Some days I’m more thankful for the joy that has come with painting than I can even describe. It feels like an emotional blob sitting on the canvas but that works for my soul. I never imagined the feelings I would have from this experience. And knowing that Owen is helping me create works of art takes my emotions to a whole other level. After a year of painting together, I can see that he is starting to get the concept of strokes and how to paint the backgrounds. Some days it’s a little more emotional for him as well. I try not to make him paint every day but I also want him to know that he is learning an amazing skill and helping mommy accomplish something. Last night, after bath time, I had Owen help me paint. It felt so exciting to me because he really was more focused on the strokes. His words told me he wanted to be done but his actions showed me how much he liked it and wanted to do it. There is always this fine line of when do I push him to do things or when do I wait back to see what will happen. The goal is always to teach him life skills and keep him away from having a meltdown. The in-between is letting him always do what he wants but that isn’t the answer either. He fell asleep quickly last night, albeit a little late, but he slept all night long. He was tired this morning but very happy. These are the days that I feel calmer. He’s even more opinionated now than he has ever been, barking commands at me to stay seated or change my clothes right away because his words come quicker now. But I don’t know that he still knows the connection or the impact of his words yet. And I don’t know that he completely understands the demands he is making in the context he is making them. However, the emotions for me are real. His screams of justification for things that I do or don’t do when he wants something still sits in my core. I try to move on from the emotional rollercoaster that I ride by thinking about the progress and where we are today. His smile, his joy, our triumphs, and our victories are what get me through our days. Life doesn’t come with this one size fits all manual but through it all there is love. Find your joy and know that today is one moment in time. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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