It’s a process. It’s all a process. All of it. I have to remind myself I’m allowed to have emotions. Some days that’s hard. Some days I want to crawl into my pillow fort and stay. I love Owen’s words, I absolutely love Owen’s words, but there are days that they are exhausting because they are constant, constant. He has been sleeping like a dream. He woke in that state between wanting to be happy and wanting the world to slow down. The rollercoaster didn’t last too long and he was happy he was going to school but he absolutely could not process the getting ready part. He had a lot on his mind. He wanted to make sure he was going to his vision therapy today, that his bike was coming tomorrow if he was going to ride the bus on Wednesday, if “mommy pick me up on Thursday”, if he could see BeatBo robot on Friday at Chuck E. Cheese’s, and if he was going to “ride a unicycle to the bridge flags on Saturday” after he watched the basketball game. And I breathed. Plus, I told him to breathe. Days like this I get in circles. He needs me to go over and over and over his schedule. I try to explain to him not everything is written in stone but hopefully we can do all of these things to some capacity. He was thrilled when he got off the bus this afternoon because he knew after he ate his snack he was going to see the doctor for his vision therapy. I have to say I love the bond he has with his doctor and I’m truly thankful for so many amazing people in his life. He did great in his session and accomplished more exercises than they normally go through. He doesn’t focus very easily sometimes and as much as he wants to do the steps he asks to do the next exercise, play with his tablet, or tell us he is done. On our way home he wanted to make sure we drove by the windows and he said he wanted to ride a unicycle past them. This whole unicycle thing is going to be very interesting. He saw a unicycle on one of his apps and I think now he wants one of them. It would be incredible if he could learn to ride one. His request for chicken came in when we got home and he ate it all. Bedtime came quickly and he fell asleep once again in his bed all on his own. That truly is a glorious thing. Finding your calm in a whirlwind of life is something we need to practice daily. I absolutely am completely thankful for Owen’s words but keeping up with a genius that doesn’t forget a thing and expects you to remember it too is exhausting. Today, watching his therapy though I remembered how he would lay on the ground, screaming, staring at his hand, flapping it back and forth. And today he sings songs in French, plays the harmonica, and makes me smile as nobody else can. The victory comes in the tomorrow we face. Keep walking towards the victory. It may not happen overnight or even within a year but that victory will be that much sweeter. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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