be confident in his words and know his schedule. I pray for my own strength and confidence in my words. What did stop him was when I started eating a banana he immediately walked away.

It was bowling time and he was excited. Our friends came with us and Owen was very happy. We still wear the armband because as soon as I think I’m going to stop wearing it with him he will talk about telling the pins bye-bye again and I can’t have home running down the lane again.

When we left the bowling alley he wanted to go by the train depot. He likes to go around it multiple times. After the first time he wanted me to go a different direction but he didn’t tell me until after I was already turning. He started spitting and kicking the seat. These behaviors are ones we are working on so I told him we were down looking at the depot and we were heading home. I explained that if he continued this behavior his tablet would be gone when we got home. It took him a few minutes but he said “Sorry Mommy” and didn’t act up the rest of the night until it was bedtime and he didn’t want to go to bed. This behavior I expect though because it pretty much happens most nights.

I’m thankful he enjoyed his day and that he handled not going to see his grandma today. I pray he sleeps all night and he continues to plan more “Curious George adventures.” His belly gut laugh kept me laughing today as it traveled through the whole house. His laughter truly lifted my spirits on a hard day for me. I am learning to focus on the good stuff and his laughter is the best. Laugh and let the world hear it. Believe me, we all need that ray of sunshine. Smiles to all and donut daze!

“Upper night” happened. Owen was awake around two. I’m not sure why this happened but there we were. I didn’t even try to convince him to go back to sleep. He talked a good talk about it being nighttime but he was awake.

You would think you could accomplish a lot when you are up all night but it seems like that isn’t something that ever happens. I always try to go back to sleep but the noise level is pretty loud even though I tell him to turn down his tablet.

I fixed him a snack. I suppose I could call it breakfast. He ate it all and wanted more. He is definitely growing. He has been eating a lot more lately and that seems to be increasing his new food requests as well.

We got ready and went outside to wait for the bus. He jumped up to see the bus come around the corner. I love watching him do things like that. Jumping for a purpose like this doesn’t happen often. He jumps while he is stimming or processing something but not necessarily for fun or to check something out like this. The bus came around the corner and he came running to me. Before he could walk to the bus he wanted to talk again about it being spring break next week and then off he went.

When he came home from school before he even got off the bus I saw his school tablet in his hands. I wanted to cry right then. Having his school tablet at home only brings more problems into the mix and it’s not like I can say it is not here. It is hard for him to handle having it at home. He loves playing on it but it is one more thing to cause meltdowns when it doesn’t do what it is supposed to and I don’t know how to fix the app of his password. I also knew this would change our Friday. Swimming was out and the tablet was in. That part I was technically fine with since he was up all night he would be cranky at the pool if there were too many people around.

The night seemed to fly by. Thankfully he was pretty calm and exhaustion won quickly for bedtime. He knows that he is not going to his grandma’s tomorrow because he is going several times next week. He asked to go bowling so when it opens we should be going unless he changes his mind. Hopefully, sleep will happen since it didn’t last night. His laugh is what makes my heart whole. Be the change you want to see in the world. Smiles to all and donut daze!