We slept a little later than we normally do. Hey, I’ll take those few extra moments of quiet even though I got up numerous times throughout the night for one reason or another. Owen was calm when we got out of bed but I could tell he was also very anxious. He wants to know every detail of his day over and over and over again. And even when he has gone through it he still wants to discuss it again. He can’t let it go. He followed directions fairly well this morning as we were getting ready for church until I had to tell him numerous times to get his shoes. So I told him that I was going to get his black shoes or rain boots since he hadn’t gotten his shoes already. That’s always my response. He prefers his blue shoes even though they are exactly the same as the black pair. He said, “black shoes” and ran to get them. I found it interesting that he didn’t get his blue shoes at this point but instead he got the black ones. I was happy that he followed through on my words. Even though he didn’t get his shoes originally I felt like it was a victory and I told him I was proud of him. I remind myself to always be patient because he can’t process it all and I have to breathe. When he is in high gear I want him to slow down sometimes but that’s hard to even explain to him. When we left for church he did great in the car until we got close to church. Then he started saying, “wanna go home have to go to sleep first” and then he would see his teacher tomorrow. The anxiety of tomorrow is already here today. Lately, his anxiety seems to keep him in circles and repeating the same words and actions. Once we got to church all the way to his class he kept saying he needed to go home to go to sleep. I knew as soon as he was in class though he would be happy and he had a great time. As the day continued he started getting a snotty nose. Yesterday he sounded a little nasally but when he woke this morning it didn’t seem as bad but as nighttime came he was constant sniffles and putting his finger in his ear. He was making a screech sound throughout the day as well. I think he does this to cover up the noise he is hearing in his head because it happens more when he isn’t feeling well. He screams a lot but when he’s sick it’s more of a constant shrill. I’m praying that it is allergies and he will feel better tomorrow so he can go to school. I made the mistake of telling him that if he wasn’t feeling well that I was going to take him to the doctor tomorrow and he wouldn’t go to school. This was the wrong step because it sent him into an hour-long spiral about seeing his teacher first but wanting to go to his doctor who he loves. He told me all the steps she would do to make sure he was feeling well. When he was a baby I would always tell him that he was going to the doctor and what was going to happen. I would talk to him about how important these visits were and that the doctor was there to help us. I never wanted him to be afraid of going to the doctor. To this day I always try to make it like the appointments will be fun. I think it has helped him. Plus he gets to “ride on the elevator” and that is worth the trip anywhere to him. It took him a while but he calmed down and fell asleep talking about his doctor and his teacher. I pray that he is better and he can go to school. I tried to explain to him either way he would see his doctor this week because we already had his wellness checkup scheduled for Wednesday but he really couldn’t process the difference even though he knows the days of the week and his routine. He spent a lot of his day sitting next to me and I’m thankful he was happy for most of the day. Find your strength, push forward, and know that you are amazing. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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