Owen felt calmer with a high-strung attitude all day. I felt anxious with a desire to find calm. The rains have struck and the flooding has begun. Add it to the next stage of the weather phenomenons that keep happening. I am not a fan of rain. It turns my tortoise speed into a snail’s pace. My body does not like the rain at all. It’s like a sponge and sends all my conditions into a four-way stop and none of them want to go. I was born with a condition called hemihypertrophy where my right side is larger than my left. I also have Hashimoto’s which is a thyroid condition and sprinkle in a little severe arthritis and you got a trifecta of fun, especially on these rainy days. But as I always say, we all got something and each day we can choose to let it control us, or we can find ways to still smile. And Owen helps that smile stay big and bright. He seems like he has grown a foot over the last few days, maybe not quite that much but he is truly growing. I was waiting for his next memory request to surface and he started talking about our beloved coffee shop, another Saturday tradition that has been put on hold. “I’m not going to the coffee shop today”, he repeated throughout the day. No, my sweet baby O, not today. My fears of how he would react if everything shuts down again keep me from taking him too many places. The sadness sits in my heart knowing that he was devastated for days, weeks, months when all of this first started happening. I would hold him and he would cry or scream off and on all day. How do you explain the unexplainable. It felt like Owen was understanding more as I was telling him why we weren’t doing different activities but maybe it was me hoping that he would find a way to cope with all of this. He gets to go to school tomorrow and as I wrote that I said a prayer after the fear washed over me like the rain. He fell asleep easily but I know he won’t sleep through the night. I long for him to get a better night’s rest. One day at a time I remind myself, knowing that today was a pretty good day for my sweet baby O. And boy did that dude eat and he serenaded me with some songs in every language he knows. Sometime in the middle of somewhere, I found a dream, and the inspiration comes from the smile he gives me every day. Set your goals, check them off one by one, and make today matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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AuthorI'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart. Archives
December 2023
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