My prayers were answered. Owen slept all night. He bypassed all the morning stuff and instead wanted his tablet but he came to me asking about it. “Tablet tablet,” he said. I said, “good morning Owen.” He said, “good morning mommy I’m fine tablet.” He had passed the bathroom and his tablet to get to me to ask about it but I was thankful for these moments. When he is calm this is when more of my words sink in and we can share our conversation with each other. It’s in those elevated moments that are so hard on him. I asked him if he went to the bathroom, knowing he didn’t. He said yes but with one look from me he was off and running to go. I was thankful that we both slept through the night. My exhaustion was beyond what I can even explain. I opened a drawer and I heard him coming to my room. He was checking to make sure that I was in the right place and that nothing I was touching was out of place. The pins and needles sit in my gut waiting for his reaction. He left without a sound. And my breath escaped my lungs with a loud sigh. I can only imagine what he goes through if my opening a drawer causes him to stop doing what he is doing to come to check on me. It doesn’t always happen and it doesn’t always bother him. But it always keeps me on my toes. As Owen came to me with waffles in his hair I remembered talking with my mom yesterday about what Owen ate while he was there. She told me he ate string cheese. This morning I got this message. She said, “I’m happy to report, I almost forgot, the string cheese fairy left me a large stick under my pillow!” The food under the pillow is always interesting. I’m never sure if he is saving it for later if it’s not something he likes, or if it’s a gift for the pirate tooth fairy. There are probably a few other explanations as well but never a dull moment when you get a food surprise. It was time to get ready for church and I held a pair of blue jeans and blue shorts in front of him. I didn’t say a word about what they were instead I said, “which one would you like to wear?” He said, “blue shorts.” I rejoiced quietly in my heart. We quickly got dressed and out the door we went. He got in the car and he put his seatbelt on. I had to remind him but he did it quickly and this was our victory. He was relatively quiet all the way to church. He even answered a few questions for me without screaming or being upset. He did great at church in his blue shorts. After church, he played on the playground and rode his bike. He wanted his tablet on his handlebar so he could listen to his music. We got some lunch and we came home. The rest of the afternoon went flying by and he was very calm. We had lots of little interactions. And then our internet went out again. This was not fun but thankfully after about an hour, it came back again. He was very excited that tomorrow is school even though he wasn’t ready to go to bed he was asleep as soon as he pulled up the blanket. Through the valleys of the day, he was able to get past them and had a really good day. My favorite part was when he was laughing so hard while I was tickling him. Every time I stopped he grabbed my hand and put them back on his feet. “One more tickle,” he said. The victory is always closer than you think. Remember every step forward is getting you closer to that victory. Celebrate your steps. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.