I saw a glimmer of understanding from Owen this morning and I felt relief that he might comprehend that he isn’t going to school for a while or the rest of the year. I explained to him what he was doing for the day and he said, “stay home”. Through tired eyes, I rejoiced his words, but went on to explain what he would be doing for the day. I might be tired and didn’t sleep through the night, but my boy sure did, all night in his bed. More rejoicing there. And then he got in my bed after six and slept for another thirty minutes. At this point I’m overwhelmed and overthinking everything. By Thursday we will receive schoolwork for Owen. All I keep doing is praying for forward progress for him. The boundaries for the rules he has in place for what he can do with certain people and at certain times will have to be pushed over the next few weeks or maybe months. The walls are shifting and new rules are made to break his previous rules, but the process is not always overnight. Many of the rules are associated with sensory and food issues. Many times my mom has cooked food at her house, only to have Owen not want to even be in the same room as the food. But then she’ll send it home with me and he eats every bite of it. He does this with the food he eats at school as well. And he knows his foods and what he’s eating. I have been mixing some vanilla almond milk with his beloved chocolate milk because the store was out of chocolate. He took one sip of the mixture and said, “shockuwit mulk pwease”. I told him it was his chocolate milk. He drank it, but I knew he was going to keep asking about it. This morning I gave him a full glass of the chocolate milk and he said, “no vanilla white chocolate milk”. It always amazes me how his brain processes everything. Thankfully I was able to get more of his milk for him, but it is a concern. I have been working on getting him used to other choices, but it’s still a process. When we are out someplace he can only have water or apple juice. This was a huge transition for me to not bring his cup full of his milk, but I knew we had to make this adjustment. I have been working with him on this for months and he still asks every time for his chocolate milk. He is now adding that he gets “water when I’m out”. I count the victories. I rejoice those moments. I try to let go of the things I cannot change even though I know I’m clinging onto them tightly. Focus on the positive side of life and the rest will follow. Today and always know you are not alone. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.