In the blink of an eye, a tear fell down Owen’s cheek. I can barely see from my own tears for my baby. What seemed like a really good day quickly turned into one of the hardest nights since the quarantine started. He was full of words and excitement today, he even went to spend some time with his grandma, but his emotions escalated as the night wore on. He watched as his shrimp cooked for dinner. He said, “it’s still hot the end” as he stood in front of the oven making sure it was shrimp. He ate all of his dinner, but he seemed sad. I tried to talk to him, but he kept asking to sing Old MacDonald. Everything now goes on the farm. On the way to grandma’s house we sang and sang some more. He belted out, “and on dis farm he had a rutabaga”. All the vegetables go on the farm now. Seems appropriate. When we talk about the different animals that go on the farm he will add animals like a bear and then he says, “no way” and laughs hysterically. The smiles and laughs carried me through our day until emotions and tears filled both our hearts. I knew the night was going to be rough when he started pushing me earlier. And from there it kept going. I held him, I rocked him, and finally gave him compression and that calmed him enough for sleep to happen. And I cried some more. My baby doesn’t understand why his world has changed so much and I don’t have any answers. One day at a time. Our journey is not always easy but the love sure is. Follow your heart, know that tomorrow will be a brand new day, and you are not alone. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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