Sweet Baby O - Our Autism Journey
Contact Me
  • Home
  • The Daily
  • Paintings
  • Products
  • Church
  • Down This Road
  • Book
  • Podcast

Daily Tuesday

4/6/2021

0 Comments

 
Picture
Some days no matter what I try it feels sad. It took me several minutes and several swigs of coffee to even write the word sad. Owen’s made so much progress but when a pair of shoes is incredibly hard on my baby I just want to melt on the floor with him. Velcro, shoelaces, velcro, shoelaces, zippers, slip-ons, boots, back to shoelaces, back to velcro and, and, and over the years. Why does it have to be so hard for him. I ordered four pairs of shoes hoping one would work. None did. I might try one of the velcro pairs in the morning but it seems like such a struggle for him. He fixates on how his current shoes are tied, or tries to untie them, or screams about them being untied when they are still tied, and the list goes on. Velcro was our go-to for a little bit until the velcro started curling up. Then I tried slip-ons, which was a no-go. Boots didn’t work, sandals are not something we can even consider, flip flops are a flop, and what does that leave, oh zippered shoes and those get immediate screams. The four new pairs I tried were in and out and in the boxes again in less than five minutes. He wouldn’t even try one of them, his other foot pushed two off, and the last one was a grab and throw. I have the shoes sent to my house, I can’t even breathe through the thought of taking him to a store to try shoes on. I keep telling myself the tomorrow will finally come that he is literally comfortable in his own shoes. I can’t buy the shoes in every size because I thought shoelaces would be the answer but then it needed to be velcro and then back to shoelaces, so I wait. That tomorrow will come. It’s like my chant to keep me going. I hear my words coming out of Owen’s mouth but I also hear his teacher’s words, YouTube, Mickey Mouse, and from many other sources. Yesterday, on the way home from his doctor’s appointment, he started screaming at the turn he always screams at. I talk to him about screaming and how we have to respect each other and that we don’t scream. I hope the more we talk about it the less those screams will turn into meltdowns. Well, he screamed, he stopped, he said, “we don’t yell at each other respect” and started screaming again. I felt almost like I was in a Godfather movie. He said “respect” like he had great authority on the word. Some days feel sad, some days feel too rough around the edges, but I try to focus on the laughter we’ve had, the moments of focus and clarity, and his smile. Today he laughed as he learned to say, “buffalo buffalo buffalo in Arabic” and German, French, Spanish, and Russian. He sat on the couch asking Siri over and over again how to say numerous animals in all the languages she translates into. That’s the smile I need, that’s what lets me put down my coffee mug and not cry for a moment, and that’s what keeps me moving forward. Life isn’t always easy to explain but the love sure is. Be inspired and dream big. Smiles to all and donut daze!
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.

    Archives

    May 2025
    April 2025
    March 2025
    February 2025
    January 2025
    December 2024
    November 2024
    October 2024
    September 2024
    August 2024
    July 2024
    June 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    January 2024
    December 2023
    November 2023
    October 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    May 2017
    January 2016
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed