Some days all I’m trying to do is keep it together. Today was one of those days. Owen woke with a purpose and that purpose was “bowling bowling where’s my tablet please bowling bowling.” I heard him in his room talking and it wasn’t long until he was around the corner to me. And that was at five in the morning. He wants me to always answer “in a little bit.” If I say “later” that sends him into a tailspin thinking we aren’t going. And five in the morning until one in the afternoon when the bowling alley opens is a long time for it to be a little bit. Owen does not let me forget what he wants to do. From five o’clock in the morning until after noon when I told him we were getting dressed to go he asked every few minutes when we were leaving. At one o’clock only one of us was dressed and the other one was sitting at their computer yelling to go bowling but wouldn’t put the pants on that were right next to him. There are many times he can’t process getting ready to go. He wants to go, and he wants to talk about going, but then when it is the actual steps happening this is when it is hard. We left about an hour later than I planned but we were on our way. I knew going to the other bowling alley last week would throw a wrench in our adventures forward but I also know I have to push both of us to explore new places. He wanted to go to the “little bowling” alley until he remembered we could go to the “big bowling” alley. He had started calling the “little bowling” alley that before we went back to the other one and they are about the same size so I am not sure why he chose that name. Once we got inside he had so much fun and loved watching others play. When we left there we went to the “depot three times” and the “loopedy loop one times.” Once we left there we went to the “little park” but there were people playing basketball so we headed to our church parking lot so he could still ride his bike. This also upset him at first because he wanted to go to the park and going to our church on random days makes him think he is not going on Sundays. We got there and it was overcast. After a few minutes on his bike, we both felt the raindrops. I said a few extra little prayers as each drop came down. I needed this to be a learning experience and not a meltdown. He started looking more at my pants and his pants but the ride was more important. I thanked God a little more. I knew that we should still get ready to leave but I didn’t want to rush him either. I told him we would leave soon. I was so thankful he was able to ride a little longer and then get in the car without a huge meltdown. On the way home he wanted to go see the “brown underpass.” This was a new one to me. I guess that is for another adventure. The rest of the night was up and down and “church church church” was on his mind. Autism is as much about how I handle it as it is about Owen having it. My emotions were right there on my sleeve today. He got up numerous times after he went to bed because he heard me move and he wanted me to not move. I tried not to cry until he was asleep but I can only imagine how hard it is for him. I hold on to our rain victory and I watched him get excited when he was dancing with a video. He said, “I dance” and jumped up and down. That is years in the making and a lot of moving parts to get there. Be still in the moments of chaos and rest in your soul. This is where your strength will come from. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.