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Will It Wednesday

1/6/2021

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I wondered how I could be this tired. And then I remembered, I haven’t slept in days. Sure a few hours here and there but boy, oh boy, this has been a hard week on my sweet baby O. I’ve seen the progress though and I know it has been hard for him returning to school. As much as he loves the routine and absolutely loves the bus, school, and his teacher it’s all still hard. His teacher sets a lot of expectations for Owen and he thrives with it but it’s also a matter of getting back into the routine and making sure he is really going to school. He questions me constantly about it. “School”, he says in question form. As soon I tell him he has to go to sleep and then he will ride the bus to see his teacher he gets defensive or starts screaming. We then talk about it and he starts asking all over again. He cries for his teacher. And my heart aches not being able to reassure him one hundred percent. He reads me like a book so I’m sure he hears the uncertainty in my voice. My knowing he started again but it could be taken away from him at anytime always makes me struggle trying to say for certain he will be continuing to go to school. Our night was long, my day has felt longer, and I dread bedtime but can’t wait for it all in the same thought. He had woken up around three, got in my face, I believe singing about Jake and the Never Land Pirates in French, and then proceeded to tell me he was ready for school. He started in about his tablet again. I could not face him screaming at me for hours again. What rules do you try to enforce is always my question but last night my answer was have at it. I did tell him that if he chose to have his tablet that he had better leave one on the charger so he would have it for later. I’m trying to make him understand why he needs it charged. He understands when “it die needs battery” but not the complete process of keeping it charged. He’s yelling at the TV in Spanish while watching French, counting to ten. I always thought he saw all languages as one language and every day I think he is proving that theory more and more. I hear his voice very loud and clear today as he slowly as the voice-activated option in YouTube to find a video in French. Be bold, be beautiful, be you. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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    I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.

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