The world sounds so loud right now to me. I’m trying to process my brother’s death. But yet here’s the world still demanding my attention, still making me put one foot in front of the other. I think back over the years and it’s like when I found out Owen had autism. The doctors told me he might not talk and I told Owen they were wrong. Sure they have to tell you that or so they think but if he could say one word or verbalize one sound there was hope. And I needed the hope. The words the doctors said would not defeat us before Owen even had an opportunity to grow. I told him he could find the right place in his brain for his words. I knew he could do it and he just had to set his mind to it. He said his first word “duck” very early on and then no more words came for a very long time. But if he could say a word he could say more. I am not a big fan of change or for my own plans to not be written in stone but here I was with a child that has autism and routine means everything to him. I am learning to adapt and change the best I can to help my son in every way possible. Last night proved to me that the possibilities are endless. But I was beyond exhausted from all the planning and the adventure getting there and back but every single second was worth it. He slept until about four and then got into bed with me. We thankfully slept a couple more hours and he slept peacefully. Me not so much. He was very calm when he woke up. We had a few little moments but he did fine except when things were in the wrong place. I took him to “grandma’s house” and he was so happy. Later in the day, I met them at the park. He likes to go up the metal slide but he wants to hang on it and not go down. I told him he was not going to be allowed to go on it if he sat there and hung on it. We had to leave the park. We went back to “grandma’s house” for a few more hours and he did great except when I tried to cross my legs or walk and then he needed to fix all of my clothing. On the way home, it was a gift. Only a couple of the lights bothered him and he only talked about it raining once even though it wasn’t raining but the wonderful thing was all the singing. He sang and sang and sang. I loved every minute of it. Sometimes I would like to drive around the block a hundred more times and other times I wish the car could fly home. The night went quickly and my favorite part was when he sat with me and answered my questions about what we did yesterday. He answered each and every one. It was amazing. And he told me he wanted to sing on stage. I told him he would one day he just had to set his mind to it. Like everything in life the plans may change, the directions aren’t always clear, but we keep learning, and loving, and growing. Today Owen wanted pumpkin pie for his new treasure. I wonder what he’ll think when he taste it. Every day is an adventure and with eyes wide open we can embrace our future. Live life forward. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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