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Ahead Wednesday

9/7/2022

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Owen came to my bed around four again. Or maybe it was two. All the hours seem to be the same. Thankfully we both fell back asleep but then one of us slept in one direction in the bed and the other slept across the bed with his foot in my back. I gave up trying to move him or sleep because he kept going right back to the same spot. He was ready to go to school and I didn’t even attempt to wear anything different than the required blue pants. He was also very happy with my pink and white striped shirt choice and he let me know it. He kept talking about how my shirt was pink and “kinda a white kinda a grey stripe.” He probably could tell me what I was wearing every day the last year. He doesn’t forget a thing. As we were heading to the bus stop he talked about wanting to go for a “walk in the little red wagon see a firefighter.” “When you get home we can go for a walk,” he went on. He goes back and forth on how he references himself. He will say, “hi Owen you can say hi Owen.” He wants people to talk to him but he isn’t sure what to say to them. As soon as he came home after school and got off the bus he said, “let’s go for a walk let’s go for a walk in the little red wagon wanna see a firefighter.” I told him we would go inside first so he could have a snack and then we would go for our walk. I want Owen to be able to know he can go to the fire station any time he wants or needs them but I also don’t want him to think every time we go for a walk we will go to the fire station. Plus, I don’t want him to think that every time we go he gets to sit in the fire truck. I need him to understand we can’t always do exactly the same thing even if we want to. We got to the station and the same firefighter was there that we talked to last time and we also saw a few others. I told him Owen really wanted to come back and see him and had talked about him every day since we saw him last. I explained to him that we came for a quick visit and he wasn’t going to get in the truck this time because then it would set in the routine and they would have a full-time assistant since he would want to be there every day. They all totally understood. This time Owen got to see the lights. He said, “man put the seatbelt on me room up.” He wanted to get in the truck. I’m not sure why he started saying “room up” when he means getting into a vehicle or going upwards but that’s what he says. This time he got a yellow hat. I once again was so thankful for how patient and kind he was with Owen and he made sure we went by the doorbell again. When we left we walked by the windows and the eagle wall. He was very talkative and observant. Makes me so happy to hear his words. He told me all about the weather and that “it’s September seven two thousand and twenty-two not three.” He went on, “it’s almost fall and partly cloudy.” We kept walking by people and he would say, “hi Owen you can say hi Owen.” He wants them to say hi and he wants to say hi to them. When we came around the corner the wind picked up and he started talking about the weather again. “It’s windy” and then he put his hand on his new fireman hat and told me he didn’t want it to blow away. We got home and I once again was thankful for the kindness of others. We saw a man that Owen wanted to talk to but he was on his phone. He hung up and started talking to him. He realized Owen didn’t know exactly how to answer him so he kept going with both sides of the conversation. I was thankful for these moments and I’m thankful for the day. The night flew by with pizza for dinner, many talks about our walk, and about school and therapy tomorrow. My days are filled with a rollercoaster ride of emotions but it is days like this that keep me moving forward. Never give up on the hope for tomorrow. Miracles happen all around us. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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    I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.

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