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Bye Wednesday

8/19/2020

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The river of tears I’ve cried today doesn’t even come close to the emotions I have or the meltdowns Owen went through. People don’t understand the significance that doors have to my son. How could they. I have two front doors. Someone put a flyer on the storm door, opening it and leaving it ajar. Hours later Owen is still upset because the door was not closed properly. Add it to the list of things I have to fix. I was going to put a note on the door, but what should it say, “please I beg you don’t open my door” that’s the only thing that comes to mind. The front main door has a window at the top so he can see when the outside door is wrong. I should get a film to cover up the window for the main door. That should help I would think. He had such a good day, but so many rough moments. The night was longer than the day. For over an hour straight he yelled about “Spider-Man”, but it’s not really Spider-Man. He calls the video he watches that has mood music “Spider-Man”. He listens to it each night for a few minutes before he falls asleep. If I don’t turn it off after a few minutes it actually becomes something he is more obsessed with and it won’t help him fall asleep. Tonight after that elapsed time I put it up and the screaming began. I held him, trying to comfort him. I even gave in for a few minutes so he could watch the video longer. It’s so hard to know when to let a behavior work itself out or to help it move along. All I can do is pray and try to comfort him. I hung the second curtain tonight, hoping that will keep him from seeing the lights coming from the kitchen. I have a feeling it might be a late night for me. Our life is not always easy to explain, but the love sure is. Keep moving forward. Know that today is one moment in time and tomorrow is a brand new day. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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    I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.

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