Merry Christmas. I cling to yesteryear. I cling to yesterday. I heard a sneeze and a cough coming from Owen’s room sometime after midnight. I prayed and I prayed and I prayed. My heart breaks when he is sick. I was hoping when he woke up it would have been a figment of my imagination or a passing thing. He woke at four and there was no convincing him to go back to sleep. He kept telling me to set the timer so we could get up. He understands more about Santa and presents than he ever has but his waking up early had nothing to do with presents. Instead, it had all to do with his tablet, routine, and not feeling great. He was very clingy this morning when we woke but once we got past the first couple hours it then changed to still not feeling great but full of energy. I gave him his presents and they were the books he asked for plus a couple he hadn’t requested. He put them with the rest of his books on the floor instead of in the bins. I also got him a couple of other things that all got hidden away. He liked them but he can’t process them yet so away they went for another day. He said, “Santa brings me present.” I was happy how all the connections to church and Santa were coming together for him. He told me “Santa goes back to the pole tonight.” He loved watching the musicians play last night. He talks about violins and can pick them out of songs he hears. I tried to see if he wanted to play his violin tonight but he said, “squeaky” so I think he knows he is not an expert yet because when he hears it in songs he likes it and tells me about it. I had him hold his violin and I think that helped him process it. I am amazed at how he can pick out the different instruments in songs. The more he is exposed to concerts and music the more I see growth in him when he is playing and singing. He fell asleep quickly tonight. It’s hard not knowing what is troubling him but I’m thankful he was able to have a good day despite him not feeling well. Hopefully, he will feel better tomorrow and he can enjoy the rest of his Christmas break. He really wants to go to the big slides and out to dinner with our friends. Plus he told me he was going to breakfast with grandma on Wednesday. My emotions covered the map today. Any and all of them were on my sleeves. I pray for peace tomorrow in my soul, I pray Owen feels better, and I pray for all that felt alone today on this beautiful holiday. The memories splashed across my face as the day wore on but I didn’t cry, yet. I’ll leave that until I lay quietly in my bed. Through those tears, I find peace and focus on tomorrow. Even when emotions take over know that you are not alone and that this is one moment in time. Keep moving forward. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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