I woke up with a start. Owen was yelling at me. I really couldn’t even comprehend what he was saying. I looked at the clock. It had a three in it. Without my glasses, I couldn’t see exactly what time it was but certainly not time to wake up and definitely not time for him to be screaming at me. I was still way too asleep to be thinking about what he was yelling about. I sat up and he calmed down. He wanted his tablet. I told him no and my being awake got that potty train rolling. This made Owen even madder. It didn’t matter. I had to go. Sometimes I forget that I’m in charge and have to run the ship even if I think I’m going to run it aground. I told him that we don’t yell at each other and that we were going back to bed after he went potty. Oh boy, that was fun. More screaming. I had put my glasses on and realized it wasn’t even three o’clock. His screams rock me during the day but at night it’s like ice on my spine. You don’t know why or how long the screams are going to last. And it’s the middle of the non-sleeping night momma can’t think through every scenario. Somehow I convinced him to get back in bed. He was asleep in seconds. Me, every single noise was a noise. All I can do is pray. He seems to only sleep through the night right now if I sleep in his bed. At least one of us gets sleep. It’s like sleeping with an octopus that wants to explore all the ends of the earth while reciting French, thinking about being at a football recital that doesn’t know if it should be playing a game or dancing the waltz. So I’m tired. He woke up refreshed and ready to party. I opened a drawer in the kitchen. He yells, “you done”, comes rushing into the kitchen, and slams the drawer closed. He can’t handle any of the drawers being open at all now. I go back and forth with him explaining that drawers can be opened and then they are closed. I let him open them, close them, we work on the timing of how long the drawers can be open, I’ve named the drawers and I’ve even begged him to get over it. That last one didn’t even register for him. It’s the process. Not long ago the door lock bothered him so he has moved forward. Tomorrow will be a brand new day. His smile, hugs, and random “I wuv ewe” throughout the day is what keeps me going. Give yourself credit for moving forward. Today is a stepping stone for tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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