One of the hardest things in the entire world is when my baby is sick. He can’t always tell me what hurts or how bad he is feeling. I have to guess. I have to compare it to all the other times he’s been sick. And then I second-guess it all. This morning Owen woke very early but didn’t seem to be feeling any worse than he did yesterday. One of the things we’ve got going for is now is he knows all his doctors’ names and he will say he is going to the doctor even if he can’t explain. He never mentioned his doctor’s name and he stayed pretty consistent most of the day. His energy level and the amount of food he ate both were up there. I was really surprised by how much he ate and he was trying a couple of new things for me. Right before dinner time, he started getting snotty. I’m praying that it goes away overnight. Throughout the day he has been very interactive with me but he was also wanting to follow only his rules. This morning he was attempting to sit on the vents again and I told him that he especially didn’t want to do this right now while he was sick. I told him “it will cost you your tablet with that behavior.” He said, “it cost money can’t have funny foods no coins.” He made the connection that when he wants different apps that cost money I won’t always let him have them, especially because I know sometimes he is only going to play with them for a few minutes. I always like to check out the apps that he wants before we spend money on them; unless a meltdown is happening over an app and then I know I can always delete it later. He did amazing with his spelling and associations. He was spelling words all day and telling me about them. “Five is like fire,” he said and spelled both words right after each other. I spent most of the day reflecting on my own childhood and how much my mom would watch me like a hawk when I was sick. I can remember sitting in the waiting room before going back to see the doctor. It’s amazing how vivid those memories are for me. I pray that Owen will always feel my love and know that I’m doing my best for him. It is an emotional journey to the acceptance of where we are at and where we have come from. I always say it is as much about how I handle it as it is about Owen having autism. And it is hard. You have this beautiful child and he screams at you a lot, a lot. It’s hard. But there is also so much my heart has gotten from this incredible journey and the happiness he shared with me. There were so many victories today and I’m thankful for his connections. My prayers are for him to be feeling much better tomorrow so that we can have some fun on his Christmas break. Never give up on the dream of tomorrow. Success isn’t always an overnight success story but rather a journey of completing it right. Be proud of the steps you take and the journey to your success. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.