Mostly we slept. One of us wanted to wake up a lot earlier than the other but at least we mostly slept. I was thankful I didn’t tell him we were going to breakfast with his grandparents because I’m not sure he would have slept as well. Owen was ready for his Friday the minute he woke up even though it was Thursday. Plans interrupt his routine and especially when his routine is something he wants more than the plans that I have for him even if it is something he might want to do. He woke up not knowing breakfast was happening but he knew his Friday was consisting of a therapy appointment he is fine with but that interrupts the process of staying home all day so that he can go to grandma’s house on Saturday to play on her computer and watch tv with her. But first, we had to get through Thursday. He loves going to therapy but so many other things were on his mind because they were not what he had scheduled. To say this thought process is complex is an understatement. My boy has got big brains and is amazing but he doesn’t always understand or maybe understands way too much about time. I’m sure there is more to this whole schedule and routine thing but I do know it is very important to Owen and that means it is and has to be important for me. Me helping him through the processing of this helps us both. Sometimes I feel like a deer constantly caught in the headlights. If I don’t respond or if I do respond and it’s not what he expects then his anxiety causes my anxiety to overthink why his anxiousness has become my anxiousness. There is no focusing in the moment but instead fixating on the activity that he needs to stay in his routined moment. The anxiety of not doing all of his activities causes the ripple effect forward. He had a great morning at breakfast and even handled that it was just breakfast with my parents and him not going home with them. He didn’t want to go bowling after breakfast so we went home for a bit and then I didn’t tell him but I decided we would go to the park so he could ride his bike. This went over so much better than telling him and he had fun going over the curb in our church parking lot. We then went to his therapy and he did great in his three sessions. He is excited about seeing the therapist tomorrow and then he wants to see the windows and come home. I told him we might go to the park with friends. He said, “and then go see the windows and come home.” That’s a Friday night plan if I ever heard one. In the evening we had a “discussion” about tomorrow and he was calm. I love when he throws big words into our conversations. He fought sleep but it didn’t take long at all. I pray for a good day and that he likes his new doctor tomorrow. The emotional journey sits on my shoulders but I hold on to the progress of his daily victories. In the beauty of your victories remember that you took every step to get there. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.