The best news of the day was Owen slept all night. I mostly slept and for me, that is more than I generally get. When he woke he immediately said, “No upper night tablet tablet grandma blue pants baseball.” And so the day began.

Autism is as much about how I handle it as it is about Owen having it. This on most days means we both need a lot of patience. This morning was one of them.

No matter how well I plan or don’t plan it always seems like I’m running late until I’m not and then I feel like I’m running late. Even on my good days, a snail would pass me about ten times before I could even walk to the front of the house. I forget sometimes how slow I truly am anymore because of the hemihypertrophy (the right side of my body is larger than the left side of my body) and arthritis I have.

I told Owen I was taking the stuff to my car and then when I came back in I would finish getting ready and he needed to put on his shoes so we could go. When I asked him to put on his shoes he told me he did. When I asked him if he put on his shoes he said he did but I wasn’t looking at his feet since he was in a different room. He hadn’t. He came to the door with no shoes on. We then had to make the whole shoe decision at this point. Truly it wasn’t long but I wanted him to understand if he needs help he has to ask and not tell me he did something when he knows he didn’t.

We got in the car and off we went to his game. We talked about his shoes again and I that his grandma would be at the baseball field since I was going to my book signing. I reminded him that she would be wearing different clothes than he wanted. We are trying to get him to not focus on clothes but it is still hard. Thankfully he let it go pretty quickly and my mom told me he had a lot of fun playing.

After my event was over I went to pick Owen up from his grandma and we headed home. He didn’t get to go on a long car ride with his grandma because of his behavior in her car. I told him on the way home if he acted up in the car he would not have his tablet when he got home. He was very well-behaved and only told me he was going to “act up at de red light” once but did behave.

The night was full of conversations about his days ahead and I reminded him that he could talk about the days if he gave me more detail than saying only “school” or “church.” I want him to process that he needs to explain why he wants something or how it is important to him, hoping that will help him with conversation techniques.

Bedtime came with our usual fanfare. He knows it is time for bed but wants to not go even though he wants all of the activities to happen for the days ahead. I’m thankful for the progress he is making and the amazing day I had. Let today be your stepping stone for an amazing future. Smiles to all and donut daze!

We slept all night. Oh, how I needed it. And so did Owen. He slept later than I did and even slept through some of my noise. He woke with a mission and I could almost guarantee what the first words out of his mouth were going to be.

“Pool,” he said after he talked about not being “upper night.” I told him that we could go to the pool when he got home from school because he slept all night. It didn’t take him long to grab his tablet and talk to me about everything else that was happening.

He was in a good mood and was ready to get to school so he could get back home to go to the pool. He wants to jump off the diving board but I won’t let him until he is ready. I have given him all the rules, he knows the rules, but it’s more about the confidence he needs in himself before I will let him try to jump off the diving board.

He got home from school and there were dark clouds but I prayed they would go quickly by so there was no lightning. I got him ready and off we went. He talked about the diving board all the way there. We went in and he told me all the steps he had to do to get to the pool and to jump off the diving board.

We got in the pool and he said, “Diving board” or his instructions pretty much every few moments we were there. He tried jumping off the edge numerous times but even as many times as he has done it he still wants to hold my hand. I try to make him understand he can do it, he has done it, and he has to do it on his own because I won’t be able to hold his hand on the diving board. He wants this so much but I can’t let him do it until he can jump off the side without a problem and be able to breathe underwater for more than a second.

The best part of the whole adventure was him standing on the ladder, about ready to jump off, and he counted to three with his fingers without me even prompting him. I immediately started crying. There is no greater gift than seeing my amazing son doing something that has always been so incredibly hard for him. I asked him if he could continue counting to ten with his hands and he did it. He slowly pulled them all up counting them as he went. It is a beautiful thing to see such growth.

He wanted to get Chick-fil-A on and he devoured it quickly once we got home. The night was pretty calm except for his concern about how his tomorrow would go. He is supposed to go to his baseball game while I go to my book signing event. His grandma is going to meet us at the field. He wanted to make sure she would be in blue pants so I’m praying that he isn’t “upper night” worrying about it and he has an amazing day.

The gift of seeing him count always makes my heart soar but to see him do it without me asking him was absolutely amazing. The littlest of things can be the hugest of victories and this is one of the hugest. Celebrate your victories no matter how big or small celebrate them all. Smiles to all and donut daze!

We slept. I needed it. I fell asleep very early last night and I sure know Owen needed it. He woke up a little before he needed to get ready and he thankfully was listening well to instructions.

He decided he wanted to wear every shirt but the one shirt he was wearing. He ultimately decided to wear his “rainbow shirt” but told me he wanted the other ones for tomorrow. He also wanted to know what his best friend was going to wear today and I told him there was no way I would be able to tell him. I want him to understand that connection.

We made our way out to the bus and he was concerned because I told him I was not bringing his tablet for him today because of his behavior last night. He wanted me to tell him I would bring it. I feel like he is making huge connections to his behavior so I wanted him to continue to understand the reward system with how he behaves.

I picked him up from school for his therapy and he was concerned because of his tablet. I told him that if he behaved then he could have it when we got home. He did great on the way to therapy and listened when I told him to not tell me how to drive. He is very opinionated about how everyone should drive especially for a non-driver.

I went in with him to his therapy so I could talk to his therapists about new strategies to work on and see his progress. He was able to cross his hand to his knee many times in a row. I see progress and I feel his growth. I’m very thankful for his steps.

The night was full of twists and turns but he remained calm after I talked to him about going back out. He instead wanted to take his bath and talked about riding the bus home tomorrow. He wants to go swimming when he gets home but he knows he has to sleep tonight. I pray he sleeps tonight and I’m thankful for how well he is doing at therapy. Love with all your heart, grow from your day, and create new memories tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!

“Upper night” was our claim to fame this morning. Owen was very concerned that he was not going to ride the bus home but how do you convince him he will when the last few weeks have not been regular at all? Each day I try to find ways to explain that life happens when you have something else planned.

It wasn’t one of those quiet up all nighters. He was excited but more in an anxious way. He wanted to go swimming but when he is up all night I’m up all night most of the time so today was going to be in slow motion for me.

I fixed him some breakfast and waited for my glorious coffee. He wanted me to go back to bed so he could come with me to play his game. I was thankful he was listening to me more about the volume. Some days the volume is so loud I can’t even think. I am working with him to get him to understand he cannot turn up the volume that loud but it is a process.

We got ready for school and went to wait for the bus. I told him that we weren’t going swimming since he was up all night. I knew I would be exhausted and if anything didn’t go the way he needed it to while we were there it would be hard on him. The bus came around the corner and off he went with a pep in his step that I sure didn’t have for being up as long as he was.

When he came home from school he asked about the pool and then he said, “on Friday.” He added that we couldn’t go if he was “upper night” and I agreed. He was very calm though and that kept our night moving forward.

He sat with me so I could play his game with him. He wanted me to play it but by his rules. He likes it when I do certain actions or wait for the game to go through all the scenarios before I continue. He was happy and that made me happy.

The rest of the night was full of food, fun, and music. I am happy he was in a good mood and I’m praying that he sleeps all night. I know he is concerned about the return of his routine and hopefully, tomorrow will be the day of his dreams with all his therapies. I see his progress and I’m thankful. Be happy in your victories and celebrate the steps to get there. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Waking up is hard to do when you want to sleep in but that is how our mornings go sometimes. Owen slept until around five. It wasn’t too early but I could have slept a lot longer. He at least was pretty calm when he woke up and he was ready for some breakfast.

School was the second thing on his mind after getting his tablet. He wanted to know when he was going to school and who he was seeing. It is hard for me to explain that I can never be sure who he is going to see. How do you explain sick days and things like appointments? He knows how they are for him but he still wants everyone else in their places.

We got ready and went outside to wait for the bus. I told him that we would be going to the pool tomorrow or Friday but he still wanted to tell me about it and ask to go today. The bus came around the corner and the jumping began. I love how happy he gets when he sees the bus. He got on the bus and off they went.

The story didn’t change when he got home. He wanted to go swimming and he wanted me to know he wanted to go swimming. I told him again that we could go tomorrow.

I fixed his snack and he was very calm until our internet kept going in and out. We had another storm pass through and I think it may have affected our internet connection. Slow internet is not our friend and he made sure I knew about it.

He didn’t eat much for dinner but he ate a lot of snacks. Some days it is give and take with food but I am the same way. As we were getting ready for bed he requested “corn juice and pancakes with a fork.” He watched a video that all of the foods are made up of foods so I believe he might be making up some.

Nighttime came with the usual flare and he didn’t want to go to bed but he sure did want to go swimming tomorrow so I convinced him to go to bed. I’m thankful for a pretty calm day. Finding laughter in the little things makes the world a brighter place. Find your laughter and share it with the world. Smiles to all and donut daze!

The hardest part is the hardest part. And working through behaviors can be hard for Owen to even understand. I want him to know he doesn’t have to do a behavior that he knows is wrong only because he thinks we need to talk about it. Yesterday was full of these moments and I’m hoping that they are something we can move past.

Thankfully he slept all night and was happy about his day ahead. He couldn’t wait to get to school to see his friend but more importantly to get through school so he could go to music and his grandma’s house.

He had a few minutes before he had to get dressed. He wanted me to stay in my room so he could play with his tablet with the volume all the way up. This is one of those behaviors that no matter how many times I tell him to keep the volume down he wants it extremely loud. There is no convincing him to listen to this.

We got ready and out to wait for the bus we went. He wants to wear blue pants all the time but now he has decided he likes lighter blue jeans and not darker denim. I keep trying to get him to understand that he has grown out of his other pants and now this is what he has but he wants all of his old pants back.

I picked him up from school and he only wanted to talk about going to music and grandma’s house. I tried to ask him what he did at school and this was not something he wanted to discuss. I decided to ask him what he ate at school and he told me he had potatoes for breakfast, lunch, and his snack. I have a hard time getting him to eat it for one meal let alone three so it was back to him only saying grandma and his music therapist’s name.

He did good at music therapy and on the way to grandma’s house, he was able to tell me what they did. His focus was a little better then but he still had one thing on his mind and that was getting to Grandma’s house. He had a good time there and he is ready to go back.

The rest of the night went quickly and he was calm. He is ready for his days ahead. I am hoping the exercises we work on will help him focus more in the moment. I have to remember one day at a time and I am focusing on the progress he has made. Focus on the good stuff and believe in the possibilities for tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Owen slept all night. Right there is one major rejoicing victory. He woke with a mission and that was to see one of his favorite people at church and to talk about seeing his grandma tomorrow. He was calm and that made me happy.

His tablet wasn’t even his first business at hand. He wanted me to tell him who was going to be at church. I was hoping all of his favorite people would be there but you never know. I can’t promise or tell him something but he always wants me to.

We are working on more strategies to get him to change his focus but it’s hard to distract him from his mission. He can’t let go of his future moments and then when he is in those moments he is ready for the next ones. Getting him to enjoy the now is as difficult as getting him to focus on today and not even only saying the words “focus on today.”

We got ready for church. He looked at my jeans with judging eyes that I wish I could get him to understand is hard on him. Focusing on my blue pants keeps him rooted in hard moments. I have learned he likes lighter blue jeans and would prefer them to have strings. It is amazing how his brain processes everything. He is cycling back through the hard days with this. If someone isn’t wearing the pants he wants he doesn’t let go. I’m thankful the meltdowns are gone for now though. I thought I overthought things before but now I am constantly looking ahead to prevent meltdowns before they even happen.

Owen got to see one of his absolutely favorite people at church today. This was a day-making experience for him. If I have learned anything from him it is to love your people well. He takes friendships with a passion that we should all have. When he sees someone that he loves it is one of those moments that will bring him joy for the rest of his day. Love big and know that it matters as much to them as it does to you.

He got his milk out of the refrigerator. That always feels like progress. Today felt rough though. Even when he was mostly calm he still continued to ask about what he was doing tomorrow. He throws out words wanting me to answer him every single time he says it. “Grandma,” he yelled, wanting me to tell him again that he was going tomorrow. The rollercoaster of my own emotions sits there knowing that if I don’t answer him he will say it again or have a meltdown. I pray for his calm and mine.

I’m hoping for a week back to routine and no more storms to keep him from school. He needs a great week. I pray for that for all. Find your happiness and share it with the world. Smiles to all and donut daze!

A little early on a Saturday is a lot better than a lot early on a Saturday. The one bathroom thing strikes again but at least Owen didn’t get up right away when he heard me. He went back to sleep for about thirty minutes and then came to get his tablet. He was very quiet after that and let me sleep for about another hour. It felt huge, especially for a Saturday.

Today was baseball day, baseball day. It was a toss-up of how it would go. I kept talking to him about it and I showed him his new glove. He was hooked when he saw his glove. He was ready to go from the minute he woke up. He was also ready to go to grandma’s house but I didn’t want to tell him that he probably wasn’t going until tomorrow or Monday because of the flooding that occurred. I figured I would leave that until after we went to baseball.

He ate his first breakfast and then requested some chicken. Second breakfast it was and then we needed to get ready for his big day. He scarfed down his food which he rarely does and within a few minutes, we were out the door.

I gave him his glove inside the house and he wanted me to help him put it on. He doesn’t understand how to put his fingers in it yet but I’m sure he will be able to work through it soon. Technically he didn’t need it but I was glad he had it. He wore his glove all the way to the field.

We got to the field early but he couldn’t wait to get out on the field. I told him he had to wait until it was his turn. The younger kids played first and then it would be his turn. He wanted to “lay down under the bleachers.” I told him he couldn’t lay down under the bleachers so he laid down on the concrete near the bleachers. That was better than the rocks I talked him out of and the mud on the way in.

It was his turn to get out on the field and he was so excited. They assign buddies to the kids if they need help and Owen had a wonderful helper. Plus, everyone who was on the field was also helping to guide him through the steps.

He was able to hit the ball off the tee and his helper showed him how to run to the bases. When they got out on the field he played in the shortstop position and he also decided to sit on the pitcher’s mound. The thing is it was all fine and he had an amazing time.

When we left there we came home. Lots of food and playtime was how we spent the rest of our day. He wanted me to play games with him and he enjoyed sitting with me and talking about his day. I asked him if he liked playing baseball and he said yes. I then asked him if he wanted to go back next week and he said yes. I think that answers the question if he likes baseball.

I’m so glad he had a good day and he was very calm for most of it. He is excited about going to church tomorrow and said he wants to ask several people to come to one of his games. That makes me even happier. Today was one of those victory days and I’m thrilled. Find what you love and go after it. Dreams do come true. Smiles to all and donut daze!

“Upper night” happened but fortunately it was at least a quieter night and no screaming or lights turning on and off. I heard Owen’s tablet and then I heard him laughing. He came around the corner and I said it’s nighttime. He said, “Tablet” and walked back to his room.

Last night there was major flooding all through our state. The town we live in and so many close by were all hit hard. The county at first had a two-hour delay for schools but then this morning they changed it to remote learning because so many couldn’t get to school. We had an appointment this morning so he was already going to be late if he had gone to school. Remote learning is hard for him but his teacher emailed papers for him to work on. We completed them after his appointment.

Thankfully we didn’t get flooded and the roads to Owen’s appointment were fine. My heart breaks for all that are going through this. We had a good appointment and the doctor can see great progress for him. We talked about some strategies for how to get him to focus more on the now and living in the moment. We are going to work with a behavioral specialist as well on other exercises.

When we left there he wanted to go get pancakes. I was excited that he wanted to go to breakfast with me. He handled it like a champ even when his tablet went out while we were eating.

He is excited about starting baseball tomorrow but he also told me he didn’t want to go so we will see how the night goes. He has his first practice. Every time he talks about it being baseball he says he wants to do soccer so we will see what happens when he is there. I think he will have fun though and he will have a buddy that helps him during the practice and games.

The rest of the day was filled with him asking about tomorrow, who he was going to see, if he was going to his grandma’s house, church on Sunday, and if he was going to school on Monday. I tried to answer yes to everything but several of those answers are possibilities and not for sure. He was much calmer today though so I’ll take it. I am thankful for his growth and all the amazing things he is learning. Let today be your stepping stone for an amazing tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Four is the new five and Owen was all about it. I expressed to him that four o’clock in the morning was still nighttime and he informed me that all the lights in the house should be on. We were awake.

Trying to convince him that I mean business when I say he should go back to bed just gets him more elevated and upset quicker. It isn’t something that he gets through quickly. And telling him what time it is doesn’t help either. He took his tablet and he turned the lights back off. I was awake though.

He was calm after that. I started thinking about our day ahead. The storms they predicted could once again throw a wrench into our routine. It is hard to explain to him why everything is so different and his schedule is disrupted. We got ready for school and out to wait for the bus we went. We talked about his day ahead and everything that he wanted to do. I reminded him that we needed to tell the bus driver he wouldn’t be going to school in the morning because of his appointment. Within a few minutes, he was off to school to see his best friend.

I got the call that the schools were closing early. They didn’t want the kids out in the storms on the way home and trying to prevent a repeat of the week before when they were in school during it. I went to pick up Owen and we headed home.

I wasn’t sure if his therapy would get canceled because of those storms but I figured they would probably watch to see what was happening with the schools and weather. Therapy was canceled and I let him know we weren’t going. He told me they were “broken” and “they gotta get a new one.” I told him it was only temporary and he would get to go back to school tomorrow and therapy next week. I prayed and prayed and prayed this was right and the storms would go away.

He was on overdrive about his appointment in the morning. He was very worried about it being canceled and he wanted to make sure we were going. He repeated every few moments with me. I finally told him if he mentioned it again I would take his tablet. I am trying new tactics to see if he will think through it differently. He came to me with tablet in hand, he said, “Doctor” and quickly turned around and walked off. It worked for now. Praying he makes these connections. He gets hyper-focused on something and he can’t move forward. Hopefully, the doctor can help us work through more strategies as well.

He is excited about going swimming after school tomorrow. I told him that he had to sleep tonight or we would not be going. I explain behavior and actions again hoping that the more I talk to him about it the more connections will be made. He said he was going to play baseball on Saturday. I was so glad he mentioned it. I hope he enjoys it. I’m thankful for his progress and his amazing spirit that shines through. Never give up on the hope for tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!