Owen kept stopping on our way to the bus stop, wanting to hug me. I told him he could hug me once we got there. We got out of bed later than we should have so we were running a little behind, even though we still had plenty of time. We stood waiting for the bus and Owen was all smiles and happiness. He hugged me multiple times, playing with my hair, and saying, “big hug”. I don’t know if I understood how much I needed them too. Emotionally it has been rough the last few days. Nothing is calm, everything is happening, and the world is still spinning. But here is my little boy giving me exactly what I need. Yesterday was like throw potty training out the window day. He was dry all night though. The unexpected is the expected for me and I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop or the screaming to happen. He’s been doing really great at school and for this I am thankful. When I picked him up from school he was calm in the car until I turned right at a stoplight. He was yelling “turn right” but as soon as I did he started crying, loud crying. He was upset when only a few minutes before he was saying “momma change” meaning he was ready to go home. This is when it’s hard. He says many words but he doesn’t always know how to express his feelings. I think back to when he couldn’t express himself at all. The screaming, hitting, and anger was a constant struggle for us. He stopped crying almost as quickly as it started and he was back to being happy we were heading home. The afternoon had flown by and we’ve played a lot. Through struggles I still see progress. His emotions are my emotions and I always pray for good days. Find your strength, push forward, and make today matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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