This has been one of the hardest weeks for me in quite some time. Or maybe since last week. November is crashing down on us soon. Each of the firsts will be over. Then it’s the seconds. Grief is a beast. I tried to go to sleep last night not feeling the waves of emotions. But they were there. I’m sure Owen felt them. Maybe that’s why he had a rough night. The good news was he slept all night and woke up to our new routine of me getting my coffee, him waiting to turn off the lights, him saying “no chocolate milk no cereal”, and then crawling in bed with me. He had his tablet and I had my phone but I was armed with tickles and a timer for when we had to get dressed. He laughs so much now, at everything. I love his laugh. His laugh is the bandaid my heart needs. The bandaid is ripped off so many times during my day when I see any hint that Richard is a memory but Owen’s laugh is the melody I need. We were a little slower and the bus got there a little earlier so we didn’t have a very long time to talk before he was off to school. He did tell me to ask him about how many animals he could name and started listing them immediately. He also wanted me to know that I had selected the wrong colors for my clothes today but I chose to move on through that conversation. When I picked him up from school for therapy his teacher said he has been having some really great days. I was glad to hear it. When we got to his therapy I asked him if he wanted to wear his Spider-Man costume to his sessions. They were working on the steps to do trick or treating and taking the kids around to the different classrooms and offices. His therapist said he did a great job and loved it. We have never gone trick or treating before because the concept was too hard for him and he did not like to dress up or go to other people’s houses and then walk away. We are going to a trunk or treat at our church on Sunday so hopefully, he will like that. It blends all the rules together but we are going to try. After his therapy, we went to see the “tractor with a seatbelt ride the tractor with Goofy.” He went on “Professor Von Drake will be there we’ll have to wait and see.” He enjoyed sitting there and then he told me he wanted to ride it to the stoplight. He also remembered the associate's name that we saw last week that walked around with us. She was wearing blue pants this time and Owen was pleased. She was very nice and told him she remembered. He was glad he got to see her again. He asked to go to the tents but I told him we could do it another day. When we came home it was a calm evening. I suppose I tried not to rock the boat or ask too many questions either. I did point out that Mickey and Donald both do not wear blue pants but he was not interested in that or that I was thinking about dressing up like them. This is when I decided we should not get too riled up. Since Owen is an excellent screamer and mimics different videos he hears I told him he needed to learn how to sing scream. I let him listen to a song and he went to sleep wanting to listen to more “wed zeppelin.” So now I am currently researching songs that have screaming with a purpose to see if we can work on those harmonies. It’s never a dull moment around here. He fell asleep quickly in between requests and hopefully he will sleep through the night. Thankful for his laughter which makes my heart happy. Find what makes your heart sing and puts a smile in your soul. Smiles to all and a donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.