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Hence Saturday

8/14/2021

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“Church tomorrow”, Owen belted out almost singing it. The emotional rollercoaster was in full force today. He woke early but when he woke he was happy and very talkative. This was the second time we were awake and he was awake for the day. I quickly figured out he was on edge though. He needed everything to be exactly as he wanted it. Saturdays are for going to grandma’s house, bowling, and the coffee shop, but before we could even walk out the door Owen was telling me “no bowling today”. I thought he will change his mind as the day goes on. He then told me “no park today”. Sometimes he goes to the park with his grandma. I told him we were going to get ready and leave in a few minutes. And there it came “no grandma’s today”. He went on “wanna stay home”. I told him if he wanted to stay home we could. He then started repeating “grandma”. This is where it is all hard. I know he loves spending time with his grandma but sometimes getting there is half the process. It’s the fine line of do I listen to his words or do I go ahead with the plan. I told him we could stay home and I sat down. He came to me, asking for grandma again, almost pleading to go. We got ready and we started driving there. The closer we got the more directions he gave. I try to explain to him that he doesn’t need to worry about the stoplights that we will get there. He wanted me to go straight at a light we normally turn at. I went straight. The closer we got to the next light the more he started getting anxious. He was talking about a door and buildings. I wasn’t sure what he was referring to but he gets directions in his mind and he wants to go specific ways. He wanted me to turn but he also wanted me to go to the light. When I turned he immediately started screaming. “Turn around”, he yelled and started crying. This is what’s so hard. He’s going to his grandma’s, he’s going the direction he requested, and he’s struggling with seeing everything he needs to see in its right place. “Wanna go home”, he yelled. I told him I would take him home. He then started crying for grandma. I told him he could still go to see her. The closer we got to her house the more he cried out directions. He wanted me to “turn right at the fire hydrant”. There was no fire hydrant around. He kept giving me directions and I kept driving. When we got there he told me again “no bowling today” and “wanna go home”. I told him we could go home. I gave him a big hug and then he went to stand beside his grandma. He stayed. I wasn’t sure how long he would stay but after a little bit, he was fine. When I came to pick him up he went back and forth on bowling. I decided to come home. I didn’t want him to struggle with us going bowling. Driving home was not as hard on him as it was earlier but he still had very specific directions in his mind. He calmed down once again when we got home. He was watching Disney Junior in Spanish. I asked him what they were saying and he told me it was about a dog. Later on, he started reading his English written book in Spanish. The day ended emotionally for him, crying and giving directions in bed. My heart hurts knowing he had such a hard day. He mentioned church again and then finally fell asleep. I pray he gets rest tonight. I hope tomorrow is a better day for him. Find your strength, push forward, and know that tomorrow is a brand new. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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    I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.

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