Owen woke happy, has been happy, and is screaming happy. Me, I’m trying to remember to not touch my face. We went for a walk and I didn’t touch anything except my own front door, our porch rail, and his stroller, but I’m still trying to not touch my face. This is one of those things that happens and then you go oh right don’t touch your face. Owen was beyond excited to go for our walk today. The wind pretty much blew us around it seemed. He has an incredible memory and he stores everything until he can explain. I started off our walk in a different direction hoping to keep him calmer with no meltdowns, but he still kept telling me which way he wanted to go. As we were walking he would say “eagle” every so often, but I was making no connection to it. He has an agenda every time we walk, but I really didn’t understand until today. Towards the end of the walk, I let him tell me the directions he wanted to go. His little finger would point left, right, or straight, only saying the correct direction occasionally. We turned the corner and he started saying “eagle” with even more enthusiasm. On the corner of the building is a huge mural with an eagle. I didn’t even think about it being there, but he sure did. That’s what he has wanted to see every day and when I don’t go the way he wants he misses the eagle. I think about everything else he wants, like the park that we can’t go to and my heart breaks a little more. He had a pretty good day. He even wanted to watch a video of someone he knew. I was thankful for this. It was quick, but he was fine with it and then he let me listen to another video friends sent to him. I was excited about his progress and no meltdowns. But I knew nighttime was coming. He cries for the day ahead and the lack of routine we miss. There are no words to describe my heartache for my little boy when walks are what he has to look forward to the next day. I have to remind myself this is one moment in time and to keep praying for a better tomorrow. I want to focus on his smiles, his laughs, his giggles as we play through our days. The goal is to make my baby as happy as I can when the world isn’t turning the way he thinks it should or I walk in the wrong direction. Focus on the positive side of life. Remember you are not alone and this too shall pass. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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