How many bubbles can I blow to keep the meltdowns from happening and when is bedtime keeps running through my mind. One minute meltdowns the next minute Owen was happy as a lark. And I kept blowing bubbles to distract him. For several days words were really hard for him and tonight there are so many words flying right at me that I can’t even process them all but he doesn’t understand why and they weren’t all connected. He was getting upset with me because I couldn't find something on his tablet. I told him I was trying to help him but we had to work together to find it. He was asking me for several different videos all at the same time. I couldn’t make him understand that what he was saying would not pull up. He loves for me to use the voice-activated option but it still wasn’t pulling up what he wanted and he started screaming again. I could see him struggling with every emotion. He said, “sorry mommy” without me prompting him or before I could even try to answer him. My heart ached for him. He kept trying to do the same actions and waiting for my same reactions. So I sat. Every single thing upset him. I didn’t even realize I was clicking my fingernail and he started screaming about the clippers and “makEee de noise”. He cried, he screamed, he cried some more. He couldn’t process it all. It felt like he was three again with all the screams, the ear-piercing screams that always went straight to my soul. My poor baby. And all the emotions we both have. It seems like when he is going through a huge learning curve his emotions become stronger. Today feels like it proved that. One day at a time I remind myself. Sometimes one second at a time. He fell asleep in my arms, crying. I think we both were. Today will be but one memory. Keep pushing past what’s stopping you from your dreams. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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