Owen slept. I was so very thankful. It was a little after six before he woke up. We are counting the days until school starts and he is very focused on going to see his grandma on Friday. I’m truly not sure why he has that on his mind but it was something he had on his mind from the minute he woke up until the minute he was supposed to go to bed and then actually did. When he woke he took a small detour to get his tablet and then he came to me. “Grandma’s Friday,” he said. I felt myself sigh. It’s an emotional road. I try to not expect him to say good morning to me but it’s emotional, emotional. I said, “good morning baby I love you.” He said it again. I went on, “I hope you slept well.” “Good morning mommy I’m fine,” he said. I told him that we would have to see about Friday but we needed to focus on today. He said, “focus on today” and off he ran. I tried to not remind him that our advisor was coming today. He heard me talking to her yesterday but he was so distracted I don’t think he heard me say when we would see her again. I knew he would wait by the window all day if he knew that she was coming. I was able to keep him busy and right before she came I let him know she would be here. It’s a lot for him to process when someone is coming. When she got here he came to see her but he wouldn’t look directly at her. He squinted, said hello, and turned away from her. That’s all he could process. It’s hard for him when people come into our space. It changes everything for him and it takes him a while to adjust to it. She was here for several hours and he eventually started coming back to tell me more things or show us something on his tablet. He was able to talk to her more towards the end but it was still hard for him to look at her without squinting his eyes. He did tell her goodbye and then off he ran to play with his tablet again. The questions about seeing Grandma on Friday almost started immediately. He didn’t eat much of his dinner but maybe it was because he ate most of the day. I didn’t tell him our friend was coming to take him to the library tomorrow. I’m hoping that by not telling him until the morning he will be able to sleep again. He focuses on what is happening so many days ahead that he can’t enjoy the moments of fun that he can have each day. Bedtime was an up and down process but once he got through talking about Friday with grandma he fell asleep. I’m thankful for the progress. It’s emotional because I want the world for my sweet baby O and as much as he can’t move forward some days I will keep trying to find ways to help us both. He asked me to sing with him while he played the harmonica and that made my day. Find joy in the little things and let them make your world shine bright. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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