What are you going to do at school today, I asked Owen as we stood to wait for the bus. I expected no reply. He answered, “ST Math and TeachTown”. My shock and amazement had to be heard throughout the countryside, but I was trying to keep it on the down-low with Owen. I didn’t want him to get caught up in my emotions. He doesn’t generally reply to questions like that. He’s starting to respond when I ask him questions about food, but it usually takes multiple times and I have to make him focus on me. I wanted him to keep talking. I asked him about the playground and the slide. He said, “no slide today”. I said, would you rather swing. He said, “wanna go to Kroger”. He’s been talking about the grocery store since his meltdown a few days back. He asks to go, but I’m not sure if he really wants to go. It’s one of the stores that we have gone a few times to and he didn’t have a meltdown, but we’ve also been there and it caused huge meltdowns later. He wanted to go one day after church, asking for ice cream I knew he didn’t want. We went, we did a little shopping, got his ice cream, came home, and after one bite he was done. “Yum yum”, he said, pushing it away from his lips. However, the container remained a focus of his attention for months. He would walk to the freezer, open the door, and talk about the ice cream, never wanting another bite. I often wonder if I should discourage or encourage his behaviors. But his unwritten rules dictate how our days go sometimes. One day at a time I tell myself, hoping to let go of those moments that keep me rooted in the past. I often reflect on those days though, letting them inspire me and remind me of where we’ve come from. Today my baby answered questions. The joy of that moment will carry me through the next moments yet to come. He may or may not answer me the next time I ask, but I’ll be ready when he can. Celebrate your victories. Even the tiniest of steps can lead to the biggest of victories. Know that you are important and grow in that moment. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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