My daily reminder is to keep moving forward. I get stuck on the coulda, woulda, shoulda beens. All of it. Sometimes I forget to give myself the kindness and grace I always remind Owen that we need to give others. The day felt rough around all the edges. He had a pretty good day but I wanted to cry about everything. Some days are harder than others when I still sit here missing my brother. He was the only other person that knew my mom’s heartbeat like I do. I tried to think of all the positive stuff today. I suppose that helped. Owen and I both slept. That was a good start to our day. We had a few little glitches to get ready but he wanted to get outside to wait on the bus or better yet run from the stop sign and down to the light. I talked to him about boundaries and listening to me when he was outside. I want him to have independence but I want him to also be very aware of his surroundings. He started trying to skip and run to the light down the street. He is constantly picking up stuff off the ground so I always remind him not to pick things up. In general, it’s not a problem when he would pick up something like a leaf but if he sees food or anything, he will pick it up off the ground and put it in his mouth. I worry that he will eat something or take something off the ground that he shouldn’t. He kept watching for the bus to come around the corner, and he was starting to worry that it wasn’t going to come so he said that “the bus wasn’t going to come until the snow came again.” When he got home from school I asked him if he wanted to go do anything listing all of his favorites, and he wanted to take a bath. When he walked in the door, he immediately took his coat off and then walked over to the table to make sure the radio wasn’t there. He started asking for a bath again. I said sure if he didn’t want to go anywhere. The bath was pretty much immediate. He wanted to bite his toes in the bath. I’m not sure why this is becoming something he regularly wants to do. He was calm the rest of the night but didn’t want to eat much of his dinner. His prayer was quick and to the point. “Dear God, thank you for mom and bowling, Amen,” he said. He yawned as soon as he got home, so it was not a late night at all for him. Once he was in bed he didn’t come out to tell me good night I’m thankful for his smile and that always gets me through my day. I’m hoping for another great night of sleep for my Sweet Baby O. Believe in your dreams, and let your heart follow the path. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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