The heaviness of the day floated over me from the minute I woke up. It is possible to have a calmly chaotic day with a sprinkle of where’s the coffee for support mixed right in. I wait for the screams and I wait for the noise that’s going to cause the screams. Trying activities with Owen and for him doesn’t always equal fun for either one of us. And yet you push through it to find success at some point. People say this gets easier. I say this gets different. Our journey, our story is not always easy to explain but the love sure is. Owen was up I think around four. It might have been three but I tried to not look at the clock. He went to the bathroom, got his tablet, and sat under his blanket on the couch. The key to all of this was he was as quiet as he could be at three o’clock or four o’clock in the morning. I waited until this morning to tell him that he was going to his grandma’s house while I went to an appointment. I knew the questions would come immediately and keep coming until we walked out the door. We got ready and out the door, we went. The car had rain on it. This upsets him greatly. I would love to say having a garage would help this but when we are out and it rains the same thing happens. He couldn’t process opening the wet door and we needed to get going. I’m trying to get him to understand the rain on the door won’t hurt him. I told him it was like bath water and he loves baths. This was the first time he repeated “bath water” when I tried to explain this. He got in the car but he was too focused on the rain on the car to attempt putting on his seatbelt. Every day I tell him he has to put his seatbelt on but he’s not there yet. We got to Grandma’s and he was happy. He was there a few hours and I went to pick him up. His words and connections are amazing but I don’t always understand the connections at first. Today was full of new connections to be made and a connection happened to something I have been trying to figure out. “Lips” and “lizards” are two words he says as we go through an intersection that he used to always say it was raining even when it wasn’t. I know one day I’ll figure it out but today the big connection was made. He keeps telling me he wants me to “turn right at the skeleton.” I leapt for joy when he brought me the newly installed maps app and he showed me the “skeleton.” His brain is beyond brilliant, beyond. The picture he paints of the world around us is more vivid than he can even explain yet. The building he showed me has windows that have spaces between them. I can easily see how he looks at this building and see a skeleton. He showed it to me and said, “turn right at the skeleton.” He went on to tell me that it had a “hat on.” Again I had no doubt how the reference came about because over the window is a symbol that looks similar to what a pirate hat would look like on a skeleton. The tears of joy that are falling down my face make it almost impossible to write. He struggles with words and expressing himself but I know that every word that he does speak means something and I know what it takes for him to express each one of those feelings and words. Exhaustion doesn’t even begin to describe the state I’m constantly in but the faith and belief I have in my son outweighs all of this. Each day his story will continue to write itself and I pray for every step we take. The rest of the night I tried to not upset the apple cart and he was very calm until I suggested it was bedtime but he was out within minutes. Life starts now. The greatest gift you can give yourself is the faith to believe you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. Believe in yourself and the rest will follow. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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