Can’t Think About Sunday

Owen slept all night in his bed again. He woke, got in bed with me, and the telltale signs of sickness became evident. He had the tiniest of coughs, and the runniest of noses, but sleep won for another hour, or so. He was happy, until he figured out we weren’t going to church. I thought it was his allergies, but I wanted to make sure it didn’t get worse, before I took him anywhere. He got a tiny bowling set for his birthday. I’ve used it to distract him all day. The triangle shape that you would normally put the pins into, was more like a destination map with the pins spread everywhere. He stood, dropping the ball straight over the pins, watching them fall. It is the only toy I have ever seen Owen play with for over an hour, multiple times in one day. As the night wore on he realized he really wasn’t going to go to church. This has caused multiple meltdowns. I’ve tried to distract him, but sometimes that doesn’t even work. Routine is the world to Owen, and anything out of routine can throw off his whole day. A bath for the win tonight. It has calmed him when nothing else wouldn’t. Every time I tried to do something throughout the day he would scream, or get an inch from my face, repeating everything we were supposed to be doing, or where he wanted to go. The ocean waves feel like they are crashing down on my head. I ache for my baby when he can’t understand why something is different. I want to scream. He’s singing “happy birthday to Owen”, and quickly follows it up with “Christmas Christmas we’ll celebrate later”. I don’t know which one of us is yawning more. I pray for sleep for my baby. I’m thankful he didn’t get any sicker, and he has hardly coughed all day. One day at a time, I remind myself, breathing through the seconds. Find your calm, believe in yourself, and make today matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!