Sleep is one of those things I crave but never seem to get enough of. When you have your own set of reasons you can’t sleep it is always interesting when the timing of your not sleeping is completely different than the timing of someone else’s.
Owen wanted to go to the pool at two or three in the morning and kept asking about it. This was not up for debate with him. I explained to him that we couldn’t go to the pool when it wasn’t open and because of his behavior we were not going to be able to go when it was open. As hard as it is I need him to understand that if his behavior is bad then he has to learn to deal with the consequences. I told him we would still go to his therapy but otherwise, we were staying home.
He once again wanted to take his best friend to therapy today. It’s hard to explain that I can’t just make this happen. I’m hoping that maybe over the summer we will be able to do more activities with his friend.
Each and every break is hard. I tried to not cry a river today. There was nothing calm about our day. The repetitive behaviors were hard and he was very concerned about what day he was going back to school. Not sleeping does not help this process at all.
I got a call for Owen today from his program. It was hard. They asked specifically to speak with him and I explained that he doesn’t take phone calls well. He has only held the phone up to his ear a couple of times over the years and it always leads to many emotions for him and some meltdowns. FaceTime was even harder for him but he is starting to process it all better now.
We went to his appointment and he wanted to see the therapist first not the doctor. I kept telling him that he was seeing the doctor first but this only upset him. When we went in the room for the doctor he started to have a meltdown. He immediately was fine once he saw the doctor but it was all hard for him to process. He was happy once he got to see his therapist and from there the appointment went fine.
On our way home more behaviors in the car. I tried to let them go but I reminded him that if he doesn’t sleep tonight and has more behaviors he will not get to go to the pool tomorrow. He said he wanted to go but his behaviors all night were filled with attitude including when bedtime happened. He didn’t want to go to bed. He refused to go at first. I am trying not to let every single action and reaction keep him from doing something but I want to work on his behavior before he becomes a teenager.
I am praying for sleep. I need sleep and I hope that he does too. Each night I remind him that he is amazing and that I love him. I want him to hear positive words before he goes to bed. We had about fifteen minutes where he sat with me and talked while playing on his tablet. These are the moments that always fill my heart with hope. Find hope in the little things and know that you are amazing. Smiles to all and donut daze!