The sleep train has been wonderful lately. I’m beyond thankful. Owen woke knowing his bike was coming today. This is one of those seasoned rookie mistakes I make. Why on earth do I tell him something like this? I ask myself this question over and over. He has been really patient. His first bike was lost in shipping so I ordered a different kind. The problem is there are way too many variables about timing but for that moment he was very excited it was Tuesday and his bike was coming. Today was much better for him to get dressed and putting his shoes on. He was ready to get outside to wait for the bus so he could come home for his bike. He couldn’t wait to sit on the bike. He kept saying, “put it together gether gether” as we walked outside. Once we got to the sidewalk he said, “walk like a monkey oooo ahhh ahhh.” He bent over making the sound and walked forward for the very first time, all on his own, all of the steps. This was a huge victory. After reciting a few words in the different languages the bus turned the corner and the jumping began. He gets so excited to see the bus. He was just as excited when he got off the bus as when he got on it. He immediately started talking about the bike. He hugged me, and then he said, “ride a pony to the bridge flags.” I said you want to ride a pony to the bridge flags and he said, “bicycle.” This is how it usually goes. The bike was still in the box so he couldn’t see it, but he wanted to know if it was here and I said yes that I had to put it together, but it was here in the box. He open the lid to the pizza box and then closed it and kept asking where his bike was even though he was right next to it. Once I got him a snack he was ready to ride his bike. I still had to put it together though. The rollercoaster of emotions began. He wanted to make sure that his bike was there. I promised him that it was there. I just had to put it together. This went back and forth for a while. While he was eating a snack, I was able to put his bike together and then he sat in the kitchen eating his snack while sitting on his bike. I wasn’t sure how long it was going to take me to put the bike together so I didn’t know if we were going to be able to ride it today. I asked him if he wanted to go ride and he said, “dress on” which means he wanted me to change clothes. Periodically throughout the night, he would sit on his bike. I’m not sure if it’s the right style because he is used to a tricycle and this is a two-wheel with training wheels. With the pedals more traditionally up-and-down than a tricycle I’m not sure if he’ll struggle with it but I’m sure he will quickly get it. I promised him we would go ride tomorrow as long as the weather was calm. The night went by fast. He was very calm after the first official concerns about his schedule and the bike but he fell asleep after getting up once and coming to tell me that he was awake. I hope tonight is another great sleeping night and tomorrow we can go ride the bike when he gets home from school. His prayer tonight was once again for Thanksgiving. It’s amazing how much he has learned to go through and talk about his feelings and emotions. I’m thankful that he understands how important it is to express himself. I’m thankful for this journey with him and I’m thankful for everything that he has taught me. In this journey, there will be ups and downs, but it’s finding where your happiness is that will show you the ups are amazing. Celebrate your victories and know that you are amazing. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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It’s a process. It’s all a process. All of it. I have to remind myself I’m allowed to have emotions. Some days that’s hard. Some days I want to crawl into my pillow fort and stay. I love Owen’s words, I absolutely love Owen’s words, but there are days that they are exhausting because they are constant, constant. He has been sleeping like a dream. He woke in that state between wanting to be happy and wanting the world to slow down. The rollercoaster didn’t last too long and he was happy he was going to school but he absolutely could not process the getting ready part. He had a lot on his mind. He wanted to make sure he was going to his vision therapy today, that his bike was coming tomorrow if he was going to ride the bus on Wednesday, if “mommy pick me up on Thursday”, if he could see BeatBo robot on Friday at Chuck E. Cheese’s, and if he was going to “ride a unicycle to the bridge flags on Saturday” after he watched the basketball game. And I breathed. Plus, I told him to breathe. Days like this I get in circles. He needs me to go over and over and over his schedule. I try to explain to him not everything is written in stone but hopefully we can do all of these things to some capacity. He was thrilled when he got off the bus this afternoon because he knew after he ate his snack he was going to see the doctor for his vision therapy. I have to say I love the bond he has with his doctor and I’m truly thankful for so many amazing people in his life. He did great in his session and accomplished more exercises than they normally go through. He doesn’t focus very easily sometimes and as much as he wants to do the steps he asks to do the next exercise, play with his tablet, or tell us he is done. On our way home he wanted to make sure we drove by the windows and he said he wanted to ride a unicycle past them. This whole unicycle thing is going to be very interesting. He saw a unicycle on one of his apps and I think now he wants one of them. It would be incredible if he could learn to ride one. His request for chicken came in when we got home and he ate it all. Bedtime came quickly and he fell asleep once again in his bed all on his own. That truly is a glorious thing. Finding your calm in a whirlwind of life is something we need to practice daily. I absolutely am completely thankful for Owen’s words but keeping up with a genius that doesn’t forget a thing and expects you to remember it too is exhausting. Today, watching his therapy though I remembered how he would lay on the ground, screaming, staring at his hand, flapping it back and forth. And today he sings songs in French, plays the harmonica, and makes me smile as nobody else can. The victory comes in the tomorrow we face. Keep walking towards the victory. It may not happen overnight or even within a year but that victory will be that much sweeter. Smiles to all and donut daze!
We cling to the routine of what tumbles through our days. I know Owen’s world is so much calmer when his routine is in order and right now everything keeps changing for him. I know that I should prepare him for changes but that is easier said than done. It can take ten, twenty, one hundred times before something starts changing for him or until he understands an new objective. Sometimes quicker but in general it takes time. We both slept until about six. It felt glorious although I didn’t fall asleep until after one. He was ready for church but he wanted to know about his days ahead. He repeatedly asked me what he was going to be doing on Thursday and wanted to make sure that I was taking him to therapy. He also asked what day he was going to ride the bus who he was going to see and what days he was going to his doctor. It’s hard to explain that there aren’t always the same things going to happen each week but when it’s something he knows is repeatedly going to happen that makes it even harder. When we got to church, he started talking to me about the things while we were on the elevator. He said I had a “book of notes” and then went through all the people's legs we don’t touch. He wanted me to know that he wasn’t going to touch people's legs because they were wearing blue pants. He then told me all the people that weren’t wearing blue pants from the previous week. I have a feeling he could tell me who wasn’t wearing blue pants a year ago. He did great at church, and we came home with his chicken nuggets and cheeseburger in tow. He ate a lot all day long. At one point he asked me for chips and I said, “veggie straws or chips?” He said, “chips.” A few seconds later he said, “throw veggie straws in trash.” I was looking at the bike that I had ordered for him and it’s now arriving on Tuesday. He just happened to walk up right when I was looking at it and he saw it. He said, “sit bike sit on bike Tuesday” after I told him when it was going to arrive. He asked for fish tonight and when the buzzer went off he said, “the fish ready it gotta cool now it’s ready mommy fish ready.” I think he was hungry. I love these conversations and connections. Years ago when he would talk I would start jotting down all the things he said. I clung to each one of those words and they feel even more vibrant now. He got up a couple of times when it was bedtime. Part of the reason was the never ending light saga where he wants all the lights off in the house but he wants his bedroom light left on. I’m thankful for his progress and all the connections he’s making. Find hope in tomorrow, know that you can make a difference, and smile through it all. Smiles to all and donut daze!
Saturdays are made for sleeping in if you call a little after six sleeping in for Owen and me until four. It was a somewhat calm, somewhat chaotic morning. Owen was going to spend time with friends and I was going with my momma. She’s still sticking with the she fell out of the hot air balloon story but I have to say there was an elephant in the room with that story. But the good news she’s on the mend and I’m thankful for that. Owen didn’t want a lot for breakfast besides cereal but about thirty minutes before we were getting ready to leave he asked for shrimp. I made him some shrimp, he ate it all, and asked for more. We were both in slow motion it seemed but we got dressed and he picked up his helmet and put it on his head as we walked out the door. He told me he needed his helmet in case he got to ride a horse or a bike. Then he said he was going down the slide into the pool so he could get a basketball and put it in the hoop. He has a vivid imagination mixed with the reality of everything I have told him. He is still waiting for his new bike to come and since the other one got lost in shipping I am getting him a different kind. I told him he was going to a basketball game with our friends so he was very excited. I dropped him off with them and they continued to give me the play-by-play throughout the day. He had a wonderful time and I think more basketball games are in his future because when I picked him up, he told me he wanted to go back to the basketball game. He also told me that he was going to go again next week with them but I don’t think they know that yet. The boy has plans. I love how he works through his words. He said, “campfire frock frok frog marshmallow fork roast marshmallow on the fork.” I can tell how much he is growing and his words are getting stronger. He downloaded a Spanish and French app and was singing with the words on the one app. He asked me tons of times when we got home about his week ahead. He said, “mommy pick me up on Thursday” and I told him yes, praying that all of his routine returns. Once again he fell asleep quickly and he had one thing on his mind, “Dear God, church church church, Amen.” I told him we were going to church tomorrow and I’m thankful for a great day for my sweet baby O. In a river we can work with or against the current. Either way, we are taught an amazing lesson about life and how to grow. Smiles to all and donut daze!
Sleep happened for Owen once he got through the initial up and down last night. We both slept a few extra minutes and then it was coffee time. It’s always a coffee dance it seems in the morning. I love that he wants to spend the morning with me before he goes to school though. It’s one of my favorite parts of our day. He was very cuddly this morning or he wanted to steal my covers. I couldn’t decide which. We didn’t have much time before we needed to get out to wait for the bus. This meant that he wasn’t going to have much more time with his tablet. Trying to convince him sometimes to get dressed is difficult. He like all of us wants to do what he wants to do and getting dressed is not always one of the things he wants to do. I am continuing to try to promote his independence. It’s so important for him to be able to get dressed on his own. I had him go to his dresser and he needed to get his pants out for the day. He knows where the jeans are in his dresser, but he struggles with the idea of trying to figure out which drawer he needs to be in. also the drawers themselves are a challenge because he has to open it and pull out the clothes that he needs, then figure out where to put his clothes and close the drawer. That in itself is many steps. He still has not mastered, putting his pants in the correct direction. When he goes to put them on instead of grabbing them across where he would hold them open and just put his leg into each hole he takes them and grabs them where the zipper would go and the back so even though I’m handing them to him and trying to get him to put his hand on the sides, he then immediately changes to where it’s sideways. When he does this, I have to explain how he is wrong without sounding like it’s a problem.. However, he grabs them, but he needs to focus on what leg goes in which hole. His frustration comes when he’s trying to put his pants on and he has them backwards and I tell him that he needs to take them off and try again. We go through the steps but it’s still hard for him to comprehend once he gets his pants on or working towards being able to zip and button his clothes. Zipping is a lot easier for him than buttoning or snapping his clothes shut. I’m giving him ways to be able to adjust what works for him with buttoning or zipping up but it’s still hard for him. I also don’t want him to be frustrated when he’s putting his clothes on because that leads to more meltdowns and him not wanting to put his clothes on. We finished getting dressed and we were out the door. Today he was thrilled to be talking to Siri about all the different languages. I love how enthusiastic he gets about asking for every word and then hearing it in all the languages. His favorite, I think, is “buffalo buffalo buffalo in Arabic.” When his bus turn the corner, he was so happy. Over and over again he wanted to make sure that his next few days were going to be fine. It’s always a struggle when his routine is greatly changed and so thankfully he went to school today, tomorrow he’s going to go visit some friends and then Sunday will go to church. I reiterated to him this over and over again. I want him to feel confident in what is happening. I want to make sure that he understands that even though one day his routine isn’t what he expects it to be that he can still have routine on other days. When he came home from school, he didn’t want to go anywhere, but he wanted to stay home. He has been downloading and then deleting and then downloading and deleting again all of the different apps. I’m not sure why he has decided to do this. He got upset when he could not reload YouTube because he was downloading all of the other apps that I took off of his tablet to make room for new apps. I was able to help him get it back on and then he proceeded to delete it again. He also downloaded one of the apps he has in Spanish. He had a pretty good dinner of shrimp and then he asked for more shrimp. He again wanted to make sure that his schedule for tomorrow was going to be exactly what he thought it would be. He asked me numerous times if he was going to get to watch Mickey Mouse with our friends. I told him that it would be up to them what they did tomorrow. I explained to him that he needs to tell them what he wants to do and ask them if they want to do it. I’m trying to build those conversation skills with him. It’s hard to go back and forth with a conversation when you know what you want to say but you don’t necessarily know how to say it. I gave him a little extra time tonight on his tablet so that he can make up time for the morning since we slept in late. This Curious George thing has been amazing. He still is going to sleep without me in the room and tonight he fell asleep quickly. It’s amazing, truly amazing. I’m hoping that tonight is just another night in the string of great nights. Tonight’s prayer, “Dear God, Happy Thanksgiving, Amen.” I’m thankful for his laughter and his smile because they always make my day. Your smile is part of your story. Always remember that your story is the song worth singing. Smiles to all and donut daze!
Blink Thursday. Life happens when you have something else planned. My mom has said that for as long as I can remember and today represents that statement to the best of its ability. Owen slept great. I’m very thankful for this. He still has a few struggles but for the most part, he sleeps well during the night. I woke up early and he woke up later. I always worry that his sleeping late will create a ripple effect for the rest of the morning. I already had a cup of coffee before he got to my bed. He wasn’t happy that he had only a few minutes before it was time to get ready for school. Today was one of those days that was mixed with emotions. He wanted to get dressed for school, but he also wanted to play on his tablet. I’m trying to get him to realize that he has to finish getting dressed and then he can have more time with his tablet or his toys if he completes his task. This does not always go according to plan. He wants to do what he wants to do. Who doesn’t? He was able to get his clothes on with my help with buttoning and then I asked him to do his socks and shoes. This is a slow process. He squeals when he’s trying to put his socks and shoes on. I think part of it is trying to get attention because putting socks and shoes on is work. The more that he squeals the more he thinks I will answer and the more I will help him. I’m trying to get to the point where I’m not always coming to his rescue immediately hoping to promote independence. But that’s hard. Some days he doesn’t have trouble putting on his shoes and socks, and he’s very quick about it, other days he screams more than it takes him to do the work. We went out to wait for the bus, and he immediately started talking about the monkey. I love that he wants to do his exercises now and that he immediately goes through the process of having me move through the steps with him. He grabs my hand and then he attempts to bend forwards toward the ground. He wanted to hear “buffalo buffalo buffalo in Portuguese” and then the bus turned the corner. He started jumping up and down. I love how much he loves the bus. He was off to school. There were a few problems with his program today and I found out he wouldn’t be going to therapy. My heart broke a little more for him. I knew he would be sad and it would be hard on him. Anything out of routine is hard and it seems there have been a lot of things out of routine for him right now. The evening was a bit rollercoastery. He wanted to make sure all his days ahead were going to be what he expected. How do I explain that life is full of the unexpected? It seems impossible to explain but I’m trying. He ate a lot for dinner. Maybe it was like first dinner, snack, and second dinner. He threw all the bathroom rules out the window and bedtime was an up and down adventure for several hours. But his prayer was amazing tonight and that is what I cling to, “Dear God, what a song, Amen,” he said. Hear the melody of your song in the chorus of your heart. Smiles to all and donut daze!
When the rollercoaster is down it usually goes back up and through a loop. That’s about where I’m at. Owen had a good day, a repetitive day, but a good day. We slept an extra few minutes this morning which is always nice. He was a little on edge but he did most of the steps we needed to do in a pretty timely manner. After yesterday I prayed for a calm day for both of us. It’s all that behind the scenes mothering stuff that can be exhausting and Owen doesn’t understand. When you have a child that needs extra care through all the aspects you have to go through all the hoops to get there and some days sitting is simply what you want to do. I’m excited that he is taking the initiative to work on some of his exercises on his own. When we got outside to wait for the bus, he immediately started talking about the monkey and acting like a monkey. He did great with the action and started doing the movements. I’m excited to see where all his language skills will take him. He has been asking Siri and Alexa for more translations. When he came home from school, he sat at the table, ate a snack, and listened to everything in French and Spanish. I’m amazed at how fluent it feels like he is. He understands so much more than I can even imagine. To say he’s concerned about his teeth, growing in is probably an understatement. He has talked to his teacher about it and she is doing exactly the same thing as we are at home by trying to go over the fact that it is a tooth that is growing in and not one that he needs to lose. When he got off the bus, he immediately started talking to me about his tooth. “Wiggle it tooth loose a tooth loss tooth,” he said. He went on and on about what his tooth was doing and why it was not coming out. In words a lot of times he will actually say what he means but when he’s in the thought process, you can tell it’s a different meaning for him. He didn’t eat a lot for dinner but asked for a lot of foods today, none of which he had. He said, “pretzel popcorn pizza” and then he laughed and continued “no shrimp no chicken today.” I think sometimes he is having a conversation with me that we’ve already had and so he knows exactly how he wants it to go. He has a tiny sore on his pointer finger. He kept calling it his pinky finger. “Bandaid for booboo eat the bandaid”, he said. He wanted a bandaid so bandaid number one went on. A few minutes later he comes to me asking for “Spider-Man gloves cover booboo.” I told him he could wear them but it wouldn’t be good while he was eating dinner. Bandaid number two went on. Bandaid number three happened after I made sure bandaid number two was not eaten and then he told me his booboo couldn’t handle the bandaid so he took it off and “threw it in the trash.” I wanted to rejoice that no bandaids were eaten during this process. At one point during the bandaid frenzy his finger was such a concern he couldn’t go to the bathroom, he just stomped back and forth from the bathroom to the kitchen. Thankfully it all passed. “Dear God, George is a monkey thank you, God, Amen,” was his prayer tonight. I’m thankful for George too, God. He helps my boy sleep and is growing his independence. Through challenges we find growth and through our victories, we find the inspiration for tomorrow’s journey. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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AuthorI'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart. Archives
May 2024
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