Well, we got more sleep last night than we’ve been getting so there’s that and he’s been happy today for the most part. Noises are becoming more and more intense for him. I can immediately see the change in him when he’s concerned about a noise. The look runs across his eyes, his head does a bob and sway kinda thing, and depending on where he thinks it’s coming from he will run all over to find it. I tried a new style of headphones. They were met with the same emotions as all the other ones I’ve tried. He wanted them off and he wanted them off quickly. I convinced him to leave them on for a moment, but nothing I did made him think they were a good idea. I’ve watched him mature in the last few days and I’ve watched him regress in the same amount of time. I hear more words coming from my sweet baby O, but more emotional outbursts as well. I immediately stop whatever we are doing and talk to him about attitude and learning to stay in control. This isn’t something we can talk about one or two or even ten times and he grasps it or starts doing it, this something we have to go over and over again. We work on breathing and counting through the emotions. And this momma is exhausted from those moments alone. But it has to be done. He has to understand he can’t be upset and throw things when something doesn’t do exactly what it’s supposed to do. And then I sigh really big and take another sip of my coffee. I gave Owen some of my lobster bisque to try. He ate about 5 bites with gusto and then was like nope. He said, “you done” after asking “what is it”. I try to always explain what something is and he knows that he has to at least try one bite. He promptly asked for, “shrimp turkey veggie straws pwease”. His wish was my command, not all at the same time, but hey, the dude knows what he likes. It was another hard night for him to fall asleep and another hard night for me to watch him struggle. Nothing seems to work very long for helping him fall asleep. I dream of the day he can tell me how I can help him more. For the love of my sweet baby O, I grow. Even in these moments of struggles know that you matter. Take time for yourself, keep moving forward, and smile through the tears that might fall. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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