I had a happy boy again this morning. Owen slept until a little after five and then was singing up a storm from then on. He was ready for church and he was wanting to go back to church for another singalong. I told him that there wasn’t another one tonight but once he has something on his mind it is on his mind. I explained to him that tomorrow he has a therapy appointment before he goes to school with a new doctor to see if they can help us. We talked about how he would be going to school after the appointment and then riding the bus home. I told him he would still be going to his eye appointment after he got home from school. I went over his schedule again for the next few days and he let me get all the way to Thursday before he got upset and then he was done. Parenting is hard. I can’t figure out how to associate a behavior with being allowed to do a preferred activity when the behavior has been addressed over and over and over. Bathroom problems were a thing of the past until they are no longer a thing of the past. And then they will be a thing of the past again. I told him that we were not going to the big slides today because he isn’t always going to the bathroom when he should. There is that fine line of when do you set an activity based on a behavior or do you never mix the two. Owen is making incredible strides but I’m always trying to figure out how to approach discipline without using kid gloves and for his behavioral issues to not be then set in motion because he is trying to avoid the consequences of his actions. He doesn’t forget a thing and this is also hard because I do not necessarily want to use going to the big slides as a reward but I need him to understand actions and reactions. We worked on his eye exercises. I wanted him to walk a line by putting his feet one in front of the other. This is an extremely hard concept for his body to do. To place his one foot and have him leave it there took ten minutes. I finally got him to do it and then was able to help him place his other foot. Hopefully each day we can build on this skill. We got ready for church and one more behavior that I thought was gone resurfaced. It was raining and I was thankful that my pants getting wet didn’t cause him to scream but turning my wipers on did. It’s hard to imagine that wipers will cause him to have a huge meltdown. It’s something that I pray he doesn’t start again. As I sat watching the group singing on stage I thought about when Owen’s face was bright with excitement as he sang Jingle Bells this morning. He loves music. I told him he can do anything if he sets his mind to it. I know one day if he wants to be a musician or a singer he will be amazing at it. On the way home, he started talking about the appointment tomorrow and it was confusing him about the order and not going to school right away. I try not to make appointments when it messes up his schedule but sometimes I don’t have a choice. The day went fast and the rollercoaster was in full swing. He sat eating his dinner singing, “my name is hippo hippopotamus.” I had him help me paint his gingerbread house that he wanted to do until it was time to do it then he decided he wanted to eat it. I’m always shocked when he decides to eat something sweet. How do you process something that you can’t even begin to explain or understand I often wonder? I’m learning through grief to live and this story of life is being written every day. Today I was sad and emotional but tomorrow I will grow. I’m thankful for Owen’s progress and I pray every day that we keep moving forward. Believe in the miracles yet to come. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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