The rollercoaster ride was in full swing today. I never imagined how many emotions I could feel in one day and wondering which ones are emotional for no reason besides I’m being emotional and which ones needed to be validated. Owen woke about eight. I could tell he was feeling much better as soon as I saw him. Thankfully his fever was down and the meds were working. He wanted food and lots of it today. He hadn’t lost his appetite over the last few days but today he asked for everything. His routine is anything but routine right now and every day he is questioning every day, repeatedly, and then over and over again, and then back to questioning and repeating his questions repeatedly. My heart aches for him and yet there is not one thing I can do. “Stay home Tuesday,” was repeated throughout the day. Then it changed to “stay home Wednesday” the later in the day it got. His foot started thumping the floor with his nervous energy when he yelled he was staying home tomorrow and not going to see his teacher. It’s like she has been taken away forever from him because he wasn’t there today and we didn’t prepare him for this sickness. I cried out to God more times than I can count praying for answers, solutions, and clarification of all the things that have no clarifications. The tooth fairy is gone with tooth but we searched all over for her and the tooth that is gone. I told him I would give him a lollipop without the tooth fairy but he needed his tooth. He wanted to eat grass and bugs to bring back his tooth. I explained it doesn’t work that way but truly how does it work. Laundry was not a good idea to do today even though I had to do laundry from all the messes that were made from top to bottom during the day. I put laundry on my bed to finish putting it away. It was eight shirts, a nightgown, one of his shirts, and some pajama bottoms and this caused hours of meltdowns, hours. It’s not even that stuff isn’t out laying around other places it’s how he has his mind already decided where certain stuff needs to be and where other stuff can’t be. My bed can have nothing on it for some reason. He goes into complete meltdown even if there is a piece of paper on it. I’ve gotten it so I can have my laptop sitting on it because I caught him almost throwing it on the floor. There are several places in my house that he can’t handle anything else being there. He went back and forth about staying home Wednesday. Then he said, “you feel sick” because he is trying to process being out of routine. Owen finished his dinner and trying to wipe his face is like trying to hold an octopus while it’s playing ping pong and fending off guppies and it especially hard now that he has been sick and is in sensory overload. I pray when he wakes up he can go back to school tomorrow. I’m not going to push it if he sleeps late but his medicine seems to be getting him in the right direction. Bedtime happened quickly and he was out almost immediately. My heart says make him go to school tomorrow to help his routine but I also know this is all hard on him. I keep telling myself no decision has to be made until the final decision has to be made if he goes. I know that his teacher will be happy to see him and it would be great for him to get back into routine. Even through our challenges today I saw growth and I know that he will be happy when his routine returns. Make your heart happy, your soul wise, and make your dreams come true. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.