Today feels heavy. It feels emotional. And it feels like there is more to it, but I can’t quite define any of it. My music man slept well last night and he slept late this morning. We both have been yawning today, but Owen is happy and that’s what’s important. I love days when he is interactive with me. I like it when I ask him questions and he responds. Some days I know it’s extremely hard for him to process what’s going on around him and can’t answer me. I can see it in his eyes, in his demeanor, in his attitude. Days like that he doesn’t want to look at me, but it’s more like he can’t. I get emotional thinking about it. There’s a crossroad between me trying to give him the time he needs to process and me pushing him to keep going through the motions. I don’t want to push him too hard because that won’t benefit him at all, but I also want him to understand that we all have those moments and we have to keep moving forward. Last night I showed him the new lamp I got for “mommy’s room”. It has a pull-chain on it so I knew it would be easy for him to use. I however did not realize how much he would absolutely love it. He was beyond excited and enthusiastic about what it did. He kept turning it “offT” and on again. He realized when he got in bed he could reach the light and this made him even happier. He wanted to turn the light on and then got completely under the covers so he couldn’t see the light. He then yelled for the covers that were already on him, quickly uncovered himself, and turned the light off, only to repeat the steps again to turn it on. But boy, oh boy was he happy about the light. I finally convinced him to leave it off and after talking about it for a while longer he fell asleep. I never know what will bring him that kind of over the moon joy, but I do know that it is the greatest feeling in the world to see him be excited about something. Today the squeals of delight have been numerous, the songs varied, the potato chip greasy hands in my hair moments galore and the hugs abundant, which all makes for a good day even if this momma is a little emotional. As I remove the shrimp and potato chips from my hair I hear Owen talking about music and I know that we will be jamming soon. Life doesn’t always go according to plan, but keep moving forward and know that one step forward is still progress. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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